


Territory (Revised)

by Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron/pseuds/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron
Summary: After an attack werewolves are demoted to the rights of a house elf. Forced to work Remus was lucky to find a family as nice as the Potters. When Sirius comes to stay with them after he runs away Remus has a hard time adjusting to the new addition to the family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Territory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3365471) by [Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron/pseuds/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron). 



> The original will still be here on AO3 for those who prefer it to this one. For all of you who are just reading this for the first time I hope you like it.

He pretended not to know later. To have forgotten in the rush of everything, but he hadn't. He remembered everything.

His father had came home early from work. A good thing. He had been promising for ages that he would try and get home before Remus' bed time. To do more than give him a tired kiss goodnight. Remus had been aching for it. He'd been planning on introducing his dad to his new toy, the big stuffed owl his mum had gotten him last week. They hadn't met yet, and introductions were important when they were going to be spending the foreseeable future under the same roof.

When the door slammed he had been elated, running from his room with his stuffed owl tickling his arms and jumping in glee at his dad's feet.

Remus didn't remember what his father looked like on any other day. Really, his face had faded along with any good memories before that night. He didn't remember if his father had always looked that tired. Tired enough for a six year old to notice anyway. His skin was gaunt and stretched, his eyes hollow and smudged, looking like his mum had painted some of her charcoal sticks under them so thickly that they seemed a permanent fixture. He held himself painfully, leaning heavily towards the side where his briefcase was touching the floor. It looked like he was holding on for dear life, the worn leather wanting to lean tiredly against its usual wall, stopped only by his dads fingers tight around the handle.

It stopped Remus up short, his jump falling flat and landing with a steady thump. But that could have been the briefcase, finally escaping his dad's hands as they ran across his pale skin.

'I need to talk to your mother,' he said, the dismissal clear. Whenever dad had to talk to mum he was never allowed to listen. It was always about grown up stuff anyway, money or work he had no interest in. Really, the only interesting adult thing he had heard them talk about was when dad got his new job at the ministry.

So Remus nodded and scampered, hoping the talk wouldn't last too long. His dad was home from work early after all. Tired or not, he had made a promise and Remus was going to make sure he kept it. Another thing that was important, at least his mum thought so.

He contented himself for a while fluffing up his owls wings, smoothing them out so he was fit for a formal setting. When that got boring he tried thinking up a name for him. He still hadn't come up with one, none of them seeming right for his tawny friend.

Running through the last of the A's his door opened, both his parents spilling into the room. This wasn't good. The last time they had tag teamed him like this was because he had broke the dial on the oven. Apparently it was 'dangerous' for him to play with things that could erupt into flames or spew poisonous gas. But Remus argued that if they were so 'dangerous' then why have them in the house at all.

Instead of cornering him on his bed like last time only his dad took a seat, his mum seemed to be taking the physical option and started rooting around his wardrobe, throwing things out and making a mess that he was not going to clean up.

'Remus?' His dad stopped, shuffling about and folding his legs under him. Oh no, he was getting comfy, this couldn't be good. 'How would you feel about taking a little trip?'

Everything he had done in the past month flew through his mind. Sure, he'd broke a few plates. Sure, he'd forgotten to close the backdoor on occasion. He'd tracked mud through the house, he'd invited a rat in to play with him. But they had already shouted at him for that, he'd done his penance. He said so now, trying his hardest not to let the tears pricking at the edge of his eyes to fall. He wasn't going to give in, crying would only make his words warble and they needed to hear him. He wasn't that bad, he could be good.

His dad seemed to understand him, or realize what the scene before him looked like, since he immediately shut down Remus' sobbed attempts at pleading and pulled him in for a hug. 'No, no, I don't mean you. I mean all of us. A little trip with all of us. Like a holiday.'

'A holiday?' He hadn't been on one of those for a while. Not since he'd 'accidentally' wandered off in Blackpool and his mum had sworn no more holidays until he stopped his wandering streak. He hated to point out that just last week he had caused a near panic attack when his mum couldn't find him at the shops, and pointedly forgot to mention that just that morning he had toddled off in the middle of his mum's speech about keeping the house clean to play in the garden because they were going on holiday. Holiday. So long as he kept his mouth shut. 'Like at the beach?'

'Beach? Sure,' His dad agreed, his body sagging and the first smile he'd seen on his dad's face that day creep onto his mouth. 'We'll build sand castles and look at rock pools. We'll have fun. That sound okay?'

'Yeah!'

He helped his mum sort through his clothes, ignoring the snappish comments she made for him to choose. He didn't understand why she was being so moody, they were going on holiday. That meant she should be happy. She should be helping Remus decide if taking his new owl would be a good idea or not instead of just throwing it in a bag and telling him to grab his coat. He would have thought his dad would have came to his defence. When his mum got into these moods he was always the first one to pull her aside and tell her to calm down, that there was nothing to be harried about.

If anything his father seemed just as, if not more so, on edge. He didn't even glimpse at what his mum was packing, telling her to either hurry up or just leave everything. But they couldn't leave everything, if they left everything then what were they going to wear. Remus was not going on to the beach in his socks and underwear again, he had a swimsuit for a reason.

All that could be said for that was in vain however, no sooner had he made to grab his swimsuit his dad grabbed him by the arm and dragged him downstairs. He was sure some slight argument came out of his mouth at the rough treatment, but truthfully he was rather scared of his dad at that moment. The grip was too tight, the pace too fast, he was almost stumbling over his own feet as his arms were wrapped around his thick coat and feet lifted for his shoes.

'Hope just leave it!' Rang through the house, dad wrenching the door open and taking the two of them towards the car.

The door slammed shut, his dad making one last run to the house to grab his mum before the three of them were locked inside. Remus tried to tell one of them that they had left the front door open, something they had told him off for more than once, but the raised voices in the front meant his little complaints went unheard.

The car creaked to life, gravel and dirt crunching underneath the tires as mum made her way through the winding roads to the first and only village near them. It was rather lonely in the back, his sweets that he had hidden last they took a ride had been cleaned out that morning by his mum. His owl was in the back, the bag it was packed inside one of two that had made it outside their door. He wished he had thought to leave something else in the car, conversation with his parents was out of the question, the quiet in the front even worse than that time his mum had discovered dad bringing Remus back from Mungo's after a wayward flying lesson had broke his arm.

Talking was out of the question, games even more so. Eventually he had to look outside to amuse himself. The long stretch of trees glowing orange in the twilight, and after counting them made him feel sick he looked to see if he could spot any stars appearing. There was none, but there was the moon. It was big and round, clear in the sky even from this early in the evening. He remembered when his dad had taken the three of them into the woods for camping, all of them making up names for the constellations when his dad couldn't remember them from his school days. He wondered if they would be friends again by night fell, he wouldn't mind playing that game again. Just to pass the time.

The village loomed up ahead, the sky dark in the twenty minutes it took to get from his house to there. the newsagent was the first thing to crop up, the white building yellow in the street light's glow. He usually would have asked to stop and get something sweet. With it being dark the shutters were down, besides they fled past it too quickly for the question to even form in Remus' mind.

They passed the first few houses, the place where the girl who splashed mud on him the other day lived, the house where the friendly couple who always gave him biscuits, they all fled by as fast as the newsagents. They seemed to be going past everything fast-

The seatbelt dug into his chest, his breath coughing out of his lungs as the car screeched to a halt. His dad was cursing in the front, mum screaming incoherently. Their raised voices pitched until nothing was coming out of them but gasps.

The car doors opened, his parents spilling out and checking the car over. Something must have been wrong since his mum immediately swore and ran to the boot. He was pulled out as roughly as the bags, his dad actually carrying him instead of letting him walk like usual. He was starting to get worried, how were they going to get to the beach if the car was broken?

He tried to protest, arguing he could walk dad, he had been able to for years now. His dad didn't listen, roughly shaking him and telling him to stop squirming as they hurried through the street.

'We can probably steal one of those up ahead,' mum said, her walk almost a jog as she eyed the cars in front of them. 'You can make it start, right?'

'Probably, but-' A chorus of screams flitted through the air, the sky briefly turning black as the clouds above obscured the moon. It was weird, Remus could have sworn they looked like a skull. The screams cut off as abruptly as they began, the three Lupins chilled more that they had stopped than when they were going. 'That came from the left.'

'The right,' his mum corrected, the two of them looking close to tears as they looked in their prospective areas. 'Can we do something? Can you disappear, apparate, whatever you call it?'

Dad grunted, looking around again. 'We need to get to a dark alley. Even if this isn't an attack we can't risk any other muggles.'

The nearest alley happened to be between the bakers and the butchers. The houses were too close together to provide shelter for them, and the butchers was almost a full street away. The walk that they had been using before was now a flat out run, his dad's footsteps jostling in a steady rhythm as they rounded the corner.

The butchers was in sight, the alley just big enough for the three of them to crowd into. They were almost there when a rustling stopped them still. The arms around his middle were tighter than they had ever been, one of them inching towards the wand he knew his dad kept in his jacket pocket.

A screech filled the air, the black bags moving in front of him as a raggedy cat jumped out. Remus almost laughed, the cat had scared him silly, and he was waiting for his parents to share in his mirth, but if anything they were even more solid.

'The butchers, get to the butchers,' dad hissed, his arm moving faster than Remus could follow and flicking towards the locked door of the meat shop.

The three of them just reached the open butchers door when something snaked out of the alley they had been making for. It looked like a shadow, escaping from the darkness and pouncing on the cat. The clouds cleared, the shadowed shape growing teeth and eyes that glinted in the moonlight. Teeth that clasped around the cats neck, shaking it once and sending limbs flying as they clamped tighter through the thin skin.

Remus screamed, hitting his dad in his bid to get away. There was a monster. A monster. One that heard him thrashing around in his dads arms and lifted its head to stare straight at him.

His dad shook him again, shouting at him to quiet down but it was too late. With one tip of its massive jaws it howled, others responding until the quiet village was drowned in the sound of howls.

The door was barricaded, his dad dragging them through the back and up to the apartment above. They managed to get to the kitchen before the banging began.

Remus was set inside a cupboard, told to be quiet, don't say a word. He didn't know what was going on, why they weren't coming in with him, why they weren't getting away from the monster trying to eat them.

It was dark, he couldn't see anything. He tried to die down his sobs as hard as he could, but hiccups still spilled out. The thud in his ears was so loud he was sure he wouldn't be able to hear again, but as the one in his head died down the one in real life grew louder until-

There was quiet.

For all of three seconds. After that there was a cacophony of bangs, shouts of familiar words and something that sounded like snuffling outside his cupboard door. It moved from the gap, moving up until Remus was sure it was the same height where his face would be. A shout, and the wood in front of him moved as something large crashed into it. The cupboard splintered, Remus' limbs going into overdrive as his flight instinct kicked in. He rushed past the monster, the thing picking itself out of the cupboard with some difficulty.

He had hoped to take shelter near his dad, he had the wand, the spells that had stopped this monster from eating him. He'd hoped to find him just outside the door, instead he ran into his mum. Or what was left of her. Really he wouldn't have been able to recognize her had he not recognized the jumper she had left the house with.

He didn't want to look. Was sure he was going to throw up, just as the growl behind him sounded less woody than it had before.

The monster was free and had its sight set on Remus.

His dad was out of the question. He didn't know where he was, and really that was the least of his worries right now. An open doorway up ahead was the cover he needed. He dived, screaming and hoping someone could hear him as the monster pounced, cutting his jump short by clamping its teeth around his leg. His screams took on a different tone as pain replaced fear. He scrambled, clawing at the patterned carpet to get away. The teeth held on harder, almost ripping his leg from its kneecap.

He managed to get to the table, grabbing its legs and pulling it hoping to get away. The table upended, the wood caging his arm in and sending the possessions on it flying. He didn't know what, but something had the monster keening away, scattering from the room and leaving Remus as it regrouped.

He thought that would be it. He would be safe, that it would be gone. Yet almost as soon as the teeth were gone he felt the agony in his leg spread to the rest of his body. His leg broke, twisting and regrouping in a pain more surreal he had ever thought possible.

His shoulder breaking was the last thing he remembered before everything went black.

He woke in agony.

His leg was heavily bandaged, the rest of his body in a similar state. Whining, he tried not to cry out as he sat up, coming face to face with twelve other children in a similar condition to himself.

They were in a heavily padded room with no adults or windows to tell them where they were. The oldest among them was thirteen, and when Remus really looked at the other children, he realised he knew them. They were all from the village. He had played with these children.

Over the next few months he learnt a lot of things.

The creatures that attacked the village were called werewolves, much like the ones his dad used to monitor at work. It seemed that, as Remus and the others had been bitten, they were now werewolves themselves, which made some of the older children start crying when they were told. They learnt that the attack was because a ministry member, which was where they were, had angered a rogue werewolf. The man had took his revenge on the village, teaming up with Death Eaters- a word Remus remembered his parents mentioning once or twice- and slaughtered the village the ministry worker lived in.

The ministry had asked them about a lot. The attack, who they were and what they could remember. Remus pretended not to know anything. He couldn't. Not before that night anyway. But he could remember that his dad had came home from work. That he was the only person who knew about magic in the group of children in the room with him. That his dad had worked for the ministry. He may have been six but he wasn't stupid. He knew when to keep his mouth shut, especially when he learnt what happened to the adults who had been bitten.

No one in the room was over the age of sixteen. The eldest there was thirteen, the whole lot of them being told they were there for rehabilitation. The others were killed as soon as they were rounded up.

The rehabilitation programme came into work the night of the attack. It seemed the ministry didn't want to take another chance of a slaughter happening again. They also didn't want to execute an entire race in case of rebuttal from the wizarding community. So they had to instigate this new program. Adults were a lost cause. Children on the other hand, could be moulded to the ministry's standard. So only the under age ones were allowed to live. The rest of the werewolf population had been given the right to be shot or killed on sight. The cells they were staying in were the ones previous adult werewolves had been in the night of the full moon. The cautious ones that didn't want any trouble and who now were facing a silver bullet to the head.

The programme for them was meant to make them more productive members of society, by reducing their status to those of helpers. They were like house elves, only house elves had magic. These kids had nothing.

They were to be given work and house from a pure-blood family who would take care of them. Which meant they had to know their place. They were, as of the slaughter, no more than animals up for adoption.

Five months was all it took before the ministry decided they didn't want to keep the children anymore and allowed the pure-bloods to view and choose from the group they had made. The younger ones, such as the four year old girl who Remus had pushed in the mud once, were the first to go. The pure-bloods said they could work on breaking them in if they had little brains from their previous life.

Quite frankly Remus was appalled at the pure-bloods.

There were no nice ones that he had seen since the McKinnons. They had came in and adopted the thirteen year old with promises of new clothes at their house. The others that had came in had assessed them like pieces of meat, taking what little they had before giving them rags to change into in front of the ministry workers.

Week after week his group dispatched into new homes. The Blacks had taken a small boy of eight, whilst the Goyles had taken the girl, that the nine year old in the group had sworn to marry, eight months ago. The Malfoys, Gamp, Nott and Yaxleys all came and took their new pets until it was his turn.

His family came in the door with bright smiles on their faces. They were a couple in their late thirties who had taken to Remus immediately. The paperwork had been drawn up and sorted in hours, and soon Remus was theirs to take home.

They didn't make him put on rags straight away, and instead fussed about how many scratches he had on his body. One floo ride later and Remus was introduced to the Potter house. It was a small house situated on the outskirts of a village. It reminded Remus of his old home, a wave of homesickness falling over him as it sank in again that his family was gone. He was alone and had nowhere else to go.

They showed him the cellar first, which was where Remus would be changing on the full moons. They led him on a little tour around the house next, showing him, surprisingly, a rather large room that was to be his. He was told that he was to be their guest not their servant not long after that.

Around an hour after Remus got to the Potter house he heard the back door slam, small footsteps thundering up and a messy haired boy rounding the corner to stand in front of him. He looked wild, was the only description Remus could get of this boy. His hair didn't look like it had lay flat a day in his life, it was a wild mane of tangles that stuck up in every direction. The rest of him was all over the place, his limbs flying and feet jumping in excitement as he looked Remus over. Finally after mere seconds of observation on both parts James stuck his hand out, a gleaming grin on his face. 'James Potter, nice to meet you.'

Remus looked at the hand in front of him, remembering the conversation the ministry workers had told him. He wasn't to do anything human anymore. He wasn't human. He was a monster and had to make sure he wasn't doing anything that could hurt or taint the normal people surrounding him.

'Doesn't he speak dad?' James asked, his hand falling down to rest at his side.

'I'm sure he does, he's probably a little nervous.'

'Just give him time,' Mrs Potter urged, going to lead James back down to the living room. 'Merlin knows what the ministry has droned into him. We just have to wait a little.'

'Then I guess he can keep quiet for now.'


	2. Chapter 2

_ 10 Years later _

Remus was excited. It had just hit the end of June which meant that James was due home from school. He remembered the first year James had went, the Potters had been so proud. The four of them were having breakfast one morning when the owl came, a rather formal looking thing with feathers all shiny from a good home. Mr Potter was the first to recognize it for what it was, whooping around the kitchen table and telling James to grab the letter.

Remus hadn't understood what going to Hogwarts meant at that time. It took one of the last trips he would voluntarily take to Diagon Alley and standing on Platform 9 3/4 for him to realize James wasn't coming home when he went there. He would be gone all day and all night, not returning until the next year, or Christmas if James decided to come home. He rarely did.

It had took some adjusting. Ever since he came to the Potters house his life had been invaded by James. He wouldn't let up with getting Remus to talk. He asked question after question those first few weeks:

'What were your parents called?'

'Do you think they're still alive? I heard some people escaped.'

'Does it hurt when you transform into a werewolf?'

'Does your arm hurt? Dad said you did it during the moon, do you remember doing it?'

Until one night when Mrs Potter shooed him away from trying to clean up James' room on the principle that he had to do it himself. He shuffled his way to the living room, still uncomfortable in this new place and hung around the back of the sofas until Mr Potter finally told him he was allowed to sit down.

James had been moaning around upstairs, asking why Remus couldn't just clean his room if he so clearly wanted to. With one massive stomp he joined the rest of the men, collapsing next to his dad and shuffling his feet under Remus' thighs. He really had no concept of personal space, or adjustment periods since he had been laying on Remus since he got there.

They were in silence for a while, enough time for James to get bored and start upending Remus with his feet. The stream of questions was almost predictable after that, James starting with a one sided conversation complaining about his mum before asking the one question Remus could actually answer.

'What kind of books do you like?'

'Adventure I think.'

James had been unstoppable after that, hanging around Remus 24/7, which just made the separation that much more harder. Especially since, with James gone, that meant he was alone with the elder Potters.

He loved them like they were his family. They actually were his family. But James was the only one he really felt at ease around. Mrs Potter was sweet, always trying to include him the same with James. She always made sure one of them wasn't without, which just made the obligation Remus felt to make her life easier double in the years he spent with her.

Mr Potter was the same. He even tried to teach Remus Quidditch, and always went to him when James was being difficult when he wanted to experiment his hair products. He was the one who supplied most of Remus' library, the bookcase that dwarfed the largest wall in his room. He should have felt like a truly spoilt boy, but there was always that thing, him being a werewolf, that made him feel like he should be thinking up ways to make it up to them. To repay him for his generosity. He sometimes hated how his mind worked.

So life with James gone was uneasy to say the least. He tried to keep himself as quiet as possible, as helpful as possible, and listened attentively when Mrs Potter tried to give him some lessons to help him keep up with every other kid.

It was okay.

But James coming back was always the best part of the year.

He had went all out. Making his favourite for dinner, cleaning James' room for his trunk to explode over. He even made sure he finished his latest book and homework early so he had time to listen to James' stories of mischief. At Christmas, one of two he had come back for so far, James had came home full of stories about how he and his two friends had created a map that showed where people were at any given time in the castle. Remus had spent hours after James told him researching the magic that would have went into overriding the wards on Hogwarts. It was impressive, and if James could do that in a span of a few months he was itching to know what he had done for the rest of the year.

The door banged, as if hearing his excitement, James' voice trailing after it announcing his return home. 'Remus!'

He was taking James' coat before his name finished ringing, taking in the boy who had left six months ago. He had grown, that was for sure, nearly towering over Remus who was yet to experience his second growth spurt. Something else had grown too, his hair even more wild than usual as it sprouted vertically at a length that had long passed charming and just looked stupid.

The two of them moved further into the house as banging outside signalled James' trunk was being unpacked. He led the boy into the kitchen, watching the excitement zing through James' entire body as he finally erupted into his tales of the year.

'Okay so, where to begin...' He started on with Sirius and Peter, the three of them using the map to start a new reign of terror on Hogwarts. They knew where everyone was, where they were heading, it was perfect for them to both pick their victims and avoid being caught. James was ecstatic. He went on and on about what Sirius said before hexing so and so, and what Peter did when they were almost caught by Filch because he had read the map wrong. Remus was grinning almost as bad as James when he finally moved on to talking about his other passions. Namely a girl named Lily. She had cropped up during the summer after third year. Apparently one hex in a DADA had him falling head over heels in love with her. This year, he had done something that had her even more mad than usual. 'But Snape was being a git. He keeps trying to get Regulus to join his little cult. I mean, really Lily just walked in at the wrong time, she didn't hear the crap he was spewing before the DADA exam. Or the stuff he was saying before that. All she saw was me and Sirius-'

'Sirius and I.'

 _'Sirius and I,_ getting a little payback and she went off the deep end. I had ears the size of this,' James' hands went far outside the realm of normal. 'Sometimes I think she doesn't even like me.'

Remus hated to tell James that was actually probably true, so he didn't. Instead he listened to him lament about Lily some more before herding him towards the dining room table so the rest of the Potters could hear about James' adventures at Hogwarts.

'Did you two end up together then?' Mr Potter asked as James finished relaying his story a second time.

'Not yet. But we will.'

Remus loved James' endless optimism. When Lily had turned him down the first time he didn't give up, instead he grew even more determined and went out for what he wanted a different way. He sometimes wished he was like James in that way.

Dinner went past with Mr Potter relaying James with his latest experiment. One which he was expecting to test out on James' hair at the first available opportunity. That, of course, led to moaning on James' part and the request to use Remus', quite fine thank you James, hair instead.

It was late by the time they all ran out of things to tell each other. James was the first to wave his parents goodnight, making plans for tomorrow so he wouldn't be cornered by his dad. He tried to coerce Remus up too, no doubt to try and get him to clean up the explosion that went off as soon as he set his trunk down. Something he usually would have been able to get out of had Mrs Potter not thought it was a great idea for Remus and James to have some bonding time.

He eyed the mess as soon as he stepped in, thinking back to the clean floor and made bed that had been there that morning. James didn't even try to pick up after himself, collapsing onto his sheets and kicking a few books over to Remus.

'You don't have to clean it up you know,' James said, as soon as Remus even tried to reach for one of the dirty robes. 'Mum said she'll get them in the morning. Besides, you have books to collect.'

Which was true. One of the traditions of James coming home was Remus getting his school books. It had started off with Remus curiously glancing over the first year books James discarded his first day back home. As soon as he was caught James moved the rest of them into Remus' room, telling him to 'have at it'. He had quite the collection now James was in fifth year.

He devoured those in the first few days, James even giving Remus some of his notes when he asked about this or that. It was what James liked to call the adjustment period, the time in which Remus was used to keeping to himself and James was used to having people around them. They needed a few days to get used to it being the two of them again.

James eventually got Remus away from his books, coercing him into helping him train for Quidditch. Well, James said he needed help, Remus knew he just needed someone to play with because he was bored and had no one else to talk to.

James had them up high, higher than Remus was comfortable with when he finally told him to throw the snitch. Of course, since they had to share a broom since Remus refused to ride one alone, he was holding on for dear life as James chased at the speed of light.

He hated flying. Hated it with a passion. Not only because there was still that part of him that still cringed at the idea of doing something a normal wizard would. But because the idea that there was nothing beneath them to catch them should they fall, and James' reckless streak, gave him nightmares.

He sometimes thanked that he had heightened senses, this time in particular since it meant he had an excuse to get off James' death trap. He knew that if he hadn't have heard the door it would have went unanswered in general. The Potters were enjoying the scant summer sun, drinking lemonade a few metres below them, and James never answered it even when he was in the house, besides it was Remus' job. So he scampered down, cast a dirty look to James' broom and went to greet the rather handsome boy at the front door.

'Does James live here?'

Definitely handsome. His voice was nice too, with a smooth tone that sounded like it had never went through a weird phase like James and his. All pale and cheekbones, he should have been one of those arrogant boys that just ordered others around. Instead he was shuffling about looking two minutes from bolting.

'Yeah, wait here,' Remus said, running to the back garden to fetch James.

The visitor, as it turned out, was Sirius, one of James' friends from school. How Remus knew was because the first thing James did when he saw the boy was shout his name and squeal like a pig as he moved in for a hug.

James dragged Sirius in without even letting go, motioning Remus to attend to their guest as they moved outside. He did as he was bid, joining them again to hear Mr and Mrs Potter start in on one of their famous rants. He'd heard them once or twice, usually after they had picked up or dropped James off at King's Cross. He'd heard about Sirius through both James and the elder Potters as a result, all of whom had nothing but nice things to say about him. His parents on the other hand were a different story. Cruel, prejudiced and always turned their noses up when the Potters talked to them. The Potters just looked for something new to complain about now, and it looked like Sirius had given them the golden opportunity.

'I can't believe it,' James said, mussing his hair up even further than usual. 'They disowned you, just like that?'

'Well, not just like that,' Sirius shrugged. 'They wanted me to put my lot in with Snape and Malfoy. They kept going on about family pride and how I was a muggle loving disgrace, and I just shouted back. Before I knew it I was packing my bag and hearing mum screech about not coming back. I don't care, I don't want to go back, Reg can have everything I just...'

'I just can't believe it.' The doe eyes were predictable after that, James trying to plead, not that secretly, with his parents for Sirius to say. Remus thought it was a good job the Potters already had a soft spot for Sirius, and went back in to sort his things out. He knew the answer was going to be yes.

He had his books sorted into piles ready to be moved, and already changed the bedding when Mr Potter led the other two boys up.

'Two bedrooms three boys, how do you want to work this James?'

Remus held up his first pile of books, 'It's okay, I've already started moving my things.'

'What? No, Rem,' James moved past Remus, trying to put the books back on their shelves. 'Dad tell him he can't move out.'

'It's fine,' Remus reassured, knowing Mr Potter was the one with the power here no matter what James thought. 'The cellar has more than enough room for me, besides, this way I won't bloody two pairs of sheets at the next full moon.'

He saw that peak Sirius' attention, the sweep over predictable as he looked at him in a new light. Mr Potter didn't have the same curiosity, having been through more than fifty full moons over the years. He thought the man would take his side, it was logical after all, and he knew it was a pain having to move him when he was still weak after transforming. However, 'You're not sleeping in the cellar Remus.'

James shot him a triumphant look.

'But there will be some moving around. One of you will have to share.' He told them to sort it out between themselves, going to get something to eat in the meantime.

'I'm more than happy to-'

'No Rem,' James snapped, shoving more books unorganised onto shelves. 'Sirius and I will share. We do it all year, it'll be no different now.' He glanced back, some silent conversation and upturned mouths belying how much mischief they were expecting to create with this arrangement passing between them. 'There, it's sorted. Go call dad will you Sirius.'

Remus convinced them to at least take his bed, the only thing the Potters caved to since Remus looked like he wasn't going to give up without letting go of something. He had a perfectly acceptable bed in the cellar, one which he could bring up himself while Mr Potter sorted Sirius out. He knew there was a camp bed they had in reserve, he would just use that for after moons.

He had to put up with James complaining through the whole move, trying to order his dad not to listen to Remus, but inevitably they got Sirius and his stuff settled in. He left them with strange noises and bangs echoing through the house, going down to start on dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

It was hard to sleep with someone else in the house. For one, he was conscious there was someone not family there. He didn't know if it was his canine instincts of just general unease that had him tossing through the night. He missed his pillow, felt possessive over the stupidest things. He couldn't help thinking about this being his time with James, time that was being taken away from him by someone who had him all year. It wasn't fair. He kept thinking about how things would be different now. James was already only hanging around him because he had no one else to play with. Sirius here now meant that James didn't need his little play friend anymore, he had a real friend.

He should have known it was too good to last.

A couple of bangs and loud sniggers woke him the next morning. The noises continued over breakfast, James and Sirius messing about and making plans to play Quidditch all day. Something Remus couldn't join in with because he hated Quidditch and there was no way he would be able to keep up with two people who were good at the sport, he barely kept up with James ordinarily.

Instead, he decided to get the summer really started by preparing James for going back to school. Sure, it was the beginning of summer and he had weeks to get all this stuff done. But people didn't understand that James wasn't an ordinary boy. He had to plan these things, prepare, otherwise it would never get done.

Like his hair. It had to be cut, and fast. This morning he swore he saw half a Berties Bott every flavour bean stuck in there, and more tangles than was good for it. Which meant a trip to the barber. The appointment was easy to set up. Getting James there on the other hand was the true battle.

He bought some muggle sweets, hoping the bribe would be enough. Just to be on the safe side he even made an appointment for Sirius, maybe the thought of going through the trauma of losing hair with a friend would lessen the blow.

He also went over to the shops to buy cleaning supplies. One James was bad enough, two, and he didn't even want to know the mess that would be there at the end of the summer.

When he got back James and Sirius were in the living room, the two of them hunched over books and looking for all the world to be doing school work. If they hadn't been sniggering Remus would have actually believed them.

He hid the sweets as he unpacked the bleach, trying to listen in and decide whether he should intervene or not. When he heard the word 'goo' uttered he decided it was time to herd the two of them out and towards the town. They had a full two hours, but who knew what could happen in that time.

'I made an appointment at the barbers,' He said in passing and the effect was immediate. James was up and making excuses to his room before Remus got 'barbers' out of his mouth.

He made sure to block the door, herding James as best he could to the front door and to his shoes. It took bargaining, bribing and the enticement of sweets to get him out the front door. Sirius was laughing the whole way there. At least until they got into the barbers and heard his own name mentioned.

'Wow, no. I am not getting this cut.' He even stroked his hair like it was the best thing around. Something he had to disagree with. It was shaggy, long and looking like it didn't know what a brush was. The only reason it looked nice was because James was next to him, if it came to James and a homeless person in terms of grooming the homeless person would always win. He blamed the Potter genes. But that wasn't to say Sirius was neat himself, the only reason Remus hadn't found a problem with it yesterday was because, firstly, he was a stranger who Remus didn't honestly think would be hanging around for long, and two, because it had been tied up.

'There's sherbet in it for you if you sit in the chair and let the guy do his work.'

James was more on board now he knew Sirius was getting the chop too. He happily stuffed his mouth as he enticed Sirius into the chair.

'I'm not getting it cut,' Sirius hissed, more to James than him this time.

'But it looks stupid,' Remus pointed out, watching James go into hysterics.

Sirius grabbed his hair defensively. 'What would you know about it?'

'He's using it as a sign of rebellion against his parents,' James said, taking on his teacher tone. The one he usually took when Remus asked about something from his books. He thought it was a superiority thing. Remus just found it annoying for any reason. 'They want him to have nice soft locks that are pure-blood short, so Sirius is growing his out.'

Remus didn't understand teenage rebellion at all. 'But if you're not living with them anymore, what's the point? I mean, you're with us now, and your hair looks stupid.'

Sirius floundered for a bit, long enough for James to get called over to the chair, Finally he just huffed, 'Fine,' and went quietly to his own fate.

He barely recognised them when they were done. James was always a hopeless case, but at least he was a semi neat hopeless case. Sirius on the other hand, well, if Remus thought he was handsome with tangles and hair hanging over his face he was something else with an actual style to his hair. It was still long, reaching the top of his neck in careful waves. It was still capable of hanging in front of his face, but this was in an artful way. One that had Remus wondering why he was so focused on Sirius. He'd never... it was weird.

He threw the sweets at them as a reward, trying to get a hold of himself as he led them back to the Potters house.

Mr and Mrs Potter were overjoyed with their new looks. Well, Sirius'. James was always a lost cause. They even got the camera out and made them pose for a few photo's, telling them they would want photos like this when they were older. He could tell through the complaints they were secretly loving the attention.

Mrs Potter finally let them go when she had found the one photo she liked. She had Remus help her find a frame, using a it as a way to get him alone for a little talk.

'You're going to have to excuse Sirius if he says something offensive Remus,' She started. 'He comes from a different lifestyle to us, and I know he seems more open minded than other wizards but he still comes from a pure-blood family. He just needs some time to get used to our way of life.'

'Way of life?'

The pointed look at him had him realising she meant the werewolf thing. She was right too. Over the years he had seen many of the kids he had been stuck in that containment centre with on the streets or around the Potters for gatherings. All of them were with their families and none of them looked well. He'd even seen some families without their werewolf, the mention of them over dinner resulting in a tale Remus had nightmares about. The pure-bloods had taken the idea of having a werewolf helper seriously, they didn't give them luxuries and treated them mostly like animals.

In comparison Remus was living a five star life. He had his own room, meals three times a day- sometimes more if the Potters decided he wasn't looking healthy enough- he got sweets, alone time and really only had the option of cleaning up around the house. Actually, more often than not, Mrs Potter would tell him to leave this or that alone, sending him off to do something else while she did it herself.

He could see why Sirius might think it weird. But so far Sirius hadn't even mentioned the half breed word or looked at him oddly. He listened to Mrs Potter say more about giving Sirius some lenience, before the pretence of finding a frame ran out and she sent him off.

He had meant to go to his room for a while and read. James had Sirius now, he didn't need him to mess around with. But when he got there the book he wanted, one of James' discarded fifth year DADA books, it was gone. He thought he had left it in another room of the house just as his nose picked up a new smell in his room. One that wasn't James' or the Potters. It was familiar, earthy with a hint of dog. Sirius.

He fought the stupid canine urge to pee on everything, cursing the moon for being so close and bringing all these instincts out. He picked another book instead, curling up next to the window and enjoying the waning summer sun.

The next week was difficult for Remus. The moon made him crazy without his house being upended, and Sirius wasn't helping things along. He hogged the bathroom every morning, and even when Remus got there before him it seemed living with four boys at Hogwarts had evaporated any pretence of boundaries since he came in anyway. Remus found himself cursing more than once when Sirius came out dripping all over their clean floors with nothing but a towel around his waist. Handsome as he was, that didn't give him the right to make a mess. Then there was the smell, Remus was hissing his way through the house by the time the full moon came around. Sirius was everywhere, venturing into Remus' room more than once without permission, and he didn't know why but it felt like another canine was invading his life and driving him mad.

He ended up holing himself away in the kitchen, willing the hours down to nightfall. Any other time of the month he was wishing the moon away, but when it was the actual day of the full he just wanted it over with.

Thankfully James had taken Sirius out to the muggle village for the day. Or not since the very thought of Sirius taking more time with James away from him had him in even more of a state. This was his time, not Sirius'. It wasn't right.

'They should be back soon,' Mr Potter said, appearing out of nowhere.

'Right.'

A few chocolate bars appeared before his nose, the smell appealing to his stomach but he still kept his hands to himself. He knew he would just be throwing them up later, good chocolate should be kept until after he was finished tearing himself apart. So Mr Potter took the bars away and sat next to him on the kitchen floor.

'Can you move Sirius into my room tonight. I won't be sleeping there, and it seems a waste to leave it empty.'

Mr Potter looked like he wanted to argue, then sighed, nodding his agreement. 'But only until you're better. And only because I heard the two of them conspiring last night. There's something wrong with that boy.' Remus knew he wasn't talking about Sirius.

Strangely Sirius was the one to complain this time, telling Mr Potter he didn't want to move, which prompted Mr Potter to reveal he knew the two of them had been plotting. The move had been quick, just switching Remus' covers for Sirius', but of course there was still some arguments.

'I said you could have the room.'

James was smirking from his open doorway, watching all of them bustle about in the hallway. 'It's only temporary Sirius. Remus wouldn't really give you his room. He's not that nice.'

Sirius sent him the look Remus was thinking, they all knew that wasn't true. Remus would gladly give Sirius his room, had even tried to. James was just trying to make things easier.

'Where's he even going, I mean, you're just going to have to move everything back.'

James rolled his eyes. 'It's a sheet and pillow, not your trunk. And he's going to the cellar, you know how werewolves work don't you Black?'

Sirius paled, looking Remus over again. 'You mean he's-? Right.'

Remus thought his reaction odd. 'Your family have a werewolf, you've seen transformations.' He remembered the day the Blacks had came. The parents tall, slim and beautiful, with two boys stood rod like beside them. It was hard to connect one of these boys to the one in front of him.

'Oh, we got rid of him after a year. He- er...' He was guessing it was the thunderous look no doubt on his face that had Sirius shutting up. 'So, how long will you be down there?'

'Four days,' James said, his smirk turning into a full blown smile, 'What's the matter Black, you look like someone's just stole your broom.'

'Shut up Potter.'

The cellar was actually pretty large for the small house the Potters had. It was empty, mostly, and would have been an ordinarily nice place. Somewhere to store anything and everything were it not for the long claw marks imbedded into the walls and floor everywhere he looked. There were some sweet wrappers from last time he was down, along with the head of an old bear his wolf sometimes liked to chew on when it got bored of Remus' limbs.

'I'll get you one of those giant chocolate bars,' James promised, much like he did every full moon, as he led him down. 'And Sirius will bring you one of your books. That'll put a smile on your face.'

'Sure.'

The transformation was just as bad as it always was. His bones broke, reshaped and broke again when his wolf wanted something to munch on. His human side turned off around the time his shoulder broke, so he enjoyed a night of bliss, which was broken when he turned back. Of course he blacked out again as soon as the pain hit.

He came back around with his leg in a splint and his head bandaged. He only knew this because his hands always went to his face first. Mr Potter cautioned him against moving, handing him a glass that scorched his throat on the way down. Apparently there was nothing too bad with him, except his leg which had been a wrong angle when Mr Potter came down to check on him.

He expected James to make some remark about it, he always had something funny to say when he busted himself up. It was just his way, trying to cheer him up after a bad night. But James wasn't there, he couldn't smell him or anything.

'He's not here,' Mr Potter said. 'He was trying to be the first one down this morning and tripped over Sirius' broom. His arm's broken, your mother's taken him to Mungos.'

Sirius, he should have known.

He took a nap shortly after that, waking only when Mrs Potter woke him to change his bandages. He wanted to ask after James, but moving to let her heal him had him feeling dizzy. He figured it would be better keeping his mouth shut than being sick all over her.

It was nightfall when quiet sniggering woke him up. James and Sirius were sitting beside his bed playing some muggle board game, and it looked like Sirius was winning. He watched them mess about for a while, trying to suss out Sirius some more. He hadn't actually had a real conversation with the boy, and now the moon was out of the way he could see how he had been unfair to Sirius. He hadn't given him a chance. He remembered all the tall tales James would tell about him from school, sometimes wishing he was with them as they created mischief. He remembered James telling him about how funny, smart and witty Sirius was, and how Remus had mentioned more than once that he should give up on Lily and go for Sirius instead.

Sirius had made four jokes about James' hair by the time they noticed he was awake. His Sirius watching now obsolete when the boy decided to make an excuse and scramble out of the cellar.

James didn't seem to mind, grinning like a madman and hopping up next to Remus. 'You should have seen my arm Rem,' It was in a sling and looking as good as it had been last Remus had seen it. 'It was all oozing blood and there was bone sticking out. I think Sirius may have gagged a bit when he saw it.'

'Did not!' Rang down.

James ignored it, telling Remus that he wouldn't be the only one doted on this full moon. According to the nurses he was to rest the bone for a few days to make sure it set right. Remus thought it okay, but when he showed James his leg they both agreed that he had the worse end of the stick.

They played the rest of Sirius and James' discarded game before James' stomach required attention. He kicked James out when the smell of Mrs Potter's cooking became too tempting to ignore, waving off any offers to be carried up to the table. He wasn't well enough to move, but he was well enough for the chocolate bars hiding in James' pockets and in Mr Potters hands when he came to call them up.

He got another nap in, well, more than a nap since he woke up to Mrs Potter cleaning his wounds and James complaining about spending a day indoors.

'Think of poor Remus James. Even if it was sunny he couldn't go out.'

James moaned, rather loudly for someone who was meant to be keeping quiet for his sick werewolf. 'Still, that doesn't mean I should be indoors all day. All day, come on mum, it's just rain.'

'And you broke your arm yesterday. You and Sirius can play down here. Besides, I don't like how much you two have been keeping to yourselves.'

'We haven't been keeping to ourselves.' The bed dipped, James notably climbing on top of him and collapsing to his side. He felt a finger pushing his cheek 'Have we Rem?'

The slap Mrs Potter aimed at those fingers was felt more than heard, shooing James away and telling him to behave.

'He's awake you know, he's just putting it on to pry. You've become such an old woman Rem, always wanting to know the family gossip.'

'Says the boy who thought jumping over a broom that can fly was a good idea,' He croaked, peaking one eye open to be faced with a nest of unruly hair.


	4. Chapter 4

He was able to move back into his old room after two more days. His leg was mostly healed, just a fair bit of limping on his part to move it, which meant that while James had been trying to include him in his summer fun, it wasn't likely to happen with the pace he was walking at. In the end he just told James to go on ahead, he didn't mind, not really, and he had all of his old school books to go through anyway.

The summer passed in rather the same fashion. He would be okay for three weeks, keeping to himself and letting James and Sirius cause all manners of mischief in the Potter house, and only telling them off it they made too much of a mess. Or he would stand guard while they flew outside. Or bribed them with sweets if he needed to get James new clothes since he'd outgrown the last pair of jeans he owned. All of it was fine. Then that fourth week would pop up with its stupid full moon and he'd be back to a jealous canine pining over his wayward master.

He started to fear himself when that time came, the second moon proving worse than the first as he not only resented Sirius for being in the house but actually growled at the boy. He remembered the way Sirius had grown impossibly pale, his eyes widening until every fleck of grey and blue could be made out. Remus hadn't meant to do it. The reason for why had been stupid. Juvenile. He'd been coming in to clean up James' room on behest of Mrs Potter who 'would not go into that pigsty until there was some floor visible,' prompting her son to bribe Remus with chocolate to make said floor appear.

It was actually a mess, one Remus cringed at when he thought back now. Clothes were scattered everywhere, even on the windowsill, and none of them were clean by far. They mostly looked to be James', but every now and then Remus spotted something that was distinctly Sirius'. Out of the two of them it looked like at least one knew what tidy meant. Parchment, ink bottles and quills were like landmines, hiding under week old boxer shorts and waiting to pierce Remus' newly healed skin. He didn't even want to know what kind of potions the two of them had cooked up or stole, the remains being layered on the walls and clothes, basically everywhere in sight.

James had been lounging on his bed, the only real clean thing there- which was a stretch since the sheets still smelled like something had died in them. Sirius was on the one opposite, the two of them throwing paper cranes to and fro lazily, which soon stopped when Remus made himself known.

'Good man,' James had crowed, tossing the chocolate bribe over. 'Just clean up around the door. Mum'll do the rest when she gets sick enough.'

Remus sighed but picked up the first article of clothing nearest to him. 'You know you're perfectly capable of cleaning up after yourself. I know it's my job, but you could just make it easier.'

James frowned, no doubt reading into the sentence for what it was, Remus telling him Mrs Potter wasn't going to get a chance to yell at James again since it would be clean by that evening. 'Just the door Rem. Between not being able to use magic and being grounded for that Gnome stunt I have nothing else left. Just let me feel some semblance of chaos. Please.'

He didn't deem that with a response, getting to work on the ink and potion mesh threatening to take his toes off. It took him ten minutes to pick away the gunk. Another ten to get the stain off, and then another for it to look like floor again. By the time he returned to picking up James' mess his arms were aching and his nose hurting from the fumes. He hated being this close to the moon.

His sense of smell came back to him the closer he got to James' bed- he was half hoping it would stay gone until he was done. Three more tackled stains and he mistakenly picked up something that he wasn't meant to. Something he didn't know he wasn't meant to until Sirius was snatching it out of his hands and telling him not to bother with it.

It was just an old shirt, one which he thought he remembered from James' wardrobe. Or maybe his own, since he sometimes he got James' hand-me-downs when the Potters didn't want to throw clothes out needlessly. The pattern on front was worn, and below the definitive stink of Sirius he could smell James and himself on it. But of course it was the Sirius smell that had him reacting. One which tugged at the primal resources of his brain. One which he'd come across a lot doing James' laundry and not so often doing his own.

Come. Which really shouldn't have been a big deal. He'd made the joke himself that James should move on from Lily and just go for Sirius he was that devoted to him. But he was in his irrational time of the month, not thinking straight, and all he could think was that Sirius had got come on James' shirt. He was defiling his human, which would be bad enough if he wasn't an uninvited guest with no concept of boundaries and taking all of his time with James away.

So he growled. He barely noticed it, and honestly thought it was something else with the way it sounded completely inhuman. When he realised it was himself the damage had been done, Sirius was rigid in fear. Thankfully James was there, telling Sirius to be more careful with his wanking next time and nearly shoving Remus out the door.

He blamed it on the moon. He apologised to the whole family that night he felt so bad. He would have apologised to Sirius privately too but he was afraid of what he might do, and of what Sirius might do to him. He'd completely overstepped a line, one which had him retreating into his cellar days early to avoid the rest of the family and more fallout.

August came with a stern owl. Two of them, delivering letters to James and Sirius at the breakfast table. Remus thanked the owls for their interruption. Things had been bad since the growling incident, Sirius not even trying to get along with him anymore- not that he made much effort in the first place. He avoided even looking at Remus through their meal, instead keeping his eyes on his plate or James who was complaining, loudly, about how there was nothing to do.

The letters came with results of their OWL's. Results that had Mr and Mrs Potter whooping in the kitchen and saying things like James wasn't going to be a layabout after all.

'Some bloody vote of confidence that is mum,' James yelled, sharing a look of disbelief with Sirius.

The letters also came with a list of books and supplies the two of them would be needing for the upcoming year. Remus poured over the book list when he was given the letters. He'd finished James' current ones, and despite the fact they were mostly biased towards wizards was looking forward to their follow ups. Or would have been had James not been dropping some of his favourite classes.

'You know, it's probably not a good idea to drop Care of Magical Creatures when your magical creature at home will need to be cared for at some point,' Remus pointed out, handing the letters over to their original owners.

'True,' James agreed. 'But my magical creature is perfectly capable of being cared for on his own. And, furthermore, if my magical creature should need outside care than the care he provides himself then something drastic must be wrong and therefore I must seek professional advice elsewhere as would be proper. So don't even try and guilt me into taking that class for another two years Rem.'

With the letters came the customary trip to Diagon Alley. Thankfully this was something Remus could beg out of. Not only had a bad experience the first several times scarred him for life, but the Potters believed it best to keep Remus at home while James was out to suss out where the smell, that usually cropped up around the fifth week of James' stay, was coming from.

They left the following morning, the four of them clattering out the house with more raised voices than was wise. Mr Potter came back twice in the few minutes they had left, each time greeting Remus at the door as he snatched his forgotten hat and James' forgotten shoe.

Finally as the house grew quiet, Remus ventured back into James' room to start a real clean up. He hadn't been back in here since the growling incident. James had tried to coerce him back in for games and such, and the few times Sirius had passed him in the hall he had mentioned to him not to be a stranger.

It took some effort, and mental preparation for whatever may be in there. Thoughts of what he last found were pushed to the back of his mind. It wasn't his business, and it wasn't near the full moon so he should be okay.

He should be. That didn't mean he was. It hurt more than it should to smell Sirius all over James' stuff. Thankfully it wasn't on any more of James' clothes, and where it was Remus just kept away from.

It took him an hour to have the room looking okay. Okay being what he was willing to leave it at since it was the first time in a long time since Remus was left alone for the day. He did a few other chores, not wanting it to look like he spent the whole time alone doing nothing, before he found a nice patch of sunlight and took a nap.

The door slamming woke him up, James bounding over with a half dripping ice cream running down his arm. 'Quick Rem before it's gone.'

It was his favourite flavour, chocolate with more chocolate on top, and wizarding so the flavour was even more intense. He was sad to say it didn't last two minutes, licking the rest of it off his fingers as he followed James over to where Sirius had picked up some take out.

'Where's Mr and Mrs Potter?' he didn't hear them, or even smell them, around the house. Since James and Sirius didn't look worried, well, James didn't look worried, he figured it wasn't a big deal to ask.

'Grimmauld place.' At Remus' blank look, 'Sirius' house. _Mum_ and _Dad_ wanted to give Sirius' parents a chance to pay for his stuff. Of course they said no, so now Mum's having the mother of all rants at Mrs Black. Dad brought us back, but I think he went to back Mum up. Probably a good thing too, your Mum's scary,' He said to Sirius, the boy looking more pale the longer they talked about it.

'You should see her when she's really mad.'

Mr and Mrs Potter came back after a while, Mrs Potter a whirlwind as she cursed and said things Remus only half understood. He got the gist of it after Mr Potter explained. The Blacks had outright told Sirius to get out of his sight, that he wasn't welcome there and shouldn't have even came back at all. Even Regulus, who was Sirius' younger brother, had thrown the last of Sirius' stuff out and told him to get lost. It was about then that Sirius and James made their escape. Also around about then that Mrs Potter really let her tongue loose.

The meal that evening was uneasy. Every now and then Mrs Potter would start in on another one of Mrs Blacks unfortunate traits. Mr Potter would try and calm her down, but that had her going on an even bigger rant about how she shouldn't be told to calm down, and how she had every right to start on those people. James was a nervous wreck. He never dealt well with his parents fighting, or any kind of conflict really if he wasn't a part of it. He was more the peacemaker of the family like his dad, and was on a constant stream of jokes and memories to try and cheer Sirius up. Sirius, he was probably the most quiet Remus had ever seen him, and that was saying something since he barely talked while Remus was around anyway. He was sinking into his chair, fiddling with his food more than eating it.

He excused himself without so much as eating anything, the leftovers being put in the fridge for later. As soon as Sirius was gone James let it out to his mother. 'I know you don't like them, but you could at least keep some of your views to yourself mum. They're still his family.' He was gone soon after that, no doubt to reassure Sirius that the Potters would always be here for him.

Remus left too. James' words were scathing, and Mr Potter was more than happy to start explaining why when his son left the room. So he retreated to his room hoping for an easy night. He should have known his luck wasn't that good.

Sirius was on his bed when he got in, James pacing the room and trying to form three apologies into one. For his parents. For how the day went. For Sirius' life in general. Giving up only when he saw Remus standing in the doorway, a stranger in his own room.

'Rem you know what it's like. Tell Sirius he's going to be fine.'

'I'm going to be fine James,' Sirius said before Remus could even open his mouth.

That didn't stop James from insisting that Remus tell him still. 'I mean, you were fine when you came to stay with us. I mean, it took a while but-'

'I'm grateful for everything you've done for me,' Remus said at last. 'And you're everything I could ask from a family. But you're still not my parents James. Blood is still blood at the end of the day, it doesn't just change because you want it to. But, Sirius, my family isn't yours, and just because they're your family it doesn't mean what they do is always right. The Potters love you, you're going to be fine.'

James huffed, 'See, told you he'd know what to say.'

'Yeah.' It was probably the first time in a while since Sirius had voluntarily looked him in the eye. 'Thanks Remus.'

Believing the matter settled James joined Sirius on Remus' bed. Not having the reservations Sirius had he kicked his feet up and asked why Remus was still standing in the doorway. He thought the matter of him trying to cheer Sirius up dropped when he finally joined them, opting to read while James was quiet for once.

But as was his luck, 'What were your parents like?' He knew the question was directed at him, the pure curiosity on both Sirius and James' face belying the innocence it was asked with. James tried again after a moment. 'Did they mind that you were a werewolf?'

Remus shrugged, that night came back in flashes, the wolves, his parents, his dad. His dad, he still didn't know what happened to him. Whether it had been a slow or quick death. Whether he had gotten bitten like Remus and executed afterwards with the rest of the werewolves. Whatever happened, he hoped his dad didn't suffer much.

A poke in his leg brought him back. 'They died the night I got bit. I think my mum tried to fend the wolves off. She was outside the cupboard they put me in. Well, some of her was.' James cleared his throat, looking seconds away from giving a hug, something, for some reason, Remus didn't want to happen. Not right now. It wasn't James' fault this happened to him. Besides, Sirius was watching, he couldn't afford to look weak in front of another- he was about to think wolf again. His instincts were in serious need of re-evaluation. 'Like I said though, I have you now. It's fine.'

'They must have been nice,' James decided. 'To do that for you. And I remember when you first came here, I sometimes heard you crying. I don't think anyone would do that if their parents were awful.'

'I guess.' He agreed, not really remembering anything about them other than that night.


	5. Chapter 5

The atmosphere in the Potter house was strained the rest of the summer. After the Black escapade James and Sirius became closer than ever. They spent nearly every waking hour together, plotting and having fun, trying to forget the fiasco that had Sirius permanently becoming a part of the Potter household. Remus couldn't say he didn't slightly resent it, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything either. It wasn't his place.

All too soon September came, the two boys being shipped off for another year at Hogwarts. The day they left was a flurry of shouts and clatters, not unlike the time they went to Diagon Alley. Only this time there was magic and heavy trunks involved.

They were late setting off, Mrs Potter's voice the most heard thing as she yelled again and again for her family to hurry up. Mr Potter didn't seem that bothered about the whole thing, too proud of his muggle contraption, his car, that he was allowed to use to transport the two boys to King Cross.

When the trunks were stowed in the boot he was engulfed in his last James Potter hug for a good few months. Spending the time taking one last feel, smell, look at the boy who meant so much to him. They untangled themselves when Mrs Potter yelled for a seventh time they were going to be late, James sparing a 'I'll miss you,' before he was hurried into the car.

Sirius was the only one dawdling after that, Mrs Potter starting in on Mr Potters map since he didn't have the route planned out even though they take the same one every year. He was fiddling with his hands, his eyes skittish, skimming over Remus' face and away. He didn't blame him for the lack of eye contact, what he did wonder about was why he was still standing there. At least until one slim hand thrust out between them.

'I think we're coming back for Christmas,' Sirius mumbled.

Remus took the hand, fighting his canine instinct not to, and said goodbye as quick as he could. The hand was gone as soon as it appeared, Sirius disappearing into the car and leaving Remus to take another summer nap before staring dinner.

It was always the same when James left, life seeming duller. While this last summer had been kind of unexpected and invasive, James just had a way of filling the house that, now it was gone, left Remus to fall back on his routine for something to do.

That wasn't to say they didn't hear from James at all. They got owls from him every month, Mrs Potter sending howlers back when more owls came from his professors about what he had really been up to besides classes.

Thankfully nothing life threatening had happened in the months leading up to December. James had sneaked into Hogsmeade and bought a load of exploding snap cards. Ones he matched up and left at unexpected places around Hogwarts halls for people to stumble on and get a fright.

At the Potter house Christmas was coming up, which meant decorations and preparations for James and Sirius to come home. There would be other Potters coming too, Mr Potter's brother along with Mrs Potter's, his wife and their three children. It was a lot of moving around and arguing, on the Potters behalf at least.

Things only got worse when Mrs Potter announced she would be coming with her two children too. Meaning that the Potter house would be more than full on Christmas.

'They can stay in Remus' room,' Mrs Potter said, her voice carrying up to Remus' room. 'He's moved around too much, I don't want him kicked out. James is just going to have to suffer through it if he has any complaints.'

'It's not James I'm worried about. You've seen what Remus is like with Sirius.' The conversation dipped as their voices lowered before, 'Then again, maybe close proximity might help them. Sirius is a nice boy, Remus too. It's probably just some misunderstanding.'

'Well, in any situation I'm not having Remus go into James' room. You know what my sister's like, even if we did give her Remus' room she'd turn her nose up.'

'We're going to have to transfigure some things in the living room...'

By the time James and Sirius arrived home everything was sorted. The beds had been moved, the furniture transfigured and blow up beds blown up. Twenty hugs later and they were allowed upstairs to unload their trunks in Remus' room.

James was quite happy with the move, saying, 'It smells so much nicer in here,' before dumping all of his stuff out to find this one book he wanted. Remus mourned his floor later. 'So what's the deal with the move?'

'Your aunt's coming.'

James paled, the last time his aunt came replaying behind his eyes. Mrs Potters sister was family, James' family, but like Sirius could hate his family James could hate his too. Mrs Potters sister was snobbish at best. She was a pure blood elitist who had moved to France when she met her husband. They only ever saw her for family occasions, funerals, weddings that kind of thing. For her to come to a common Christmas was rare, which meant that she had something important to tell them.

The last time she had seen them was for her father's funeral, James being ten at the time. Not only had she degraded Remus in front of the whole family, but she had done the same to Mr Potter and James too, saying they were muggle lovers who would find their magic being tainted by the amount of dirt they let in their lives.

Needless to say James didn't like her, and told Sirius he would hate her too.

James had decided that, although his cousins and aunt were getting his room, he wasn't letting them have his quilt which had sadly been left behind. He staged a robbery. Sirius and him giggling to themselves as they sneaked past Mr and Mrs Potters room.

'So what are your uncles like?' Sirius asked the next day, hours before they were to arrive.

'Okay. They don't really mind the whole werewolf thing, which is good for Remus. And last time they were here they taught me how to play poker so, they're pretty cool.'

Mr Potter's brother came first, the younger of the two he was a delight of a man who was happy in his bachelorhood. As soon as he was through the door he laundered James with sweets and asked Remus if he had seen any nice women on the Potters street. Tales of wooing girls and dating advice followed.

By the time Mrs Potter's side of the family came they were all in good spirits. Strangely, they arrived together, all huddled together on the front porch. As soon as the door was open Mrs Potter was strutting past him, handing him her coat and snapping at him to get a drink. Her children were no better, their English perfect but putting on the French ignorance to snigger and point behind their hands.

She started on James as soon as introductions had to be made. Starting with his hair and, somehow, going on to his school results. How she knew about them was a mystery, one Remus didn't have the patience to think about as Mrs Potter's kids started stating, loudly, what they wanted when Mr and Mrs Potter kicked it.

Sirius had been hiding in the kitchen, forced out as Mrs Potter tried to get her son out of the firing zone. He looked afraid, and probably should have been since Mrs Potter's sister mumbled, 'It's true,' before completely changing her attitude. The snobbish air was gone, replaced with a kind woman who shook Sirius' hand and asked him how he was.

James looked as shocked as Remus. The two of them watched the spectacle for a while, listening as she inquired after Sirius' parents, and when that failed his life in general. It reached a point where they had to rescue him. If only because James couldn't stand listening to his cousins call his hair a rats nest again and needed to escape. They made some excuse about checking the dinner and retreated to the kitchen where the male Potters were talking about an evening poker game.

The entertainment of seeing each other after so long wore off as tiredness set in. Mrs Potter's sister sure enough got James' room. Something she seemed pleased with until she realised it was for her and her family. The kids were unhappy too, groaning about the unfairness of sleeping on an airbed while Remus got a bed in the next room.

'It's not like he needs it.' One of them sneered. 'A dog bed would do.'

Remus stopped the growl burning in the back of his throat. He hated that the full moon was so near Christmas this year. 'For your information I'm a wolf, not a dog. And from experience we like the feel of beds. They help us sleep at night.'

He heard a choking sound behind him, James and Sirius biting their lips and looking three seconds from laughing. Mrs Potter's sister on the other hand was appalled that Remus had opened his mouth. She looked about to strike him, which wouldn't be the first time such a thing happened, when James pushed in front of him stating, 'It's not like it's a five star luxury bed. We gave his to Sirius, he sleeps on the one we used to keep in the cellar.'

She was even more appalled at that it turned out. 'Infected materials' being let around the open air instead of contained below where they belonged. They left her calling Mrs Potter up, James dragging Remus into his room and closing the door with a defeated sigh.

All three boys deflated, dealing with Mrs Potter's sister never an easy feat.

The next day was worse, in Remus' opinion than the introduction. Sirius was swept away almost as soon as he woke to talks of politics and magic from Mrs Potter's sister. The children seemed in awe of him, one of them even asking if they could grow their hair out like Sirius'.

'They know he's disowned right?' Remus asked around noon. Mr and Mrs Potter's brothers had decided it was a fun day to take their rightful siblings out for a drink, well, walk they said, but Remus knew from previous experience that walk meant drink. They wouldn't be back until late, and since James was too young to go with them, he had resigned himself to a day of trailing Remus around the house. Something that irritated the life out of him.

He loved having James all to himself, it was a dream come true compared to the summer he had. But he really didn't want the boy hanging around when he was trying to clean, especially when cleaning almost always erupted into some kind of wrestling match or water fight. He just couldn't have that while Mrs Potters sister was here. He ended up doing the least messy things he could when he found out he couldn't pawn James off with a book or puzzle, he was a people person after all, he needed company to survive.

By noon he had James helping out make dinner, the two of them hissing like old woman as Mrs Potter's sister started in on another pureblood rant. Sirius was looking bored stiff, casting longing gazes to where James and Remus were pretending not to be listening in.

'Doesn't matter,' James said, 'He's a Black. He grew up in that house and has blood as pure as gold. He could probably murder one of her spoilt children and she'd still regard him as the best thing to walk the earth.'

'Poor guy.' It was probably one of the few times he felt sympathy for Sirius. Real sympathy and not just something he said to himself to try and make him feel better about being a possessive animal.

'Yeah.' James flung another peeled potato into the basket, Mrs Potter's sister asking for Sirius' opinion on muggleborns drifting over to them. 'So, your parents, did they have any siblings?'

Remus thought he misheard, but James was waiting for an answer, not looking the least bit sorry he'd asked so he must have heard right. Still, his parents had never been a topic of conversation before. Save a few times when he was younger James had pretty much left the whole thing alone. 'I can't remember. Why?'

James shrugged, turning back to the scene in front of them, 'Dunno, it's just you never talk about them. I thought, you know that thing you said to Sirius about them? I thought you might want to talk about them now.'

Remus shook his head, 'Even if I wanted to I can't remember them. It's just that night that I do.'

A lanky knee knocked his, the two of them smiling at the sappy move. 'If you do remember something...'

'I'll make sure to tell you.'

They finished peeling around one, Remus, pressing his luck, tried to use the time before dinner to teach James some valuable home skills, like cooking. Something which he actually had quite a talent for.

'Kind of like potion making,' He said when making the gravy, and Remus had to admit that if his potions were anything like his cooking abilities it was no wonder his plans always worked.

He ended up getting James to make a chocolate cake for desert. Well, two, since Remus said they needed a practice cake for James' first time. The both of them came out perfect, Remus having a hard time deciding which one he was going to purposefully destroy so he could eat it alone later in his room. James was rather proud of himself when he finished, popping the rest of his icing in his mouth before Remus could get to it and declaring it a masterpiece.

By six they had the dinner set and the leftovers packed for when the other Potter party came back from their drinking binge. James was strutting around like a proud peacock, loading his plate up first before calling his cousins and aunt through.

Sirius was like a whippet, bypassing Mrs Potter's sister before he was dragged over to sit next to her and sitting between James and Remus with a sigh. Remus thought nothing of the empty seat next to him, or the one opposite, it was only right when sitting at the table with purebloods.

Of course, he should have known this wouldn't be the last thing to happen to him tonight, he really should have just ate by himself in the kitchen. But James had set him off course, his full attention making him forget about the danger in his house until it was too late.

A throat clearing was the first sign of danger, Mrs Potter's sister standing tall above Remus as she looked at James. 'Please tell me this animal isn't dining with us.'

James, with a mouth full of food, grinned over at his aunt, 'Considering he made it I think he has a right.'

The gasp was clear throughout the room, one of James' cousins coughing up the spoon he'd put in his mouth. Mrs Potter's sister looked just as horrified, finally talking to Remus without James as a go between. 'With your hands?'

'I washed them if that's what you're worried about,' Remus said, wishing now that he hadn't, let them eat from his germy food.

James added on, 'Would you have preferred him to use his mouth aunty?'

The rage was clear on her face, from the set of her eyes to the vein in her neck, beating like a humming bird. 'I would have preferred him to use gloves. Spit that out now James while I prepare something suitable for us to eat.'

It was one thing for her to make her children eat something else but a whole other thing to get James to do so. He'd been living with Remus since he was a child. Had suffered through his first attempts at cooking, and swallowed more burnt things made by his hands than anyone else. James didn't need to be told what he could or couldn't eat, and Remus tried to tell her so. 'I spent all day on that. If you want to-'

He felt the sting rather than the blow itself, his gaze trying to refocus on the Potter's dining table and ignore the ringing in his ears. It didn't help when Mrs Potter's sister grabbed him by his collar and actually dragged him out of the dining room.

'My sister may have married a muggle loving idiot, and she may treat you like you're something you're not wolf. But I'm telling you now, you're nothing more than an animal, and if you so much as raise your gaze to me again I'll report you to the ministry. See how you like it when they put you down for being rabid.'

The pressure on his neck was gone as his knees connected with the stairs. His mind was still in shock, still trying to get to grips with what had just happened which was why it took him a while to remember to get off the carpet and to his room.

He had never felt worse than he did then. It was like the last of his humanity had been ripped away and he could feel tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. It was stupid of him, he knew that as soon as James clamoured up the stairs yelling curses down at his aunt, but he just couldn't stay in his room.

James went into more of a rage when he saw Remus grab his things, not understanding that it was instinct that was driving him to find somewhere alone. To not be here where Sirius could see him weak. He wouldn't allow that. All he saw was Remus grabbing his things because he thought his aunt's words had made him.

'Put your things down,' He hissed, trying to grab them out of Remus' arms. 'I mean it Rem, you're not going anywhere. Put them back before I- I.' He was fishing for a good enough threat. Years of swearing to hex him had wore off as soon as Mr Potter told him James couldn't do magic outside of school until he was seventeen. That was three months away, and James wasn't that creative to come up with a none magic response in such short notice. So he looked to Sirius, the boy lingering outside the door and only making Remus' hackles raise even more. He needed to get out. But James was flailing in front of it, finally coming up with something good, 'I'll scent your things. You don't put them down and I'll rub my smell all over your things Rem. See if you can touch them again while it's still strong.'

'What?' Sirius murmured, looking slightly panicked outside the door.

Remus paid him no mind, looking at him would only make things worse. He needed to get out of there. 'Fine,' he said, 'Do it. I don't care.' The tears were almost out, he could feel them threatening to spill as each twist of his cheeks to keep them in brought back the sting of the slap. 'Just let me out.'

James was at a loss, stomping his feet like a child before anger took over once again. 'Alright, go. Get out, I don't care. I don't even want to look at you if you're just going to believe what she's saying.'

That was all he needed, barging past James and Sirius and retreating to the cellar, the heavy door blocking out the rest of the Potter house. His scent was strong down here, years of blood and piss had made sure of that. It was safe, which was why he finally let the tears fall.


	6. Chapter 6

The Potters had came back around two in the morning, the faint glow of Remus' watch ticking away the rest of the hour as they tried to stealthily climb into their beds.

He rather enjoyed those peaceful hours before breakfast. No one really knew he was down there, the Potters anyway, which meant he could pull himself back together without having to constantly tell everyone he was alright. It meant he could get a few hours sleep before the tell tale sounds of waking were roaming around the Potter's kitchen.

The men were up first, Remus could hear them complaining about their hangovers and talking about this or that which had happened that night. Mrs Potter was up just after them, scolding them for making so much noise and telling her husband to make sure James and Sirius got up before noon.

They didn't.

Partly because they were teenagers. Mostly because Remus had used his heightened hearing to listen to James and Sirius talk until one. James had been inconsolable, ranting and raving until Sirius just left him to it for a while, holing himself up in the Potter's bathroom so he wouldn't bump into any of James' aunt or cousins.

After the smashing had stopped Sirius finally went back to the room, changing the topic to something that would get them through the night until Mr and Mrs Potter were home. Strangely that topic had been the scent thing, Sirius asking about what it was.

He heard what had to be one of the worst explanations James ever gave. He started on Remus being like a dog, then changing it because dogs were offensive, Remus wasn't a dog he was a wolf. When that had ended he went back to explaining that the wolf didn't leave Remus completely when the moon was down, going off on a tangent about his aunt and prompting Sirius to wonder aloud if he would ever hear the end of this explanation. By the time heightened senses and Remus still having some of his instincts were talked about Remus knew James wasn't cut out for a life as a professor. His mind was too chaotic.

Sirius had taken the news well. By that he meant he hadn't audibly reviled at the idea of Remus still being part wolf when the moon was down. Instead he merely said, 'Oh.' then, 'So that's why, oh.' the noises not making sense from Remus' point of view.

Mr Potter finally got the boys up when the men of the house were talking about a Quidditch game in the back garden. Remus could tell without looking that Mrs Potter would probably love to join in too, however her sister had taken her out almost as soon as she'd woke up to fetch more provisions for the house. Remus had an idea that she didn't like the thought of Remus touching all the food the Potters had already bought.

Some sadistic part of Remus kind of wished the woman had been in the house when James relayed what happened last night to his father. It was gone in an instant, burrowing down into his sheets to try and drown out what was going on upstairs.

Even without his heightened senses he could hear the moment Mr Potter processed what happened. There was silence, complete silence, then Mrs Potter's sister's name, shouted in a tone Remus had never heard Mr potter use. Ever. Not even the time James broke his new car, smashing the window to pieces with a defective pack of exploding snap.

The shout stopped, thundering steps following with smaller, faster ones behind it towards the living room. Hushed voices tried to calm Mr Potter down, the man demanding to be let to the floo. Mrs Potter's brother had some choice things to say, mostly consisting of his sister never learning, that kicking her out would do no good and it was Christmas, they couldn't kick her and her kids out on Christmas. Of course, all of this was ignored, mostly because James butted in to remind Mr Potter that she didn't even want to be here. That she had told Sirius numerous times yesterday that she was partly there to tell her sister to leave her husband- tainted blood could never wash out again were her words.

The whole debacle lasted all day. Mrs Potter coming home not long after the floo call. Mrs Potter's sister being given one of the most eye opening rants Remus had ever heard in this house. He hadn't even known Mrs Potter was capable of cursing until he heard a slew of them coming from her mouth. James wasn't put off enough by the adults to stay silent, butting in here and there with reminders of what happened. Remus knew he was enjoying it, he lived for chaos, and loved when it was someone else in the wrong, especially if they had hurt someone close to him.

Napping did no good. Even when he managed to fall asleep he woke to the same screeches he had heard earlier. It was only when it grew dark, something he knew because one of James' uncles had asked whether they should make something for dinner, when a resolution finally happened. Mrs Potter's sister was thrown out, her and her children told to go home and never sully her doorstep again if that was what she thought about their family. With one last word about Mr Potter, the door was slammed and order restored to the Potter house.

He was reading by torchlight when Mrs Potter came down, a plate of leftovers from last night in her hand and a defeated look on her face. Remus understood. She was a pureblood maniac but she was still Mrs Potter's sister.

'Here you are sweetheart,' She handed it over, carding her hand through his hair and sitting next to him. Her fingers stopped at his cheek, no doubt there was a mark there. 'You want your dad to heal it?'

He shook his head, 'I've had worse. It doesn't even hurt anymore.'

He was pulled in close, trying to fight off tears that were trying to break free again. He wasn't a child anymore, and she wasn't his mum. Still, she was the closest thing he would ever get to one, and right now he needed someone to baby him a bit. If only to make him feel a bit better.

'You can come upstairs. We're warming up the meal you made yesterday, I know it's going to be lovely.'

'Maybe in a while,' He compromised, not feeling up to seeing James and Sirius just yet.

A while was the next morning. Mr Potter had brought him food, fussing almost as bad as Mrs Potter about his cheek. He told him all about James and Sirius trying to lighten the house now their bad houseguest was gone. How they had set off dungbombs and lay exploding snap traps again to rile up his parents. Remus had heard them laughing, kind of wishing he was up there but his pride keeping him down until he knew he wouldn't cry again when he went up. It was hard to let go of the fact that James had seen him take the hit, even worse, somehow, than his monthly transformations. Those were a part of life, this was different. So he had to work through the fact there would be pitying looks for a while, and James would probably be mad at him at first too.

When he did come out of his hidey hole he was glad he had stayed in there all night, there was no way he could have taken the silence that was brought over the breakfast table otherwise. The way Mr and Mrs Potter's brothers were avoiding his eyes and the way the other occupants gazes immediately went to his cheek. Dignity was hard to regain, but somehow he did it, making it through eating and going on with the clean up he had neglected by staying in the cellar a whole day.

Christmas was a relief after that.

Putting up the tree had everyone in high spirits, James and Sirius lamenting about not being able to use their wands, trying to bribe Mr Potter in turning a blind eye so they could just do 'one spell.' Mrs Potter wouldn't let Remus near the kitchen for three days, Christmas being her time to show off her culinary skills and knowing this was around the time Remus started stealing cookies and cakes to hide in his room. Thankfully James was just as good at it, handing Remus a snowman shaped biscuit almost every hour.

When Christmas morning came he wasn't surprised to be dragged out of his chocolate coma at six in the morning. If there was one thing James wouldn't grow out of it was waking up early for presents. On the dot he was jumping on Remus and Sirius, dragging them to their feet until they leaned sleepily before the Christmas tree.

James got a new owl, immediately calling him Godric, claiming that the bird himself was a symbol of Gryffindor pride. Remus could see why, it's feathers seemed to be a mix of soft gold and a brown that looked almost red in the right light, an epitome of bravery.

There was a nice chocolate shaped present for him, along with a new book about werewolves for him to read. The only difference was that this was written by a muggle, and from James' smirk he hadn't high hopes for the narrative. Some new jumpers opened and there was only one left. It was shoddily wrapped, looking like another present from James had the cursive not been so precise on his name. There was a whole horde of sweets inside, some kind of gift basket, and the best thing was it was from Honeydukes. Remus had only had chocolate from there once, James having forgotten to eat it before he came home one summer and cast it off to him with the words everyone needed to experience this chocolate once. He had been right. Remus had dreams about this chocolate, amazing dreams full of smooth bars with some kind of filling inside that literally melted on his tongue. It was always warm too, magic keeping it just that right temperature not to disrupt the rest of the bar. He never thought he would get another bar, yet, here was a whole basket full of them.

He didn't even think about it, lunging across the room and hugging the life out of Sirius. It was short, Remus seeing James eyeing up the chocolate out of the corner of his eye, and let go to ward him off, but it was enough to make Sirius uncomfortable. He was frozen on the spot, his arms rigid at his side and casting James little 'help me' looks that were still there when Remus returned to his chocolate. He didn't regret it, he was thankful for the chocolate. Let Sirius wipe the animal from himself later but right now he had chocolate to eat.

James and Sirius spent the rest of the holidays playing with James' new owl. One of their favourite things to do was take their brooms out back and send letters to each other over a short space. Mrs Potter did not find the enjoyment out of it that they did.

'He's not a toy James.' She herded the owl down herself with scraps of bacon, shooing the boys off when they got too close with their brooms. 'And why don't you invite Remus to play with you.'

Remus himself was spying on them from his room. He'd taken to hiding there when James had tried to steal some of his Honeydukes again. With the Potter's extended family gone he had it all to himself again, which meant that he had warning should James try and sneak in. Which he did, often.

At first he had done it to try and check on Remus through the night. It appeared the physical strike across his cheek had shocked him into overprotective mode. Remus thanked Merlin that James didn't know about the other times, had only been witnessed to this one since he was sure James would never leave him out of his sight.

Of course James always thought he was stealthy when he sneaked in. He used his invisibility cloak and everything. But Remus was a light sleeper, one of the drawbacks of having heightened senses. He knew the moment James moved from the other room, his hearing telling him his human was up and out for mischief. His nose telling him when his sight failed as James tip toed into his room. Most importantly he heard the moment where James was satisfied with his findings and went rummaging around for something to munch on.

He had gladly begged out of Quidditch to guard it, not trusting James for a moment if he left his room unguarded.

It was because of him keeping to himself over Christmas, indulging himself at every opportunity with Honeyduke's finest, that when he finally joined the rest of the family for New Years he was surprised at the sombre mood.

'Sirius' uncle just died,' James told him to the side. The rest of the Potters were consoling Sirius, the boy not looking too disheartened considering someone had just died.

It turned out he didn't know him all that well, Sirius remembering a few stories about the man before his mother declared him off the family tree. The only reason Sirius was hearing about the death in the family was because his uncle had left him something, a meeting at the ministry deciding whether he was eligible enough in age to receive it yet.

The meeting came and went a few days before James and Sirius were to return home. Sirius coming back in a considering mood, locking himself in James' room for the rest of the afternoon. Mrs Potter charged Remus with keeping James away. 'He's still Sirius' family,' She said, the words that were probably said the most around Sirius since he got there.

He had James playing poker, the two of them playing for the last of the Christmas sweets when Sirius re-joined them for supper. He slapped something down, taking James' cards off him and shoving the rest of the sweets Remus' way. 'He would've won,' Sirius said before James could argue, slipping the paper he had brought with him over to his friend. 'Alphard left me some money. Enough for a flat next summer. I think I might need your help to break the news to your folks.'

He did.

When James decided he was alright with the idea of Sirius moving out, which took some hissing arguments in the cellar and more pranks than Remus would care to remember, he helped Sirius break the news to his parents. Well, they didn't exactly tell them. Not in person. James thought the best way to tell his parents was by owl, a rather crass letter beginning with one of many detentions they had already received this year and ending with the address of Sirius' new flat. Remus was witness to one of ten howlers Mrs Potter sent back, the words she used bound to have her letters screened before letting them in for the future.

The letter war continued for months. Mrs Potter was adamant that Sirius was staying with them over the summer, not moving away. She even bribed him with sweets, cakes and anything else homely she made to get him to stay with them.

'He's just a boy, he can't live on his own,' She said, before ordering Remus to fetch more flour for the next cake she was making.

In those months there wasn't much Remus didn't hear about James' other exploits. No matter what, he ended up seeing some side of one argument even if all Remus had asked was if James had succeeded in getting Lily to talk to him. He had thought it would prompt a letter full of love, and God forbid, poetry- it had happened once- he should have known better with the way things were going as of late.

Thankfully exams were able to push off the fight for a while. Mrs Potter went into full motivation mode, sending less letters and more treats for both of her children. Of course, after exams the fight was back on, Mrs Potter storming in one day showing them a muggle photo of the apartment Sirius had bought.

'Maybe it's a good thing,' Mr Potter tried, and not for the first time. 'He's going to want to live on his own after school anyway, and this way he's gaining some experience beforehand. Darling, you know he feels like a burden when he stays with us, let him at least try before you herd him back home.'

She seemed to calm down a little, at least until the last two weeks of school. Then, she was adamant that Sirius could try and live on his own but she was getting weekends with him if she had to move in with him herself.

'That poor boy,' Mr Potter grinned as he led Remus down to the cellar. 'He's going to be regretting ever telling your mother when he comes home.' Which was true, even if she had calmed she was still preparing meal plans and cooking up excuses as to why they could come over on this or that day. Sirius wasn't getting rid of Mrs Potter that easily.

'I'm sure he'll be fine,' Remus said, knowing it to be true. If he could survive more than a year living with James he could survive anything. Remus knew from experience that it was bad enough living a room away, but sharing, and not to mention seeing him every day, it was a miracle Sirius hadn't killed James.

He stripped off, handing his clothes over to Mr Potter so he wouldn't eat them through the night, he had woke up more than once with strips of cloth between his teeth. Once he even remembered his throat feeling clogged all morning when he went for breakfast, after an hour he choked up a full cuff, James squealing in a very unmanly manner as he scampered to get his mum.

A hand was in his hair, messing it up, Mr Potter himself giving Remus a look he was well versed in now. Pity. He didn't like the full moons any more than Remus did, none of the Potters did for that fact. James once told him that they didn't go to bed, were actually scared to in case something happened. When Remus asked what could possible happen to them he was surprised with the list James came up with, all from Remus being too quiet and them all thinking something bad happening, or one of the spells keeping the neighbours and most importantly Remus safe failed. He'd never really thought about all that, mostly he would spend the hours waiting for the moon wishing he had at least covers on his bed, and ones that didn't smell like blood when he did have them.

He strapped on a smile, not wanting Mr Potter to feel worse about leaving him down there, and tried not to well up at the hug that followed. Sometimes he really wished the Potters were his family, they were so nice to him. 'I'll be here in the morning. Try not to chew yourself up too badly.'

'No promises.'


	7. Chapter 7

He woke up to the sound of beeping. His brain booted online when the beeping started to get on his nerves, the why much more than it being a methodical noise made to annoy. He'd been here before, more than once too. It was Mungo's, the noise next to him one of the few muggle inventions they adopted to keep an eye on others heat beats. He'd been hooked up to it many times, usually when he lost more than one limb and the Potters didn't have time to stitch it back on before his body rejected it.

He was in pain, everywhere, which further proved that something bad had happened last night. Last time, if he remembered correctly, he had used his claws to rip out most of his neck. It was on one of the nights James was home from school too, the boy waking Remus up many a night afterward to make sure he was still breathing. He belatedly hoped this time that it wasn't too bad, maybe just a few missing fingers or toes they had trouble finding in the cellar before rushing him here. The older Potters didn't really mind the blood and gore, having known what they were getting into when they brought him home, but Remus hated the babying that came after a stint in Mungo's. He needed time to lick his wounds not sit around being piled with more and more cake because of something that was just as natural as the sun rising.

His eyes were sticky, lashes refusing to separate long enough to let a glimpse of light in. It took a few tries to get his hand up and rub them open, the familiar sight of the werewolf ward greeting him when he did. Sitting up was impossible he realised, since even if his hands were working his lower half was clasped in so many bandages he couldn't bend anything. The most he could do was lean on his elbows and use his head, trying to gauge which of the Potters he would have to soothe.

Only, none of them were around. He flopped back onto the pillows, cursing quietly when his neck and open wounds protested the bounce. He supposed they were off getting something to drink. Who knew how long he'd been in there, and it wasn't like they needed to stick around just for him.

Time passed, and eventually, just as Remus was wondering if he could try and move the jug of water to his mouth with his mind, someone familiar stepped in. But- wait, that wasn't right.

It was Sirius, his dark hair, long again, pulled back with some flower clip with the rest of him clad in muggle clothes. He didn't look all too well, his face paler than Remus had ever seen it and dark circles under his eyes. He looked worse than when he first came to stay with the Potters last year, and, most importantly, he wasn't supposed to be there at all.

'You should be in school,' Remus said, his voice croaking around the words. He really needed that jug.

'Yeah,' Sirius agreed, Remus barely hearing him it came out so quiet. 'I gotta go get James.'

'He should be in school too.' A brief smile stretched onto Sirius' gaunt face, gone in an instant as almost guilt replaced it.

Sirius was gone for more than a couple of minutes. He was hours really, and Remus was wondering if he could get the Potters could put in another complaint at Mungo's about werewolf services when James finally came through with one of the healers.

He looked just as bad, if not worse than Sirius. His glasses were cracked, askew on his face, when Remus asked James said he kept breaking them and Sirius was fed up of fixing them so they were staying like this for a while. He sat on the mattress with Remus, ignoring the healer when she frowned about it. He didn't say anything while she puttered about, looking like she was useful when in actual fact she was just making sure Remus wasn't going to die before leaving to another, more important patient.

Finally, when the silence stretched long after the healers' absence, Remus got the courage to ask, 'What's happened? Why are you home from school?' Since there was no way he had slept through two weeks.

James opened his mouth, looking like he was going to speak before biting his lip so hard it turned white. Tears were welling in his eyes, and Remus didn't need someone then to tell him that something bad had happened.

Eventually it was Sirius that told him everything, coming back in from wherever he'd went to give them privacy. Herding James away by telling him the auror's waned another word with him. Auror's; something really bad had happened.

'Sirius?' Remus begged before he too could leave. He needed to know, and thankfully Sirius agreed since he pulled up a chair and delivered possibly one of the worst things Remus had ever heard.

'They know it wasn't your fault,' Sirius finished with. 'They think you were trying to protect them. From what they saw when they got there apparently your wolf wasn't big enough to have left those marks.' Just thinking about the Potters, torn up like his mother, like the people in that village, like him. It made him sick. 'They think it was organised. They said that the wolves left the other houses. It was like they knew where to go.'

'Just like last time,' Remus said. He remembered the wolves, how they had seemed to be sniffing for something, communicating like they were searching for a target. How they possibly left the other survivors to focus on Remus and his family. He'd never really thought about that night like an organised attack, but the more he thought about it, the more he heard about the Potters and how similar it was, it seemed like they were just too similar to dismiss.

'I'm so sorry Remus,' Sirius told him, holding his hand, tight and safe, the bandages the only thing separating them. 'They had to get us out of school. Dumbledore just strode in and told us. He didn't even have time to pull us aside it happened so fast. I think he was hoping they would be okay if we got to them in time. But-' It was strange to see Sirius cry. He'd never seen it, and he allowed a part of him to be jealous of how good he looked doing it, just like he looked good doing everything. When he thought like that it helped block out the reality of why he was crying. That it wasn't just Remus and James that had lost their home. He knew what it was like to be taken in by the Potters, how they made him feel so much at home that it was home. Sirius was just as much a part of their family as he was, and, like him, he'd lost them as well as his old one now.

It didn't really register with Remus for a while. Not until James came back looking more angry than anything else. By that time Remus had received the story four times over from Sirius. How the wolves had broken into his home. How Remus had busted himself up beyond belief, the Auror's actually believing he was dead by the time they got there. How it had taken more than one stunning spell to get him back to an unconscious state since Remus was sure the Auror's were out to hurt his family too. He heard Sirius try and cheer himself up by saying they were probably the talk of Hogwarts. He listened as, more often than not Sirius broke down, curling up in the chair beside Remus' bed.

James was a breath of fresh air after all this. For a bad reason they found out. Mungo's was lucky James had been brought up to respect well to do establishments, otherwise Remus knew he would be doing more than huffing in place.

It turned out the Potter family's bad eggs hadn't just extended to Mrs Potter's sister. Almost as soon as Mr and Mrs Potter were declared dead Mr Potter's brother swooped in and tried to take the lot. The house James lost, Mr Potter's brother making a good argument that James didn't have the money to keep up with the costs of keeping a house. He took the furniture, the clothes and was adamant he wasn't giving up his bachelor lifestyle to look after his newly orphaned nephew. he would have gotten their money too had Dumbledore not stuck around. Thanks to him James had financial security. But that was all he had. His home was gone. Remus' home was gone.

Which reminded him, 'What's going to happen to me?'

'You?' James didn't look to have given it much thought, the dawning horror overcoming him until he was racing out the room again.

It was another hour before Remus was told his fate. With James, which had him letting out the first tear since he'd woken up. This was real, it was happening. He had almost lost James along with everything else and-

He napped for a while after that, the wounds and drugs making him sleepy. He heard James and Sirius filter in every now and then, talking about what had happened with the house. Mrs Potter's dinners. Everything and anything that came to mind really.

'We can stay with you, right?' James asked at one point.

'Of course you can. I'm not leaving you alone mate.' Sirius had moved, somewhere, a crinkle and smell of chocolate keeping Remus on the more awake side of things. 'You can tell Remus though.'

The bed moved, James chuckling slightly. 'He doesn't hate you, you know. You can tell him yourself.'

Sirius' flat was small. That was all Remus was going to say about it. Sirius had offered them a place to stay after all, it wasn't up to him to turn his nose up at a roof over his head. Thankfully Sirius recognised the flats faults, telling them it was only a temporary thing for over the summer, planning on getting a better one next year when they finally left school.

They moved in right away since there was no use James and Sirius going back to school. Exams were finished, and with nothing else but summer reading assigned to them, all they really needed were their trunks. Unfortunately Remus didn't have such a luxury. He hadn't had to compile his whole life in one compartment before, not like James and Sirius had for the past six years. Everything he had was back at the Potters house. Which, he was told when he was sick of wearing James' too short jeans, had been sold on and his clothes gone to who knew where. They had nothing after all.

Shopping however, was on the last on their list. The flat only had one bedroom, the first night they moved in the three of them playing a hasty game of exploding snap poker to decide who was getting it. Strangely they were all playing for someone else. James saying Remus needed the mattress, Remus saying he was fine with a blanket on the floor and Sirius adamant that the two of them were guests and it was the least he could do. They solved it with James winning, Remus getting the bed for the night. He ended up sneaking out when he was sure James and Sirius were asleep, and switching himself for James. He got an earful in the morning about pulling his wound and being just generally disobedient, but since James slept in for the first time since this all started he felt his actions justified. He argued at some point he would have put Sirius there instead but he knew he was a light sleeper.

'I can hear you tossing,' Remus said when Sirius asked about it. Which had his cheeks turning red as other nights came to mind, ones which Remus had turned a blind ear to.

When the bed situation was finally sorted out with James and Sirius sharing while Remus got the settee Remus clued the two hopeless wizards into life on their own. Something that helped keep Remus' mind off the ever present guilt and grief, and he could see helped James and Sirius too. Food shopping was high on their adult list, James and Sirius not having a clue what to eat or even what went into making something tasty.

By the end of their trip to the nearest shop Remus declared shopping his responsibility from now on. Along with cooking when James was so out of it he blew up their new toaster. Clothes washing was on his list too, Sirius making an attempt and changing everything green. Remus didn't even know how that was possible since he was sure none of them wore green except Remus, whose clothes were all gone now.

The lack of productivity on James and Sirius' part eventually blew up. It was just after James was doing the dishes, having been stuck on one plate for a good few minutes. It ended with him smashing it, declaring he couldn't do anything and wishing his parents were still around.

Remus felt the same. He wished more than anything that they were still there to help James learn how to stand on his own two feet, but they weren't, and there was nothing Remus could do except say. 'You can. You can do a lot of things James, it just takes time and practice. But maybe let me do that for now.'


	8. Chapter 8

The weeks went by in an almost monotonous routine really, save for the times when either one of them would just- break. Sirius was prone to moods, cooping himself up in his room for hours on end until he was coerced out by James. Remus tried to keep himself busy constantly, figuring that if he was moving he couldn't think. But usually when he'd done something more than twice his brain shut off while his hands took over, and then he couldn't help but find himself sniffing over washing or whatever it was he was doing. James tried to cheer him up there as well. Really out of all of them James was finding himself the most put out. He was a people person, thriving off others energy. Right now the only energy he had was Sirius' moods and Remus' crying, the effort it took to make them okay again draining him so much Remus saw him again and again just stop or randomly try for an argument. Anything other than the bleak moods that were contained in this tiny flat.

All too soon Remus found himself knocking on Sirius' door. James called him in, the two of them lounging on the small bed with mounds upon mounds of books surrounding them. Normally Remus was loathe to interrupt them actually doing school work, it was few and far between when the Potters had been alive, dead, and that was all they seemed to do when there was nothing else to keep them occupied. It was probably the most productive they'd ever been and Remus was actually quite happy that at least their school grades would come up out of this.

But this was important.

'Something wrong?' James asked, already perked up out of his lounge, like at any moment he would leap off the bed and sort out Remus' problem.

'Not really. I was just wondering what time we were heading off tomorrow.' Remus could tell straight away that they hadn't a clue what he was going on about. Their blank stares had him worried, he probably should have interrupted them earlier. 'The full moon's tomorrow.'

There were only three times in Remus' life that he had actually seen James genuinely scared. The first had been the morning after his first full moon at the Potters. He'd woke up to see the scrawny boy that had tried so hard to be his friend standing pale at the foot of his bed. For a few moments he thought James was horrified, that he would never want to try talking with Remus again. It was gone as soon as Mr Potter said Remus was alright, James trying to reopen his wounds by hugging him tight and telling him he thought he was going to die. The second had been the hospital a couple of weeks ago. This was the third time, and it wasn't any less comfortable than the last two.

'Oh Merlin no,' James panicked, going into a pace- or what would have been a pace had they room. 'Sirius what are we going to do? He's going to- oh Merlin.'

'What about the ministry?' Remus asked, thinking fast. They needed a place and fast. 'They have holding cells for werewolves.' He vaguely remembered hearing about it, and being in one himself after the attack.

'They got rid of them,' James said. 'Figured since all the werewolves were with pure-bloods there was no reason to have them. If we go there they'll think I can't handle you and shoot you on sight. We have to find somewhere else.'

They ended up going out when Sirius said Remus wasn't transforming at the flat. He didn't blame Sirius really, as a wolf the first thing he would be doing would be going for the two of them. Things would be destroyed, walls ripped and Sirius shouldn't have to pay more for this place than necessary, it wasn't that great a flat. There was also the fact a werewolf would need charms to keep it captive. If there was one thing spells like that needed it was practice and time. James had neither, and he doubted Sirius could perform them no matter how good a spellcaster James said he was.

They walked for what felt like hours trying to find the right empty place for Remus to transform in. Either, the place was too surrounded by muggles or it would be discovered too soon in the morning. James was a good liar, but even he couldn't explain away a bloodied boy in a murder scene room.

They went to abandoned houses, buildings with storage rooms and even a walk in freezer. But as they soon found out these places were abandoned for a reason.

It was three in the morning when James tried to talk Sirius around to letting Remus transform at the flat, thinking up ways they could get it secure enough by moonrise. Thankfully Sirius didn't give in to his panic, and quickly shot down any and all ideas James threw his way.

Thankfully, the arguments stopped as the perfect place was found. It was a sports centre, one that was still in peak condition but being knocked down in the coming days because of the newer one built behind it. There would be no muggles walking past since it was pretty remote, and since both facilities were closed while the finishing touches were being made to the new one there was a good chance that they could clean up before anyone came to check on it. The gym inside was secure with three feet of concrete, and even if Remus found a way to break out, there was a maze of corridors and steel doors that would keep the wolf occupied until sun up.

They spent the rest of the day there casting silencing spells, and by nightfall Remus was confident that this was going to be a better moon than last. Any moon was better than last.

He woke up to snoring in his ear. Sirius, and he knew it was Sirius from his sensitive nose, was drooling too close for comfort, his hair actually draping across Remus' cheek. If he wasn't convinced Sirius needed a haircut before he was sure of it now.

It took a while to untangle himself from the long limbs that seemed to have draped over him through the night, and by the time he actually sat up he wondered if James would tease Sirius about it later. God knows Remus would if he wasn't worried about being kicked out.

James was nowhere in sight, but sounds from the kitchen and the sickening smell of cooking meat told him he wasn't far off. He contemplated getting up, fully up, but figured after the lack of preparation and the fact he really couldn't be bothered meant he deserved to have breakfast in bed this once.

'You should have seen him,' James chuckled over breakfast, shovelling more bacon onto Remus' waiting plate. 'I don't think I've ever seen Sirius so squeamish before. He was all, 'there's blood on my shirt,' 'should it really be coming out this fast?' 'is he dead, I think he's dead.' So funny. He carried you in here this morning.' Remus didn't have the heart to tell James he wasn't up to more meat just yet as another horde of food came his way. 'Said he didn't want you to die in your sleep. He was in the chair last time I came in, guess he fancied a cuddle.'

'Of course he did,' Remus said. 'I'm probably the cuddliest werewolf you're ever going to find. It's the dimples I think.'

He overplayed the nudge James gave him, clutching his arm like he'd seen James do one too many times after a scrape and enjoyed the laugh that burst out of both of them. It felt like a new start, a new cycle of life for him. Last month had started off disastrously, this one would be better, and maybe one month, a few moons from now, they'd get back to what normal could feel like.

'We'll be more prepared next month,' James promised once the laughter had died off. 'I've already planned a trip to Diagon alley. Maybe get more healing books.'

'You know,' Remus remembered, 'If you had just taken Care of Magical Creatures-'

'Don't start.'

James and Sirius' Hogwarts letters came the next Monday, the two school owls dithering about for a bit as they waited for their expectant reward. It took three scraps of bacon to get one of them away from Remus' plate.

The letters had surprises galore for the both of them. James' peddling out a shiny badge that had Sirius whistling lowly beneath his breath. 'What is that?' the grin on his face belying his ignorant tone.

'There has to be some mistake,' James insisted, looking through his letter in the hopes that McGonagall had finally decided to get her own back and prank him with this. But no, the letter had nothing but congratulations inside from Dumbledore, the Head Boy badge expected to be worn on the train to Hogwarts as an introduction to the role. 'I've never even been a bloody prefect. Surely these things go to them. I mean, I'm the farthest from Head boy there should be. The Head boy should be fearing my very presence instead of me fearing... myself...' he trailed showing just how good a decision Dumbledore had made by giving James the Head Boy role.

The Head Boy badge was chucked between the three of them, Sirius and James making a game out of it when Remus started making notes about what they would need from Diagon Alley in the next few weeks. A trip he was most definitely not looking forward to.

Sirius' letter showed a delegation of Quidditch duties. With James being busy with his Heady Boy things it seemed the Gryffindor team needed a new captain to make sure both duties didn't overwork James. Remus had to listen to hours of compromising after that, apparently the two of them having been co captains- to each other anyway- for the past year. This year would prove no different save the role being given to Sirius instead of James this year.

The badge made another pass over his head when a third owl flew through the window. It landed primly in front of Remus, and he was more than surprised to see his name written in green across the old parchment.

'Dumbledore wants to see me,' he heard himself say, his brain still reading over the fine scrawl saying much the same. It was all very polite for a distinguished wizard. Usually, if any, wizard of Dumbledore's standing addressed him it was wolf this and beast that. Dumbledore actually sounded like he meant the welcoming words.

'When?' Sirius asked.

'Tomorrow. He'll be here at noon.'

They glanced at each other, questions and thoughts running through each of their minds as to why Dumbledore would want to visit Remus. It was gone as soon as Remus realised tomorrow was tomorrow, picking himself up from the table he herded the others into a cleaning frenzy.

Despite his attempts at keeping the apartment clean, it never stayed that way. Takeaway boxes always seemed to pile up no matter how many home cooked meals he insisted they eat. Thirteen trips to the bin were what got rid of all their waste, and afterwards they divided into teams each of them taking a part of the flat to scrub the living daylights out of.

James took the bathroom full of mismatched products. James' awful attempts at shaving meant that the sink looked like something had died in it, Remus sparing a few chuckles at the loud complaints echoing over to him.

Sirius took the living room, his shouts mixing in with James' as he found things he didn't even want to explain among the sofa and the coffee table. He told them they were all crowding into the one bedroom that night, saying there was no way he was letting them mess up his clean living room.

The kitchen was all that was left. That and the washing, which took Remus most of the day to clean and dry so it could be shoved into what Sirius and James called drawers.

True to his word Sirius had all three of them crowded onto the small bed that night, Remus fighting off James' kicking feet and Sirius' loud snores to get a decent nights sleep. He was loathe to wake up early the next morning, and would have gladly slept in since Dumbledore wasn't coming until one, but, as was usually the case, it wasn't just him that needed to get ready.

Sirius wasn't that bad. He was showered and dressed before breakfast was done, telling Remus the headmaster had seen him in worse conditions than muggle clothes and bed hair. James however was another story. Remus had him sitting on a stool as he ate, trying as hard as he could to tame what he called hair.

'Ow,' James whined, trying to bat off the brush again with his spoon. 'Gently Rem.'

Remus tried again to sort out that tangle, giving up when it just stuck back up and magically knotted together again as soon as he was finished. 'That's it! Haircut.'

He didn't know how they did it, was actually confused about the time in-between giving up on James' hair and the three of them sitting primly on the sofa, but they did. By one the three of them were washed, ready and presentable enough that when Remus answered the door it didn't look like they were three struggling teenagers.

'Good afternoon,' Remus greeted, letting in an elderly wizard and a stern looking witch. Well, she wasn't that stern. No sooner had she strode past the threshold did she make a beeline for James and Sirius, almost fussing over them.

'I finished my transfiguration essay,' James told her. The witch just tutted and went to sort Sirius out.

The elderly wizard Remus recognised as Dumbledore from his chocolate card collection- or his past collection since he had to leave that in the house with the rest of his things. The man was supposed to be a fair wizard, and one that had went down in history for defeating more than one dark wizard. Standing in front of him it was hard to believe, but Remus knew something about appearances being deceiving, what with his skinny frame turning into a massive furry bulk every so often, and was quite conflicted as to what he should do in front of such a man.

Thankfully the decision was taken away from him as Dumbledore shook his hand. 'So nice to finally meet you Mister Lupin. I knew your father, he was a fine wizard in his day. Shame about what happened.'

'Thank you,' Remus said. He was still reeling from the handshake, from the friendly tone, from the fact it had been so long since he'd heard his last name he'd forgotten he had one at all.

He retreated back into his house servant role for lack of anything to say or do. Starting with drinks he made sure everyone was comfortable, dithering around helplessly while the two distinguished wizards sat themselves down until James just told him to stop.

They were there for most of the afternoon. The proposition, for that was why Dumbledore was here, had to be explained more than once as James and Sirius started on this or that question regarding it. Dumbledore knew their situation, how they had bought this place, or Sirius had, before the accident happened and they had no more plans other than James and Sirius finishing school and moving out next summer. Dumbledore had said it was a good idea, had the Potters been alive, but they weren't, and so James had to think about other things. Like what would happen to Remus while James was away at school.

Even if James kept the place for Remus to stay in while he was gone there was a reason the Ministry placed werewolves with pure-blood families. They had facilities, wands, a means to patch the poor creatures up after a moon. If James left Remus alone for the year then Ministry action would probably be taken at some point to remove Remus altogether. A prospect none of them wanted.

So Dumbledore had an alternative solution: Remus came to stay at Hogwarts for the year. He would help out around the grounds with their gamekeeper Hagrid, and on full moons he would go to a facility Dumbledore had set up and be tended by the matron in the morning.

It was... ideal. But, 'Do you want me to go?' He knew Hogwarts was James' place. Remus tagging along might spoil his reputation or something, and he didn't really like to think about it but James' opinion on him mattered to him.

James didn't see it like that, or just didn't care. Almost as soon as Remus had asked he said, 'Why wouldn't I?' and started making more arrangements of beds and food with the Headmaster.

It was strange, Remus had always wanted to see Hogwarts. He just didn't expect to have lost this much before getting there.


	9. Chapter 9

The trip to Diagon Alley was uneventful. Nothing really happened, they went in, went out and were done with their purchases by the afternoon. It had been a while since Remus had last been in Diagon Alley, but, much like last time, he was too busy keeping his head down to really appreciate what was around him. The only highlight he could really remember was James taking him to some ice cream shop, the three of them slopping chocolate and vanilla down their fronts and pretending it was any other day.

He said any other day because, like him, this wasn't just an ordinary trip to Diagon Alley. It was James and Sirius' last one they would ever take to get their school supplies. Not to mention the first time either of them had went without at least one guardian watching over them. James, Remus could tell, was trying to ignore the pointed looks and whispers around him. People gossiping as they had a want to do about James and his unfortunate circumstances. _'Is that the Potter boy?' 'Poor thing, and at a time like this,' 'Looks like the Black boy'll be looking for a new home- again,'_ that last comment sending all three of them to the nearest shop so Sirius wouldn't be tempted to pull his wand out.

Still, the trip was mostly uneventful.

September 1st on the other hand was a trial altogether. If Remus thought it had been hard herding James and Sirius into a respectable appearance, it had nothing on getting the pair of them up, dressed, packed and to Kings Cross station before the train left.

For some wise decision, James and Sirius had spent the night before their arrival back at school playing games and plotting pranks for the year ahead. Remus hadn't the heart to tell them to shut up and go to sleep, the moments where the pair of them would talk about normal things few and far between these days. So he had indulged them, and stupidly went to sleep himself. Bad idea. With little over three hours sleep and no time for breakfast when they were up it was one tantrum after another for the rest of the morning.

'Get that stupid owl to shut up James or I swear I'll hex it,' Sirius yelled, the bathroom door wide open and showing him trying to right his hair.

'He's nervous Sirius, and your shouting isn't helping much.' James put a cover over it anyway, a new shirt he'd managed to sneak into their shopping. Remus grabbed it before James could leave it and probably drop it on their way to the station. Let the owl be noisy, at least it was ready to go.

He followed James as more items dropped from his arms, socks, books and potions ingredients they could not leave behind in this muggle flat. When he stuffed them all in James' trunk, spotting Sirius' in much worse condition he'd had enough. Stalking back into the living room where another argument had broken out, he hauled Sirius and James back into their room.

'Right, I don't care if your hair's a mess, James yours always is so don't even try it this morning. Get these trunks packed and I swear if they're not by the time I come back in I'm shaving both of you bald in your sleep. Got it?'

They nodded, Remus ignoring the comment about Mrs Potter's temper being passed on to Remus in favour of getting his scarce few clothes packed and ready by the front door. He was happy to note the two of them joining him in under five minutes, waiting like patient children as Remus did one final sweep of the flat before telling them they were safe to leave.

Sirius was the one to take them all to London since he was the only one to have passed his apparition test- something Remus was really going to get James to concentrate on now he was going with him to Hogwarts. It took three trips in total. Two, to get the bags and James' owl on the platform and the third to get Remus and James there. He was shaking off the tight grip when the first horn sounded, Remus all but dragging the two of them on to the train so he could finally get another few hours of sleep.

As soon as they were let go, their bags stowed and James' head boy badge firmly in place, Remus let himself fall back on the hard seats and cast an arm over his eyes. He was exhausted, more than exhausted trying to keep James and Sirius in check. How Mr and Mrs Potter did it he didn't know. Seven- no, six, years of taking them too and fro to Hogwarts, sometimes twice a year. While it was true they mostly just had to worry about James, if this morning proved anything it was that it wasn't easier with just one of them, individually they were just as bad as they were together.

'Rem, we're going to go find Pete,' James said, the door already closing to their compartment, 'So you just go to sleep, rest your little wolfy eyes and sleep off the rest of that nasty temper you have.'

He threw a shoe at James' retreating back for that, the resounding smack off the door satisfying enough to send him into a light doze for a good hour.

The door opening had him perking up, expecting to see James and Sirius retreating from some danger they would've gotten themselves into by now. Only it wasn't them, instead it was three girls, two of them hanging in the corridor while the leader got a good look at Remus.

'Do I know you?' the girl asked, sounding quite sure as she asked that Remus was going to say no.

'I'm not a student.'

She frowned, her arms folding over her chest, making it stick out just that little bit more. Remus could honestly say this was the longest he'd ever been near a girl his age, and he didn't really know what to do. She'd already labelled him as something, and since the other girls had been muggles he hoped that label was something friendly. A kick in the balls was welcomed over a hex any day.

'You're too young to be a professor,' the girl concluded. 'Unless...' she looked to her friends, the two of them giggling lightly at her like she was simple. Maybe not such good friends after all since she turned back with more than a hard look in her eyes, 'So who are you then?'

'Remus,' he tried, which was really all the information he could give her. He didn't know much about his position at Hogwarts than her at the moment. All Dumbledore had said was that he would be joining James and Sirius at the castle, what role he had remained to be seen when he actually turned up on the grounds.

'Remus,' she sounded, getting to grips with the vowels. Her friends perked up behind her, looking to something at her left. 'Well Remus, you're-' her friends nudged her, nodding their heads to whatever had their attention. It must have been good, since she seemed to change in less than a blink. Gone was the sure attitude and tense stance in favour of a slouch and groan, the three girls disappearing before Remus could even ask their names.

Unsurprisingly James and Sirius appeared before the glass after a moment, the two of them falling over each other to get in, a smaller boy at their heels laughing at their antics.

'Close the door Pete,' James hissed, scrambling onto the seat next to Remus and sending a warning look to Sirius as a horde of students filed past the door.

As soon as the last footstep faded, Sirius took the seat opposite, huffing over at James, 'You could have let me get one hex in. That badge has went to your head.'

'Hardly,' James scoffed, flinging the thing off like it really was responsible. 'Look, the last thing we need on our first day is a detention for fighting on the train. It's not just the three of us this year Sirius.' Remus thought he didn't need to add the subtle head nod in his direction, the fourth member gate crashing their year quite clear in his words. 'Until Remus is settled in Hogwarts we just let them talk.'

'But-'

'I don't care. I don't care anymore, everyone's saying something about us so what does it matter if they're in Slytherin. If they raise their wand then fine, you can hex them. Until then just keep your head down.'

Something unspoken passed between them, something Remus knew partly concerned himself. Whatever it was had Sirius agreeing, his wand being firmly put away just in time for the trolley lady to come around.

With sweets laid out on the seats next to them, and Remus happily munching on a chocolate bar the train ride passed in considerably lighter spirits.

Peter, he learned, was a rather odd boy. From the way James described him in his stories Remus had been expecting someone, well, someone like Sirius. It seemed fitting that the three of them would be alike in more than minds, and since Sirius had set up expectations he never thought he had, to actually meet Peter was sort of anticlimactic.

He was a short boy, especially next to the tower that was Sirius. Dirty blonde hair and watery blue eyes, he couldn't be father away in looks if he tried. Not that Remus was really judging him on that, really, compared to the rest of the image, his looks were rather just background noise Remus happened to pick up.

It was the way he acted that really caught Remus' attention. He reminded Remus of a house elf. He was asked questions and answered as best he could, starting out strongly, before petering off into an almost question when he was finished, only continuing if he was sure he had James and Sirius' approval. He was quiet too, save for the questions about Remus and a brief retelling of his summer, he barely spoke a word, preferring to laugh in the gaps where something was needed.

He didn't bat an eye when James explained the werewolf thing, which told Remus that either Peter was a muggleborn and didn't quite comprehend the true disgust he should show to Remus' kind, or, he was so used to all the tales James told about him that it wasn't that frightening meeting him in person. Remus got the feeling he was rather anticlimactic too, for a werewolf.

If there was one thing Remus would remember to keep an eye on however, in all of his assessment of Peter, it was the way he looked at Remus. Not when he was introduced as a werewolf, and not when he learnt Remus would be staying with them. Rather the easy way James lay about him, knocking him about and using him as a pillow. There was almost something possessive in the way Peter looked at the hand Remus used to throw James off his lap, like he was jealous and happy at the same time. It lay just behind his eyes, in the corner of his mouth where it tightened just slightly, and most definitely in his hands, tensed on his lap and relaxing only when James was stretching his long limbs in the compartment.

'Right lads, I have a head boy meeting to get to. So, Rem play nice, don't go murdering Sirius while I'm gone. And you two, get your robes on, we need to make a good first impression. It's our last year after all.'

'Yes mum,' Sirius intoned, Peter laughing easily again as James slid out the compartment.

As soon as that messy head was out of sight Remus made it easier on the other two to not include him and settled down for another nap. He listened with one ear as Peter retold for Sirius more sordid, and probably made up, details of the summer he spent at his uncles' house in Spain. While Remus was sure it was hot over there, he doubted girls, especially the ones he was describing, just happened to wander around topless around him. Still, Sirius was content, and for the next few hours Remus got another comfortable nap.

Once again, and all too soon, he was woke up by the compartment door opening. Sincerely hoping this wouldn't be a regular thing, getting his sleep interrupted, he tried to lift his feet for James to sit down. He shouldn't have bothered, James flopped down between his legs, head on Remus' stomach before he could attempt to sit up.

'What's wrong? Head boy already proving too tough a job?' Peter teased.

'No Pete,' James sneered, 'It's Lily.' Twin groans sounded from Peter and Sirius, the two of them looking sick of their life as they prepared themselves for whatever was coming next. 'For starters, she was pissed that I was named Head Boy. Not only did she have a list she was going to present to McGonagall for better candidates, but she said when the train stopped that if I even tried to herd a first year she was going to hex me purple. Purple, she knows that's not my colour. Then, what's worse is that that when I tried asking her out, hoping that maybe she had softened over the summer, she said she had her eye on someone else. I tried asking her who but she just said he was blonde, cute and none of my business. You think it's someone at school? Maybe that Hufflepuff.'

He could see faces flashing in each boys mind, all of them trying to place blonde, cute and none of their business. Eventually Sirius piped up with something that Remus had heard him say more than once since he'd come to stay with them. 'Listen mate, it's been four years, if she hasn't softened now I don't think she ever will. Maybe you should just let her have this blonde bloke and move on to someone else.'

'Maybe,' James agreed, getting shocked gasps from the other two.

'You're not serious?' Peter asked after a minute, holding his hand up to stop Sirius quipping before he could even think about it. 'Really?'

'Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know,' James groaned, messing his hair up and punching Remus lightly in the stomach while he was at it. 'With everything that's happened it's made me think. I mean, this is our last year, I probably won't see her again after Hogwarts. And really, you're right, if she hasn't warmed up to me yet it's not going to happen. I can't just waste my life on her. Mum wouldn't have wanted that.'

They lapsed into silence, each of them trying to think up ways to cast the thought of Mrs Potter aside. In the end it was the arrival at Hogsmeade that snapped everyone out of their quiet. James took his head boy duties seriously for the next few minutes, telling Remus that as he wasn't a first year he technically wasn't breaking Lily's no interfering rule. He took great pride in telling him to leave the bags, flourishing his arms like a butler as Remus stepped off the train and lead him over to a rather tall man. Well, more than rather tall, he was the tallest man Remus had ever seen. Had it not been for the way he was making himself appear and the kind smile on his face Remus would have been more than a bit hesitant in going over.

He'd seen himself do what this man was doing many a time. A giant in a wizard world was almost as bad as a werewolf- almost. Obviously this man wasn't a real giant, Remus had read those were more wild and lived in mountains, where this man was wearing some makeshift suit and speaking more fluent English than Remus had heard kids in their own town speak. He was happy to go over and get his hand shook, noting the way he hunched in on himself subconsciously, like Remus did sometimes to make himself inferior to those around him.

'Remus eh?' Hagrid grinned, giving his hand another shake, the care took there making Remus grin. 'Dumbledore told me to keep an eye out for you. Off you go Potter, I'll take care of this one from here.'

'You're gonna love it,' James said, nudging him playfully one last time before skipping off to the carriages.

'Nice lad that one,' Hagrid said.

'I know.'

'So, Dumbledore tell you you're gonna be my little helper this year?' Hagrid asked, finally putting to rest the questions Remus had about his role here. 'Nice man Dumbledore, told me all about you.' The praises on Dumbledore's kindness took them to the boats, Hagrid letting Remus ride with him.

The castle, well, the most Remus could say about it was 'wow' his brain going offline as the majestic spires and looming towers illuminated in the sparse windowed candlelight. They dropped the first years off at the front, Hagrid telling him someone else would take them through to the hall while they went through a side entrance.

He was to sit at the staff table, right on the end next to Hagrid when he saw three of the professors already looking ready to bolt if he took one step closer to them.

He supposed there was a lot more to the welcoming feast than eating, but that was all Remus really remembered later. James said there was a speech from Dumbledore, the first years getting sorted and more notices from Filch that had James and Sirius in stitches. Remus tried to remember them, but he supposed he couldn't really be blamed for not remembering. Almost as soon as he sat down Remus' eye was caught on the ceiling. It wasn't just plain or painted, it was enchanted. The whole thing was littered with floating candles, the hundreds of them helping the torches at the sides light up the hall. Above them was the sky, dark and cloudless, it was beautiful. But more than that there was a moon, a moon that looked so real hanging there in the sky, and it was full. This was the first time since he could remember that he'd seen a full moon. Fake as it was, he spent most of the evening entranced in a feeling of amazement and disgust that something so beautiful could cause him so much pain.

Hagrid ended up slipping him a few napkin covered brownies as the feast came to a close, nudging him over to the Gryffindor table with the instructions he was to sleep like the rest of the students. Apparently it was for Remus to feel included, really he knew it was a way for the professors to feel safe in the knowledge that should he attack he would get the students first. All the students had to make them feel safe was the fact that James had kept him under control for the past eleven years.

His bed was a godsend after a summer on a sofa, the pillows soft under his head, and made even better when James threw Remus' bag his way.

'Have fun up there?' James asked, sneaking Remus' brownie from under his nose. 'Sirius thought you looked so cute up there, like a professor. Said he'd gladly get detention from you any day.'

'Very funny,' Remus scoffed, snatching his brownie back. 'So how does this all work?'

James went through their routine, the early morning wake ups and breakfast that the whole school went to, so it was safe to assume Remus was on the same schedule as them for that. Afterwards, well, when Remus told James he was helping Hagrid out, he would probably get more information the next morning.

'So, bed?'

James shrugged, 'If you like. I think Pete and Sirius are going to the kitchens for a midnight snack.'

'You've just ate.'

'I'm a growing boy.'

'Outwards,' Remus agreed.

A pillow hit him square in the face, James launching towards his own bed before Remus could retaliate. 'Don't worry about it Rem, just go to sleep.'

Something that should have been reassuring had Remus not known about James' track record. He knew the moment he said they were going for something to eat it was probably code for something more mischievous. He wasn't surprised when he woke in the dark to sounds of muted laughter. Huffing, he curled closer to his pillow and tried to ignore the blatant evil taking his sleep away.

Thankfully at least one of them was on his side, something hitting one of the others and Sirius telling them to shut it. 'It's not just us anymore Pete.'

'He's asleep.'

'He has sensitive ears,' Sirius hissed. 'and nose. We should probably give a class through the week on how to not piss him off too. Merlin help the first years if they cross him the week before the full moon.'

'Is he really that bad?' Peter asked.

'Nah,' James said, not even trying to keep his voice down. 'Rem's harmless. Even to Sirius.'

A snort, 'He still growls at me.'

'He growls?' Peter squeaked.

'He growls at everyone. Besides that was different. You have to understand that he's been taught to be more wolf than human. He has these instincts that are different to ours. More canine. When you came to our house he felt threatened so he growled and marked his territory. He was different this summer, right?' Some nod of confirmation must have came since James continued. 'It's because it wasn't his home, it had nothing really saying it was yours except the name but he still didn't feel comfortable because, you know, he couldn't make it his. It'll be different here. He has his own bed, which he'll spend all tomorrow night when he's not too tired, littering with his stuff so we know it's his, and he'll mostly be civil. Unless you do piss him off before a full moon which I can't really help you with. That's a whole new level of pissed I don't like to get into.'

Talk, finally, died off about him when Peter made it clear he was uncomfortable with the topic. Especially since Remus was 'right there James.' Which eventually just led to Remus listening to muffled laughter for a few hours before Peter said goodnight.

He was beginning to wonder if they would ever shut up as James and Sirius clambered on to one of their beds still talking. More, he wondered how the hell they even got up for classes if this was their evening schedule. Regardless, he was trying again to sleep when he heard his name mentioned again.

'No, but, what did he say?' Sirius asked.

'He just snorted. He thought I was joking with him.'

'So you don't know if he's, you know, or not?' Sirius pressed.

'No.' A sigh and the bed creaking as James probably stretched himself out followed. 'Look, if you're that interested I don't want to play covert agent anymore. You could probably tell better than I could anyway.'

'You live with him.'

'So do you, now.'

'Fine,' Sirius huffed, footsteps sounding as he went to his own bed, 'But if he thinks I'm being threatening again and tries to maim me I'm haunting you in the next life.'


	10. Chapter 10

Somehow, and Remus didn't know or even begin to guess at, James was the first one up the next morning. What's more, not only was he up, but he was well rested and even chirpy as he bounced on everyone else's beds to wake them up.

'Come on, we have classes this morning!' He dragged Sirius by the foot until he was in the bathroom, the other teen whining the whole way like a dying dog. Peter, wisely, ran off before James could try the same trick twice, which just left James to annoy Remus. Thankfully years of living with James had made him almost immune, which meant Remus got those few precious extra five minutes before he had to get up or be late.

Breakfast was over too quickly for Remus' liking, Hagrid coming in half way through to take him away from the Great Hall and over to his own home. He imagined all sorts of horrors that awaited him on the job. It wasn't that he thought Hagrid was going to try and kill him or anything, but Remus supposed if the job was that hard that a half giant had to do it then Remus wasn't going to last very long.

However, as soon as they got there, Remus was invited in for a cup of tea and some rock cakes. They were tough on the teeth, but overall nice, and not at all what he was expecting for his first day.

'Here, take some more while I get Max ready. He's going to be your responsibility this year.' Five more rock cakes were put into his hand, Hagrid disappearing into what had to be his bedroom and returning with a mastiff.

His duties with Max consisted of twice daily walks and feeding him, a chore Remus was all too happy to take on. The castle was picturesque enough that it had Remus itching to go outside himself and take a walk, and since Max was an old dog, the two of them managed to make the most of their time outdoors. This particular morning saw the two of them chasing butterflies all the way back to Hagrid's hut, Remus trying to remember the last time he had just enjoyed himself like this.

Of course, it wasn't all fun and games. When he wasn't tending to Max he was to help Hagrid on his rounds. It differed on a day to day basis, Hagrid telling them they were the ones responsible for keeping this place running. Today they were helping Grubby Plank gather the unicorns for Care of Magical creatures. Surprisingly, the unicorns were quite happy to have them around.

'It's cause you're not quite human. If you were, these creatures would be shying away.' Which, Remus didn't know whether he was happy about or not. It was one thing to be told he wasn't human by wizards, and quite another for it to be sensed by creatures.

'They should be shying away regardless,' Remus remarked, even as he marvelled at the soft muzzle he was touching. 'I would probably try and eat them on a full moon.'

'Probably,' Hagrid agreed, not looking at all revolted by the idea like most people were.

It didn't take long for Remus to figure out why. Along with being a half breed himself, Hagrid seemed to be fascinated with the dangerous and deadly creatures that lived in the world. He confessed he'd always wanted his own dragon while they were setting up brooms for the first year's flying lessons. That, and he kept telling Remus how misunderstood this or that creature was, even as Remus remembered what their classification was on the Ministry scale.

Overall, it was an interesting way to spend the day, and tided Remus over until four. Hagrid sent him out for Max's second walk, telling him to get himself along when he was done to the great hall for dinner.

The feast that night was better than the one before, but that could have just been because Remus didn't really remember his first feast. He managed to pile his plate high with food before aghast looks from other professors had him slowing down. Still, that didn't stop him from stealing a few cupcakes when the call went up to return to their dorms.

He was munching on them happily when James started his interrogation about his day. He was more than disappointed when Remus said they had him doing nothing more than helping out.

'What did you expect?'

James shrugged, 'I don't know. A rogue centaur herd, an infestation of boggarts. Something interesting.'

Remus laughed, stopping in the middle as the thought came that something like that probably would happen while he was at Hogwarts, and knowing his luck he would be made to help out with it. 'Well, nothing like that happened today.'

With nothing left to add, Remus started on James' day, wondering if he really had kept his promise to focus on his career or delved back into that troublemaking teen Remus knew was lurking beneath the surface. It turned out it was a bit of both. James managed to be both studious, paying attention in class and even answering questions when the need arose, and mischievous by subtly messing up someone's potion. By the time Sirius and Peter clambered into the dorm, probably coming back from a prank James had not so subtly hinted at, Remus was helping James with his homework, James actually doing it for once.

The next day was much like the first, a walk with Max and then helping Hagrid out when he was done. This time it was chopping logs for the castles fires. 'Gotta get this stuff done early,' Hagrid said, hauling a log almost twice his size like it was nothing. 'Come winter all this stuff'll be wet, and what good will that be eh?'

Thankfully manual labour such as this was made easier by, probably, one of the few perks of being a werewolf. He had excellent stamina, and endurance enough to haul log after log over to the castle stores and back when others would have stopped.

He was on his thirteenth trip, the log heavy on his shoulders when he realised he had a bit of a crowd. Well, three people anyway, and at the front was the girl he'd seen on the train. Her friends weren't even trying to hide how scared they were, standing a full metre away from the girl and trying to call her back.

She didn't listen, and was standing in front of Remus before any other action could be taken. 'Need a hand?' As if Remus had any say in the matter. She'd already discarded her robe and was grabbing the other end of the log before she'd finished speaking. They set it down, Remus seeing the girls friends following them at a distance. 'So, you're a werewolf.'

Interesting way to start, Remus thought. 'Yes.'

'And you're what? Working for Dumbledore?'

'Well, Hagrid,' Although he supposed he was working for Dumbledore. 'And I'm more helping out than working. Werewolves aren't really allowed a job. Not paid anyway.'

She crossed her arms, something telling Remus this was a regular look on her from the ease in which she did it. 'Everyone's saying you're staying with Potter. If you work for Hagrid why are you in the dorms?'

Remus shrugged, not sure how exactly to word it. In the end he just settled for what was basically right. 'He's my master.'

'What, like he owns you?' she asked. Remus nodded, although something told him he probably shouldn't have. It might have had something to do with the horrified look on her face. 'That's barbaric. You're not a slave, why the hell does he own you?'

'It's just the way things are done.' He was growing rather uncomfortable with the conversation, not least because he could see her bra through her white shirt. Really, for girls who had been wearing the same uniform for the past who knew how many years, he would have thought hey would learn that bright colours weren't easily hid through white. He would almost think she was trying to impress someone had he not been so fixated in finding an excuse to leave. Eventually he remembered the reason he was there in the first place, hinting towards the logs and leaving the girl to her fuming in peace.

He wasn't surprised to see James storm up to the head table that night at dinner. He was looking decidedly green, like all over green which had to be from some spell or another. 'Who've you been talking to? You know what, don't answer that. But if they comes asking again, tell them to piss off.'

'Why?'

James shook his head telling Remus the confrontation he'd had from a few muggleborns that afternoon. Not only did they have a go at him about keeping another human being prisoner, but hexed him when he tried to defend himself. 'They just don't understand. They were talking about going to the ministry,' and they both knew that if the ministry thought for a moment James wasn't taking his responsibility seriously Remus was going to end up with a silver bullet through his head.

'I didn't mean to-'

'No, it's not you. It's them. Just tell them to piss off Rem.'

James' bad mood was enough to send him off on a prank that night, One that had the great hall filled with Cornish pixies and girly underwear. He could see the girl he'd talk to yesterday eagerly grabbing a few things with a decidedly red blush on her face as the others came down for breakfast.

The prank seemed like it had deterred the girl from speaking to him again. For a whole two weeks he was left in peace, growing used to the routine and demands that came with being Hagrid's little helper. By the end of September he was surprised at how much he was enjoying himself. Sure, it was hard work, but Remus had seen and done things he never thought he would. He'd talked to centaurs, and thankfully not a rogue herd. He'd seen mermaids, ghosts and a number of nifflers that had decided they liked him enough to hang around for a few hours. He'd helped with Herbology, getting a few lessons himself when Professor Sprout saw him looking at one thing or another.

It was a good month overall.

Of course, it had to come to an end sooner or later. The first moon of the month came on October 1st, a decidedly horrid day for more than one reason.

He'd woken up in a foul mood, the other three in the dorm deciding that they were going to have another late night and keeping him awake too with their merriment. He tried to ignore them when he woke up, knowing that Peter was already on edge with him after James had declared loudly last Thursday that it was Remus' 'time of the month.' Easier said than done when he lived with them. They were loud, too loud for Remus' sensitive hearing. They left smells everywhere, most of them he'd been able to ignore since he'd grown used to the idea of sharing. But it was one thing to have the rest of the room be covered in their stuff and waking to find one of his shirts on Sirius' bed. He thought Sirius earned the glare for that stunt, James herding him out of the room before more could be done.

'Okay Remmy, lots of meat for breakfast and then off to the hospital wing with you,' James ordered. 'Hagrid already knows you won't be there today, so no excuses.'

Breakfast he was like a pariah. Any friends he had made on the staff seemed to have forgotten that, since not only did they keep a wide berth, but told any students to avoid his end of the table as well. He may have bitten into his breakfast with more teeth than necessary in response to that. Hagrid at least, treated him no different. He'd even baked him some rock cakes to take to the hospital wing with him. Too bad the nice treats were like ash in his mouth, almost making him retch as the only thing his stomach wanted now was meat.

He managed to get a good few hours nap in at the hospital wing, the matron, a nice woman, woke him every so often to take his temperature. Apparently this was the first time she'd tended to a werewolf, an experience she would no doubt be regretting the next morning. The way Remus had come to look at it was people would always be fascinated until they saw what it really entailed. Until he turned up the next morning with limbs missing and scratches on scratches littering his body.

Early evening, when his temper was at an all time high, he saw the girl James had warned him to keep away from poke her head into the hospital wing.

'Leave,' he bit out before she could even try to talk to him.

She didn't listen, venturing further in and stopping before his bed. 'I suppose Potter told you to say that. He wasn't pleased when I told him how sick this whole thing was.'

'The only thing sick here is you meddling. Leave,' he growled, not surprised at how inhuman it sounded.

For the first time she looked slightly frightened. Good, he thought. Yet still she didn't leave. 'Look, I want to help you. What they're doing to you is wrong, and I know this isn't the best time to be telling you this, but Potter's had you on watch for the past few weeks so this is the only time I could get to you.'

He tried to be civil, he did. 'As nice as that sounds, you're doing more harm than good. Now if you don't mind I'm a few hours away from ripping myself to shreds and I would appreciate not having to talk to you before that. So leave.'

She huffed, but complied, and was out of the hospital wing in time for Remus to get another hours sleep.

Her words followed him all the way to the shack, circling around his head and pulling up questions on what was going to happen this time. Was she going to go after James again? Was she really going to go to the ministry? Had she already? For all he knew there would be a horde of Auror's there in the morning waiting to take him out.

The moon wasn't a good one.

He woke more disorientated than usual, and considering the stream of bad moons he'd been having this year, he was surprised that his threshold for a bad moon was, once again, being reconsidered. His neck hurt when he moved it, his nose following the familiar smell among the medical potions until the only thing it could scent was James. Those wild curls were poking him in the eye, but Remus was willing to forgive it. His ears picked up the long ingrained snores as the rest of his body started to come back online. He almost wished it hadn't as the familiar pin pricks of pain and new scars started almost immediately.

He had thought it was night, yet the light was too bright to be a candle. James must have skipped class then, or Remus had slept through the whole of Friday. Both were a good possibility. It took a while before the matron came to check on them, seeming unsurprised to see James which meant he'd been there a while. She had to pry James away from him to get a potion down his throat, Remus' pin pricks almost disappearing as soon as he'd downed it.

'Poor thing,' she tutted, Remus not knowing whether she meant him or James in that moment as she went to look over her other patients.

Awake, James scurried up to the seat next to the bed. 'It's Saturday. You had quite the wound when they brought you in.' James theorized that either the wolf was aggravated or just itchy. In any case it tried to scratch Remus' neck, the claws imbedding themselves and tearing out a good chunk of skin and even a bone. Apparently it was just before morning, otherwise, and Remus could see the fear, he wouldn't have made it. 'Don't suppose anything happened before the moon?'

He thought back, remembering the girl. Still, he shook his head. A confrontation wouldn't do any good. She said she wanted to help, and from the way she talked about James there was no way he would be able to get through to her. He would have to do it himself. Make her understand that this wasn't as bad as she thought it was.

Until then however, he was stuck in the hospital wing re-growing a bone in his neck. James, thankfully, had chocolate, as well as Hagrid's rock cakes he'd neglected to eat before the moon to keep him occupied. Sirius came in at some point, more sweets on his person to have Remus letting him stay.

Around the time the chocolate frogs had been demolished Remus noticed some kind of silent conversation happening. A raised eyebrow, a pointed nod and elbow from Sirius later James was turning to Remus with the weirdest, bordering on creepiest, smile he'd ever seen on his face. 'So, Rem... Sirius and I were having this, sort of, conversation the other night and, well, you came up, actually that's a poor choice of words. Anyway, we were wondering if you, you know, had urges like other kids our age?'

'What kind of urges?' Although he had a pretty good idea from the red overtaking James' face. Sirius seemed to be pretending nothing was actually happening, his gaze elsewhere as James made a rude hand gesture. Remus didn't really know what to do with that, too tired to even attempt to analyse it, which was probably why James had chosen this as the best time to ask him. 'You're wondering whether I toss off?'

'Well I never see you,' James pointed out.

'I should bloody well hope so. Why did this even come up?'

'Well Pete and I were talking about that girl he'd met over the summer, which led to girls in our year. And then we had a little fight about who was better looking, and since Sirius couldn't break the stalemate I thought of you, but then Pete asked whether you even liked- girls,' Remus thought the real word there was humans, James just omitting it for politeness. 'and Sirius said of course because you are a healthy seventeen year old. But when Pete asked for proof, well, I've never heard you, and you've never like had a shirt or made a midnight sheet run.'

Remus bit back a smirk at the memories that brought up. Obviously at school it wouldn't be that bad to wake up with wet sheets, but when your parents made daily inspections and did the washing it made for an embarrassing talk. Remus had been employed during those years before James had figured out a new system, to handle James' washing in exchange for wizard sweets he'd bring back from Hogsmeade. He missed those days, more than he thought he ever would he missed them.

'Well, you're going to have to continue to wonder since I'm not answering you.'

A pout settled on James' face, 'Oh come on. At least answer whether you like girls or not. Or is it guys? You know I'm not too judgy Remus. Even if you say you find Hagrid's dog attractive, just give me something. Please?'

'No.' He thought about it, 'I don't know. Can we talk about something else?'

Another private conversation was had, James scowling over at Sirius before a nod had them talking about what they thought their Quidditch chances were this year.


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as he was allowed out of the hospital wing Remus asked to go to the library. He had more than a feeling he wasn't allowed there unsupervised, especially after the debacle the other day where he dared to go through the Gryffindor common room alone. It wasn't as if he could look through the books he owned either. The only books they had to their name were the ones Sirius and James had bought over the summer for their NEWTs. All other books, Remus' beautiful bookcase back in his old room, now belonged to Mr Potter's brother.

It took some debating and quite a lot of whining before James took Remus to the library. Even then he didn't take him through the day, deeming he had a status to maintain. Instead, they went under the cover of night, Sirius and Peter going with them until the other two split off to make their way to the kitchens. James used the excuse of his Head Boy rounds to sneak Remus through the corridors, telling him to be quick when they got to the library. How Remus expected to be quick, however, when he finally got there was beyond him. The whole place was like a labyrinth, a mass of shelf after shelf full of books. It took more than five minutes to even figure out their system, long enough to have James coming in to have a whinge.

'What are you even looking for?' James asked, fingering the books in front of him in distaste.

'Werewolf laws.'

That had James' attention. 'Why are you wanting werewolf laws?'

Remus shrugged, hoping he looked more nonchalant than he was, 'Thought I'd read up on my rights.'

James narrowed his eyes, but nevertheless lead him through a series of walkways until they came to the Dark Arts section. Werewolves had a whole bookcase to themselves. Remus knew that after the attack authors and wizards who thought they were experts on the subject went mad with theories and histories on why such a thing would happen. He'd heard Mrs Potter complain more than once when they went to a book shop. She said if they really were such experts then none of what happened the night Remus was bitten would have.

The book Remus wanted was easy to spot, he'd had his own copy in his old room after all. The book safely tucked under his arm, and James reassuring him that it wouldn't be missed, they made their way back to the dorm to get the scraps Sirius and Peter had left for them.

He'd hoped finding the girl would be easy now that he had a plan on how to confront her, and it was. He saw her in the great hall every morning, and in the common room on an evening. Finding her, turned out, wasn't where the problem lay. Instead he was actually getting her alone. Both times before she had tracked him down, had cornered him. It had been on her terms in effect. This time it wasn't, and Remus, no matter how good his intentions were, couldn't just walk up to her. So he had to think up another plan.

'Where's James?' Remus asked one evening. He'd finished his day with Hagrid and scoffed down his food as fast as he could in the great hall, hoping to get back to the common room before everyone else. He did, but had to wait a while before anyone else came back to the dorm. That someone else being Sirius.

'He's got detention.'

Remus didn't even want to touch on that right now. He had more important things to be worrying about. 'You'll have to do then. Can you wait down in the common room with me?'

Thankfully, Sirius read the earnestness of the situation and kept his mouth shut until they were perched on the sofa in the common room.

'We might be here a while,' Remus warned.

'That's fine.'

While they waited Remus flipped through the book, remembering each paragraph as it showed. He'd spent many of his first months, years, divesting the book. Partly so he wouldn't be chucked out if he did something out of line. Mostly because he didn't understand what he was, and really this was the first thing that had some kind of information about his condition.

He was skimming werewolf mating laws when Sirius spoke up again, 'So, I never asked, how are you settling in? Is your neck okay?'

His neck tingled in phantom pain. Madame Pomphrey was a miracle worker, he had him patched up in hours, the skin and bone regrown and almost untouched from his claws. He had been shocked when he saw himself in the mirror, expecting a mess of scars on his throat. Instead, there was barely anything. Remus wondered how much better he would have looked if every healer he'd seen showed the same care Madame Pomphrey did. Still, he couldn't complain, the only times he had ever had to see a healer was when he was a bad moon, the other times had been Mr and Mrs Potter. While not healers, they more than made up for their lack of skill in other ways. Mainly being the best people Remus had ever met.

'It's fine,' he said, touching the faint line lightly. 'And I'm find. Hagrid's nice.'

'That's good,' Sirius nodded, shuffling in his seat like he was gearing up for an awkward talk.

Remus put him out of his misery. 'You don't have to talk to me. As soon as James is back you can leave.'

Sirius narrowed his eyes, looking like he was trying to read more into what Remus had said. He didn't know why, he didn't have any underlying subtext in his words. Sirius didn't have to feel any obligation to him, it wasn't his fault they were down there.

The silence fell again, Remus going back to his book. Werewolves weren't allowed to mate, how nice for them. They weren't allowed to be unsupervised with a member of the opposite sex. If a female werewolf found herself pregnant she had one of two options.

'So, Remus, you're mature and stuff,' Sirius said, drawing him, once again, away from his book.

'I guess.'

Sirius was the epitome of uncomfortable. Compared to the hospital wing that Sirius was calm and collected. This one was shaking his leg so much it brushed against Remus' every other bounce. His head was down, eyes flickering in every direction and never landing on Remus. His hands were clenched together on his lap, the fingers white where they interlaced. Remus supposed talking to him really could be stressful, he hadn't exactly made himself the most easiest person to talk to. What with all the growling and standoffishness he exerted when they first met. But Sirius persisted despite it all. 'So, what would you do if you liked someone and you wanted to know if they liked you too?'

Remus wondered if Sirius had been looking over his shoulder. Regardless, he thought about it, and shrugged. 'I don't know, ask them?'

'Yeah, but what if you wanted to be more subtle than that?' Sirius pressed.

Remus shrugged again. 'I've never really thought about it. You know, James or Peter might have better answers than me.' Anyone would have better answers than him. Considering Peter had actually got a girl to talk to him over the summer, and seemed to have gotten the attention of a sixth year Hufflepuff, Sirius really should have been asking him.

Yet the thought of getting advice from James and Peter had Sirius in stitches, laughing until he was red in the face. 'Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but they're not exactly good with romance.'

'Neither am I,' Remus pointed out.

'Yeah but you're you,' Sirius said like that explained everything. 'Anything you say will be twelve times more helpful than what they say. So?'

Reus thought about it more carefully, 'I guess you could test the waters then.' He thought about the scarce romance novels he'd read over the years, including that racy werewolf one James got him for Christmas. Sure, they had all been fake, and half of it absolute rubbish, but they had some defining moments in them that stopped Remus from putting them down altogether. 'Maybe spend some time with them and see how they react around you. Or do something nice for them.'

'I like that first one,' Sirius said, starting to relax into his seat.

Remus had a spark of inspiration, something that would probably amount to nothing but he thought there was no harm in suggesting anyway. 'Why don't you tell me who they are? I could maybe keep an eye out for them. See things from another perspective and tell you if you have a chance. Or even talk you up to them. James doesn't know this so don't tell him, but I've seen some purebloods use their werewolves to sing their praises to whoever they like. Apparently the thought of their pets being treated well gives them a good sense to their owner. Like when someone sees a cute dog.'

If anything Sirius looked more uncomfortable with that suggestion, immediately telling Remus he didn't have to bother. Insisting that it wasn't a bother to do so Remus finally got a name.

'Moony?'

'It's a nickname,' Sirius defended. Remus got the feeling he didn't want to outwardly admit his crush just yet. He understood. In the books he read the boys were usually the more embarrassed about their feelings. Still, Sirius went on, almost like Remus twisting his face at the name had invoked his romantic notions. 'You know, a codename, so like when James and I talk about them they don't know we're talking about them. Like we call that Ravenclaw…'

Remus thought the universe was on Sirius' side, since his struggling to come up with a name for the Ravenclaw took long enough for the girl he was waiting for the come through the portrait hole. Bouncing up, he blocked her path before she could disappear to somewhere he definitely couldn't follow.

He thrust the book out between them. 'Here. It's for you.'

She took the book, her eyes flitting across the title before her face twisted, 'Werewolf law?'

He held his hands up, a sign of peace so she knew he wasn't going to have a go at her. 'I know I was kind of rude last time we spoke. It wasn't nice, and I'm sorry. But you have to understand what you're meddling with. The law says I have to have a master, and considering the other candidates out there I came out quite lucky. What you're doing, suggesting, is nice and all, but if you try to fight it, it's just going to end badly for me. James is in a really bad situation already. He doesn't have a house to keep me in, he doesn't have the security which should have meant I went to his uncle. But Dumbledore managed to fight for us, and he didn't specify what would happen, but we've known for years the consequences of what happens if the pureblood can't handle their werewolf anymore. If you file a complaint I won't be taken away from James and given to someone else, I don't have freedom. If they take me away they'll think I'm too much of a burden and kill me. If you don't believe me it's all in there. Just think before you talk again. Please?'

He went back to Sirius, seeing the boy on the highest alert he'd ever seen him. It took little coercing to get him back to the dorm, the two of them going their separate ways now Remus could finally relax for the evening. James came back when it was late. Chucking a cupcake Remus' way, he made a slight complaint about Filch before collapsing on to his bed. Peter was back even later, a rather smug look on his face that had James and Sirius hopping up from their dozes to interrogate him about his whereabouts. As soon as the mention of his Hufflepuff admirer came up Remus guessed the rest and tuned them out. Sirius really should have went to Peter instead of him.

The next week Remus heard nothing from the girl.

Instead he made another friend. It happened when he was out with Max, the two of them touring Hogwarts grounds again. Remus may have been taking advantage of one of the few hot days left and dawdling slightly. But it was almost dinner and Hagrid had already told him he was done for the day.

He was sitting on the wide lawn, watching the birds fly into the whomping willow, a tree that had been grown especially for him apparently, when he heard a gentle woof. Max was still making his way from the latest tree he'd decided to pee against, which was too far away for Remus to have heard him as clearly as he did. Which meant-

He turned to find another dog sitting docilely a few feet away. It was huge, about the same size as Max. Its fur was long and glossy, reminding Remus of Sirius' hair in colour. It even kind of smelt like Sirius, which actually explained a lot if Sirius had spent half of his school days hanging around a dog.

Nevertheless it didn't appear dangerous, and Max seemed happy enough to greet him, so Remus didn't bother shooing it away. Seeing it was welcome, the dog ventured closer, crawling on his stomach when he got close enough until it stopped a hands breath away. It made a whine, sniffing and poking its nose onto Remus' hand until he stroked the soft muzzle in front of him.

'Where did you come from then?' There wasn't a collar, or anything else that would mark it as someone's pet. Remus would have thought it a stray had it not been so well groomed. Not to mention a bit pudgy around the middle. 'What's your name then? Smoky?' the dog sneezed, looking for all the world like it was shaking its head while it did so. 'It's not Sirius is it?' the dog seemed to freeze, 'It would be just like him to name something after himself.' The dog relaxed, rolling onto its back. 'No, that's unkind. Sirius isn't all that bad. He's not even all that vain either. Not like he should be.' Two grey eyes looked up at him, seeming to question him about that. Remus scratched the dogs ears, chuckling slightly when one foot started to hammer slightly. 'I gotta go in. Sorry. How about we go back to Hagrids? I'm sure he can look after you while I ask around after your owners.'

At the word owners the dog was off like a shot, running over the grassy hills before Remus could even try to grab it. He chased it slightly before he realised the dog was long gone and went back to his other charge. Max was eager to get home, no doubt looking forward to his own dinner, which had Remus wondering if the dog had merely gotten off its collar and was back with its owners now. It could belong to a student, maybe the dog was able to find its way back to its master on its own. In any case thoughts of the dog followed him all the way through dinner and his evening in the dorm.

He barely noticed when Sirius appeared before him until the bed dipped. He was dressed for bed, well, as dressed as Sirius got for bed which wasn't much. With only some muggle bottoms on that Remus had bought for him over the summer it was hard not to look at the skin in front of him. All that pale, unmarked skin. He didn't know whether to be jealous or admire it, jealousy winning out slightly as he saw one of his own scar striped hands.

'I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade,' Sirius suggested. There was an air of confidence about him, one Remus had never seen before when in relation to himself.

'What's that?'

A brief reminder of the weekend trips they got out to the wizarding village and Sirius asked again. 'It's just, James has head boy duties for most of the morning, introducing third years to Hogsmeade and all that, and I think Peter's going to Puddifoots- don't ask. Since you're getting the whole Hogwarts experience this year I thought you'd like to go. With me. You can say no.'

'Oh.' Hogsmeade. He thought he'd heard James mention it a few times. That was where he got most of his pranking supplies. Also where the sweet shop was located. 'Is it anything like Diagon Alley?'

Sirius thought for a while, 'There's wizard shops if that's what you mean. Also a pub. And locals. Kind of like Diagon. I think people will be nice to you though, they have been so far.'

They've been pretending he didn't exist so far. With actual adult wizards about he didn't know how comfortable he was about going. Still. 'How long would we be there for?'

'Long enough for me to buy prank supplies and James to finish his duties,' Sirius said. 'If you want to leave earlier though I can always just sneak back.'

It sounded tempting. 'Can I buy some sweets?'

Sirius grinned, the pair of them hearing the yes unspoken in the air. 'I'll buy you a whole basket again if you like.'

'Just a few bars will do,' He found himself grinning too. He wondered what other kinds of sweets they had.

He heard Sirius tell James later about their Hogsmeade date, although date wouldn't be the word Remus used to describe what was going to happen.

'Nice one,' James said, actually keeping his voice down for once.

'I know. That's not all though, when I was asking him, he didn't growl at me once. And, he kept staring at my chest. It looked like he wanted to gouge my skin out but, you know-' It was better than him actually doing it, Remus finished, wondering just how violent Sirius thought he was.

He would have to be nice to him at Hogsmeade. He might even get a few more bars of chocolate out of it if he did.


	12. Chapter 12

Remus' day at Hogsmeade didn't get off to the best of starts. James woke him up exceptionally early, the two of them grabbing breakfast in the great hall while the other two woke up. There, Remus was given a list of things to get while James was busy attending his head boy duties. That part Remus didn't mind too much, it gave him a purpose for being in Hogsmeade, and not just standing around while Sirius looked at this or that. Not to mention he was given a nice little bag of change himself to spend in any shop he liked, so that too made breakfast bearable.

No, the part in which Remus agreed got off to a bad start was after breakfast, when he was dressed, eager and waiting by the carriages. Waiting, and waiting and waiting. Hordes of third years and above passed him in the time he waited there, all of them herded into carriages and drove off by those strange looking horses to Hogsmeade. All of them but Remus.

James came by more than once with excuses for why Sirius would be late. He was a late sleeper when he didn't have to get up for something. He was probably showering. Peter had probably hexed him or something, although, the excuses involving Peter grew fewer and fewer when Peter himself came out of the castle arm in arm with a girl that sent James making kissy faces at them. After that the only thing James could really say was that Sirius probably had some good reason or another, before he too was called away by McGonagall on other head boy duties.

It was probably as the last of the carriages were leaving that Sirius finally made an appearance, the cause for why he was so late plain in the way he was dressed. There was nothing casual about him, all the way from his hair carefully styled to the thin shirt he wore told Remus he was out to impress. Finally the dots connected as Sirius made his apologies and almost ran them over to the carriages. He was going to try his luck with this Moony today. He probably had wanted Remus around to make him look better. Some part of him felt pleased that his advice was being taken, enough that the earlier anger he had towards Sirius melted into understanding.

The carriage ride itself was nothing to boast about, the strange horses were well trained and hardly made any fuss as they trekked the familiar route to Hogsmeade. They stopped at a certain spot, waiting just long enough for Sirius and Remus to hop out before they were on their way over to a paddock where, already, since Sirius had taken so long, there were students waiting to be taken back to Hogwarts.

Hogsmeade was like something out of a doll village, all thatched houses and old signs. It was quainter than Diagon Alley, and since most of the population were underage wizards and witches Remus didn't feel quite as threatened as he did when he was at Diagon. Nevertheless, the small village wasn't completely without its trials, the first one presenting itself almost as soon as they started walking the streets.

Sirius had decided fashion was more important than survival, his thin shirt and jeans leaving him shivering after a few steps as the icy autumn winds started beating against them. Remus himself was trying to keep warm by shoving his hands into pockets, mitted as they were, and didn't dare to think what they would be like if he hadn't had them on. Whoever this Moony was had better be worth the chill Sirius would no doubt get.

'So, where to first?' Remus asked, already spying the Honeydukes sign near the back of the line of shops. No doubt they would be going there last. Probably a good thing too. He took out James' list when Sirius could do more than chatter his teeth, handing it over to the shivering boy so they could make their way to the first item on it.

James, of course, had mostly pranking supplies on his list of priorities. No matter what he said about keeping a level head and focusing on his studies he was still James Potter, and James Potter was a pranker at heart. He couldn't just turn it off, no matter how hard he tried, and Remus had seen him try. So the first place they went to was Zonko's, Sirius visibly drooping from the warmth as they stepped in.

It was like a paradise for pranksters, dungbombs and invisible ink the tamest things on the shelves. Sirius made a beeline for the counter, talking with the man behind it like they were old friends. Remus left him to it in favour of collecting the many items James thought were necessary for his day to day life. Why he needed ten dungbombs was beyond Remus, but it was on the list so into the basket it went. By the time he met up with Sirius at the counter he had more than half the list complete.

They spent the majority of an hour in Zonko's. Firstly because there was something special Sirius had ordered for some prank or another and the man behind the counter was trying to get more money out of him. Secondly, because even when Remus managed to intimidate the man down to his original price with a well aimed glare and a show of his scars, Sirius was reluctant to leave the warmth of the shop, dawdling along the shelves and pretending neither of them knew what was really going on.

Eventually, Remus sacrificed his mittens to Sirius, if only so he could get out and to somewhere new. It wasn't that he didn't like the shop, more like someone had been less than careful with their items and now the whole shop was stinking up faster than the boys dorm on a hot day.

'You should have brought a coat,' Remus told him as they walked to the next shop on James' list. 'You have that black one we bought over the summer.' A shopping trip Remus would rather like to forget. If it was hard herding James and Sirius around wizarding shops it was near impossible in muggle. Remus ended up sending them out more than once in favour of getting their clothes himself. It was hard during that trip not to think about all his clothes left back at his house, the ones that Mr and Mrs Potter had just bought him for his birthday. He snapped back to the present, catching Sirius subtly try to warm his arms with Remus' mittens. 'You know you're more than handsome without showing off. I'm sure Moony won't mind if you dress down this one occasion.'

Sirius cast wide eyes over to him, 'Moony?'

'The person you're impressing. I can't think this was for my benefit after all.' He spared a laugh just thinking about Sirius dressing up for him. 'Don't worry, I don't mind. It's nice here.'

Sirius didn't say anything, the two of them heading into the robes shop where Remus got James a new Quidditch jumper and himself a new scarf when he saw it scribbled on the list. He gave a little grin at the side note James had put alongside it, _so I know you're cheering me on,_ glad to note that Sirius was at least buying himself a scarf as well.

They were on their way to Honeydukes, finally, when Sirius spoke up again, looking decidedly warmer in his scarf. 'What if I was.'

'Was what?' Remus asked when he didn't elaborate.

Sirius shrugged, trying to look nonchalant as he held the door open for him. 'Dressing up for you. What if I was?'

'Why would you do that?'

Sirius shrugged again, the action showing off just how thin, and actually quite small the shirt was. It must have been old, something that was a cast off from last year or bought while he was at school since Remus had never came across it in their washing. The jeans too were quite well fitted, all something someone would wear to catch someone's eye, like on a date, or hoping it would garner them some attention as they passed by. Nothing that would be worn on an outing with Remus.

Honeydukes quickly wiped all thoughts of Sirius' oddness. As soon as they stepped through the door Remus thought he'd went to some kind of heaven. More types of chocolate than Remus knew existed dominated one wall, the rest of the shop showing row after row of magical sweets that had his mouth watering just looking at them. James' things were easy to find, and quickly paid for, Remus tossing the last of the list in with the others before he got his own little bag of money out and counted how much sweet, sweet contraband he could take back with him to the castle.

Quite a lot as it turned out, Remus skipping his way through Hogsmeade afterwards, a nice sugar quill in his mouth as Sirius took him to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with James. Butterbeer wasn't something Remus had a particular acquaintance with, although when he tasted it he could see why the line to get more was out the door.

They managed to find seats near the back of the pub, Sirius not needing his scarf at all thanks to the heat students and teachers alike were giving off. After five minutes Remus himself was sweating in his coat, quickly putting it to the side so he could dig out another sugar quill to munch on.

'James must be stuck with Evans,' Sirius said, not looking too displeased with that fact. He seemed more comfortable now there were people around. Witnesses, some part of Remus' mind whispered, like Sirius had something to fear being alone with him. 'Anywhere you want to go after this? I think Peter might be heading off towards the Shrieking... or we could head to the post office. I hear they have new owls in.'

'Nice save.' The Shrieking shack he'd heard was quite popular today. Something about seeing where a werewolf spent his full moons appealing to the more dangerous side of Hogwarts students. 'But I think I might just let you and James enjoy the rest of your day. Get this stuff back to the castle and have a nap.' And eat, he added on, knowing there was a limited amount of time between James not knowing and James trying to steal his chocolate.

'Oh.' Sirius floundered, looking around like someone would save him, before turning back to Remus with a determined look. 'Look, you don't have to.'

'I know. But you and James will probably want to go looking for Moony so, I don't mind heading back.'

At the mention of Moony Sirius sighed, nodding before slumping down in his seat. 'At least let me walk you to the carriages,' he compromised.

The pair of them sat in silence for the whole half hour it took for James to stumble in to the Three Broomsticks. As soon as he did, Sirius was up and sliding his way towards him, the two of them waiting in line for more butterbeers. Remus made sure to down the rest of his, sorting his own bags from James' as he waited for Sirius to finish up and take him to the carriages.

The pair of them came strutting over more satisfied than they had been walking in, Sirius telling James to keep their seats as he put on his scarf and Remus' gloves. The carriages were a good way away, the silence between the two of them more than enough for Remus to wish he hadn't agreed with Sirius' request.

About half way there something brushed against his hand, the familiar wool on his skin telling that it was Sirius. It came again after a second, and again, until Sirius was gently holding his hand.

'You look cold,' Sirius said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on their joined hands.

'I am.'

It was a bit weird. He hadn't held anyone's hand since he was ten, Mr Potter finally letting him run loose on his own when he proved he wouldn't run off like James did if he let go. A few students stared, but for the most part they kept on without commenting, and Remus didn't pay much attention to them when they did. Sirius seemed to be quite comfortable with it too, swinging their hands slightly as they walked, he was practically beaming when Remus chanced a look, his gaze firmly fixed ahead.

They got to the carriages, easily finding one that would take him back to the castle. Sure, a few students hopped off when they realised he would be alone with them, but they didn't tell him to walk back, so Remus took it as a win.

Sirius didn't let go of his hand, not even when the odd horses started getting restless. It took Remus notably pulling away for him to come back from wherever he'd been and drop it.

The ride back was just as it was on the way there, nothing really to note. The castle, when he got there, was mostly empty, the dorm perfect for hiding his new purchases. It didn't take long, and after a few chocolate frogs Remus had the rest of the afternoon to himself. For the first time since he got to Hogwarts he had time to himself, without James, Sirius or Peter being there in the background, or duties to attend to.

He didn't know what to do with himself. Napping would seem the best idea. It was what he'd told Sirius he would do. But somehow he was too wired for one- his brain said too much sugar while his heart told it there was no such thing.

Eventually he went looking through James' stuff for something to read, his own things sparse since no one had thought it might be a nice idea to take him to the library again. A few spell books stood out, as well as a Quidditch magazine. But by the time Remus found them he realised he'd been cleaning half of James' trunk as he went. Productive as it was, it wasn't how he wanted to spend his time alone.

Sirius' side of the room had far more interesting things to read, and Remus didn't even have to go looking through his trunk- not that he would. Sirius was more of a messy liver. His trunk stayed closed so long as he was travelling, but if he found a place to call his own he ended up exploding all over it. Remus was half sure there was nothing actually in Sirius' trunk anymore. Here was a shirt that tripped over his feet, there a book on grindylows, and peaking from under his mattress a very unsubtle porn magazine.

It took a second look for Remus to see what had caught his eye. It wasn't a woman on the front, posing and moving about like he'd seen in the ones James had showed him when they were thirteen. This one had a man on it. It was old, the page worn from so many times being turned, and looking to be sticking slightly to the one below it. Remus supposed this must have been a favourite since Sirius hadn't bothered to close it, and while the thought of invading someone's privacy like this was rather skin crawling for him, he couldn't help his curiosity as he fingered it further out from beneath the mattress to get a better look.

It was different to the magazine James had, that one full of girls just trying too hard. This one knew its clientele and knew they had their interest, so the photo was more natural, at least with this one. The guy was blond, kind of skinny as opposed to the stereotypical muscles that he'd heard girls fawn over. The photo moved, the guy squirming in his seat with his hands dipping beneath his underwear every now and then. It was, different, and more than enough to have Remus contemplating his rather convenient time alone.

He'd never really thought about sex, that much he'd told James was true. But late at night he couldn't exactly tell his subconscious what to dream about. Some of the time when he'd been younger he'd wake from sleep with vague notions of firm skin touching his own. But with werewolf rights the way it was he knew that even indulging in those thoughts was just going to hurt him in the long run, so he'd even tried not to think of them when he went about his day. Still, there were other moments of weakness, like when he was given a rather blush worthy novel from James in jest, or remembered what a girl looked like without their shirt on. Things that had him dipping his hand into his underwear like the man in the magazine.

It would be interesting, he thought, to indulge, just this once. To see what all the fuss was about. He wouldn't be hurting anyone. No one would really have to know either, and he doubted he would make a mess since years of covering James' mishaps up had clued him into a few tricks here and there.

It took a few more seconds before he was darting towards the showers, stripping to his underwear and waiting for the water to warm up. He wondered how it happened. Did he think of something specifically, or did it just happen now he wanted it to?

It turned out the giddiness had him hard just as the water warmed to a reasonable temperature. His underwear joined the pile, Remus never so happy to have the dorm to himself than he was now. Not only did he not have to put up with Peter's constant wary stares when he slid into a stall next to him, but he had never been comfortable with any part of his body on show. Scars were just something a werewolf had to live with.

It turned out it was one thing to think it and another to do. Sure, his cock was half hard against his stomach, but after a few tentative touches Remus didn't really know what to do. It was weird, the feeling stinging slightly as a particular scar on his palm dragged harshly up the side of his shaft. He didn't know how long he did this for, or how long it took before it got how James bragged about it.

He tried thinking about those novels James had got him, the ones that had made him feel something interesting when he read them. About bad euphemisms and soft skin. It worked, slightly. As he remembered chapter thirteen his stomach started tightening, the scar in his palm not even registering as he sped up his strokes a bit more.

It felt even better when something caught his nose, a familiar scent of wet grass and slightly animal, canine. It drove his inner wolf to rear its head, an instinct to get his leg over and prove his dominance. To rut, basically, and had him arching against the shower stall, the water slicking his skin so his hand practically glided over his cock.

Merlin he got it now, and if this was just on his own he didn't dare to think what it would be like with someone else. Couldn't really think about what it would be like with someone else, which had him stopping just for a second. He soon perked back up, the wolf determined to finish, just so he too could mark some part of the bathroom, his human counterpart finally letting it out just this once.

He felt good, great, and as he had the forethought to twist, just to try, on the edge of his next stroke, he found himself boneless, everything coming out of him in long thin stripes.

He washed off the sweat and cum almost as soon as he'd finished, wiping himself down and scrubbing himself clean so he could collapse in his bed without fear of being caught. He wasn't surprised to find he dropped off after a few seconds, all his energy left behind in the shower.

He woke to the others clattering around the dorm, Peter on cloud nine as he recited something or other about his date at Puddifoots. 'And then we went around back where, well, it's one thing to see them and another to touch.'

'Lucky,' James sighed, the glaze in his eyes familiar from years of telling stories about Lily. 'I can't believe you two had good days and I was stuck third year watching. Do you know how boring third years are? I can't ever believe we were like that. You know what, we weren't, they've just gotten lower in quality after our year.'

'Whatever you say James,' Peter chuckled, still stuck in his glow. 'Merlin they were nice.'

Remus was sad to note, when he sat up, that James had found where he'd hid his sweets. Sucking on a sugar quill that was definitely not in his own bags he was chucking his new things anywhere there was empty space. Peter also seemed to have gotten something out of James' thievery, a half eaten chocolate frog in his hand he chucked the rest of Remus' sweet stash to Sirius.

Peter bragged about his experience for a good hour before Sirius told him not everyone wanted to hear about his girlfriends breasts. Peter called him jealous. James just laughed and said if there was one thing Peter didn't have to worry about it was Sirius being jealous. A pointed look, a quick sneer and Sirius was not so subtly trying to cover the magazine Remus had seen earlier.

It was another three tosses before any of them realised Remus was awake, and another two before they realised that Remus had seen they stole his contraband. James was the one to sheepishly hand it back, promising it wouldn't happen again.

'The day I believe that is the day you stop pranking.' No amount of protestations could help redeem James, not after his shopping list. So he had to settle with an apology, and come up with a better hiding place when James decided to go to sleep.

Hogsmeade turned out to be a full weekend. James was up at the crack of dawn again, trying to coerce Remus up too. It took a battle where Remus lost his pillow and half his quilt before James decided it wasn't worth it and went to bother Sirius and Peter.

By the time he did get up half the castle was gone again. With no one around Remus could lie in the common room with only first and second years to creep around him, and they didn't put up much of a fuss when Remus was not only something that could eat them but was a full five or four years older than them.

He couldn't go back to the dorm today, Peter having been given some instruction at Hogsmeade from his girlfriend that he was going to get more than a quick preview was now in the dorm with her. Remus had made the mistake of going up there after breakfast, only to have Sirius steer him by the arm back down.

'You don't wanna go in there,' he warned, Sirius going off to the library to fetch something as soon as Remus was safe from the horrors within.

The common room got boring after a while, and soon Remus was remembering what he did yesterday, wondering if he could get away with doing it again. He'd tasted the forbidden fruit and now, he wanted more. It didn't help he woke up hard almost every morning now, his inner wolf smelling that animal scent all over the dorm, mingling in the background and hovering over the majority of Sirius' things. He just wanted to try it again, just once. Quickly. There had to be somewhere he could go.

Even as he thought it the more logical side of him started laughing. One wanking session and five years of repressed hormones were catching up with him.

Of course, he didn't manage to find any time alone that day. Nor the day after since he was back to work for Hagrid. Nearly a week had passed before the thought of just doing what James did and have one off late at night But even the thought had him turning red. The idea that he would have to look the others in the eye afterwards. He wasn't a wizard, he couldn't just put up silencing spells. Not to mention he would know himself. He could smell when the others did it, hear them sometimes too, he only did it in the shower because it washed itself down the drain afterwards. He didn't think he could stand smelling his scent so potent and knowing why it was there. It would be too embarrassing. James would surely suss him out one way or another.

It got worse the week after. Not only was he wired up from more than his tiring work with Hagrid, but it was near the full moon. His senses were in overdrive, and irritability at an all time high. The only one allowed around him that week was James by elimination. Peter was too scared to even look in Remus' direction. Was it slightly Peter's fault, maybe. But really when the moon was gone Remus would apologise for his behaviour, seeing how wrong he was to toss Peter's stuff out the dormitory window after he'd brought his girlfriend over one time too many that week.

'- sick of smelling your dick all over the room!' he remembered screaming while James held him back. The rest of it was a blur, but he was sure at some point he'd threatened to cut the soles out of Peter's shoes. Why he thought of that threat was a mystery.

Sirius was well versed in a bad month, and had taken one look at the mess that was Peter after that confrontation and spent the nights afterwards sleeping in the common room.

'So he doesn't maul me James,' he'd heard Sirius hiss.

'He won't,' James said, the response so repeated these days it sounded dull. Remus didn't really mean to glare at Sirius, it was mostly that smell that followed him around that had him riled up.

'You don't see how he looks at me.'

He tried to be nicer to Sirius in the following days. The two of them had been getting along after all, and James was planning on moving in with him again this summer which meant Remus was too. So he tried not to be mean. But being hard every time Sirius passed didn't exactly help his case. Remus was at a point where it was only his embarrassment that restrained him enough to not hump Sirius' leg like a dog.

James was pulled at all corners that week, and every chance he got Remus said he was sorry, wishing he had more control over himself. James, of course, told him he was being stupid, despite the fact he'd had to console a squeamish Peter and petrified Sirius earlier in the evening.

Two nights before the full moon James kept him down in the common room for as long as possible, telling Sirius to stop being a wuss and just go to bed. The fire was doing something for his mood at least, casting aside all his annoyance in favour of remembering all those times he'd lay in front of the fire at home. Mr Potter used to let him sit on his lap when he was younger, when his legs used to get cramps from the wolf growing before his human body.

'I'm sorry,' Remus said.

James hopped down next to him, huddling close to Remus' back and slinging an arm around his waist. 'It's fine, I keep telling you. Besides, you kind of had a point with Peter. Even I could start to smell him and his girlfriend around the dorm, and my nose isn't half as good as yours.' A pointed flick on said appendage had Remus giving a wet chuckle, wiping his eyes again as a whole new flood of tears threatened to breach his eyes.

'Do you remember when we were little and Mrs Potter would make those full moon shortbreads?' It was one of the ways she used to feel helpful in the first few years Remus lived with them. They were always in the shape of moons, and always had too much sugar on them for his sensitive tongue. 'I used to hate her making them. She would wait for me to eat them, and I would, but as soon as she went to bed I'd throw them back up. I always felt bad.'

'I know.' The hand around his waist tightened.

The day of the full moon Remus felt like he was reliving some kind of repeat of last month. Breakfast was awful, every student he encountered stood a good metre away.

When he got to the hospital wing, two students even moved beds so they wouldn't be near him, and to make matters worse, around mid morning, his red headed advocate turned up again. After the month of silence, he'd hoped she had given up on her want to talk to him. Yet there she was, looking just as determined as always as she stopped next to his bed.

'I wanted to apologise.' She held her hand out, Remus shaking it gently, not sure what to think just yet since she obviously had more to say. 'I read through the book. And before you say anything, yes, I did know some of it. But I just hadn't realised... I mean, wizards are always going on about how superior they are to muggles yet they still practice slavery. It's horrible, and I know James isn't like a pure pureblood but it kind of threw me when I connected his family with actually having something to do with this foul institution. It make me think the worst of him- it always makes me think the worst of him- but I've seen the way he treats you and, I'm sorry. I can't believe I actually almost made things ten times worse.'

'You thought what you were doing was right.' He felt like he had to give her some credit. She cared at least, which was more than he could say about the rest of the wizarding world.

'I know, but usually I think these things through before I do them. In your case I just... I just saw another guy like me and thought he was in trouble. I should have been more careful.' For an apology it was really good. There were no backhanded comments or rude names. She even complimented James- kind of. 'Anyway, I had better go. I hope you have-'

'A good moon?' he finished for her. She cringed, Remus having a bit more pity on her laughed at it, letting her see there was no more animosity between them. 'I will. Thank you.'

She turned almost as red as her hair as she bolted out the hospital wing's doors.

Lunch came with James bringing him a nice raw steak, the blood doing little to help his street cred as it clung to his chin.

Since it was winter, or bordering, that was his last meal, the sun setting way before dinner would start. It was rather cold in the shack this month. Cold enough for Remus to miss his cellar and even the sad excuse of a changing site that James and Sirius would find for him over the summer.

He kept his clothes on for as long as he could, only when he had to strip them off it was to the thought he could've had one off had the weather been nicer, which just set his bad mood back on.

He wasn't surprised to wake up in pain the next morning. What did surprise him was just how early it was. Usually, he slept through whoever cared for him finding him, usually mid morning or late evening. Today, it was still grey, and his legs were still shaking off the last of his transformation jitters.

He itched and bled as he made his way over to the tattered remains of his clothes, something pulling at the corner of his mind and demanding attention. It wasn't until his bladder decided he was still animal enough to just go wherever it liked that Remus realised what damage had been done this month.

He let out a scream more worthy of wolf than boy, his voice having gone hoarse long through the night, but still there enough for Remus to let out a good volume of howls as new pain struck through him.

There was a reason he slept through this stage, he thought. It was too much for him to handle. Never before had he realised how much had already been done by the time he woke up. There was so much blood, it was everywhere he looked and everywhere he didn't want to look.

He let out another shriek as his body tried to lie back or curl up, each action pulling open his wounds and knocking his cock against something or other. He hated the wolf, he really hated it. Last time it had fancied a scratch and tore his throat open, now, it seemed like it was punishing Remus for his little indulgence after Hogsmeade.

The claw marks themselves were shallow, if they were deep he didn't even want to imagine what it would be like. That didn't mean they didn't hurt. No, it was probably the most painful thing he'd ever felt, next to his transformations. He didn't know why or when it had happened through the night, all he wanted was for it to heal, please Merlin heal.

He tried to sleep away the pain, but every knock and breath he took only kept him more awake. Pomphrey found him minutes later crying into the floorboards, not knowing what to do when she saw he was conscious.

She ended up levitating him up, promising she'd get right to work when they got back to the castle. She tried to talk to him along the way, help take his mind off the pain. 'I thought you were still a wolf to be honest. We could still hear you from the castle. I didn't think...'

He wished she had thought.

His mind filed away the embarrassment he had to feel later as they passed students awake in their beds, all of them gawking at the werewolf passing between them. One of the boys gave him a sympathy wince, but other than that they stared dispassionately at him. A Hufflepuff girl even sneered at him when he caught her eye.

He stayed awake through the spells, through the potions, only resting when Pomphrey closed the big wounds on his body. As the pain seeped away, he was allowed to sleep.

The smell of wet dog woke him up, James hissing not long after as the bed dipped and something soft was wrapped around his hands.

'You're a sap, you know that?' James whispered.

'He looks cold.' Sirius.

'A right sap.'

'What did Pomphrey tell you?' Sirius asked, instead of getting up, settling himself carefully along the side.

'He's going to know you're there, and not much. If you ask me the general population of Hogwarts are more helpful in this case.'

'Firstly, he's not. He's probably got enough sleep potion in him to have him knocked out for a week. Secondly, you really think he gnawed off his own dick?'

The sheets were lifted, Remus shifting slightly as the cold air aggravated his skin. 'Don't know about gnawed, not sure even the wolf can reach that far.' He felt bandages shifting, before a slap from Sirius had James putting everything down. 'It looks like it's still there.'

'Can't believe it actually went for his dick. I mean, you'd think that was one place it would avoid.'

James chuckled, 'If you ask me I think he knew you were trying to get some. Remus can smell horniness from a mile off after all.'

The bed dipped, the sound of flesh hitting the floor came afterwards as James fell off his seat. 'He can not. I think. Shut up! Besides, he thinks I fancy someone called Moony.'

Another laugh came, James not even trying to keep the noise down this time. 'How the hell does he know about Moony?'

'I panicked,' Sirius grit out. 'He asked me who I fancied and it was the first thing that came to mind.'

'You could've said me.'

'I really couldn't.'

Another snigger from James. 'You could've told him it was him.'

'I couldn't.'

A sigh this time. 'I honestly don't see why you're pussy footing around him. He doesn't understand subtlety. Not in matters like this. If you'd told him-'

'I don't even know what he thinks about guys who, you know, like other guys, why the hell would I just tell him?'

'Because he doesn't care,' James said. 'You saw what he was like when we asked him if he liked anyone, he didn't exactly blink twice when I asked him about boys. He doesn't care.'

Remus considered trying to tell them he could hear them. At least so he wouldn't have to feel so guilty about listening into this obviously quiet conversation. But every time he tried he felt more and more weighed down. Pomphrey had drugged him good. He tried going to sleep instead, his brain too tired to think about what the hell the two of them meant, and if they actually meant it.

'Look,' James said, 'Pomphrey said she's keeping him in for a week. When he gets out just fess up. You'll feel better for it, and I won't have to put up with your whining anymore.'


	13. Chapter 13

‘Hey Remmy,’ James cooed, sitting gently on Remus’ bed.

‘Cut it out, you know I hate when you use that voice.’ It was his gentle tone, meant to soothe, but over the years had grown annoying. Especially when it was used after the full moon.

James knew this since he straightened from his gentle bend and plastered the smuggest look he could garner on his face. ‘I know, it’s why I do it. You being able to tell me off makes me know how well you are.’

Remus shoved him slightly, as well as he could anyway. The past few days had been a tiring mess. Between potions he’d had a few visitors to his bedside, mainly James who came by to keep him company. Sometimes he would fight through the potion to talk to him. Most days, he just lay there and hoped James wouldn’t leave if he thought he was sleeping. He should have told them he was awake on some days. That he could hear them. But, then he would remember what they said the first time they’d come to see him at the hospital wing. He had hoped that something along those lines would be said again. However, all he heard were pranking preparations and complaints about their schoolwork. At this point, Remus wasn’t sure it had actually happened. For all he knew he was so drugged he could have imagined the whole thing. Although why his brain would tease him with the thought of Sirius liking him was baffling.

‘So, how’s your dick?’ James asked, not beating about the bush at all. Remus was seriously going to have to teach him tact at some point in his life.

‘Still there.’

He let James take a peek when he lunged for the covers, figuring he should be somewhat self conscious, but there were so many bandages surrounding that area it was hard to get a good look at anything. Sure enough, James sat back seconds later grumbling about Pomphrey’s good wrappings skills.

‘Any idea why it happened?’

Remus shook his head. Pomphrey had a few ideas, but nothing certain yet. What she was most worried about was the fact this was the second fatal injury the wolf had attempted on Remus in the same number of months. To her, and her research, this was unusual enough for her to grow worried. The wolf was vicious, and sure it took it out on the human when there was nothing else to bite and chew, but the wolf also had a preservation instinct. It never delivered anything purposefully fatal, and sure, a missing limb hurt, but the wolf usually could survive until morning with it gone. A torn neck, and trying to chew its own genitals off, that wasn’t normal. She had told Remus that she was going to look over the shack in the coming week to see what it could be. Her main suspicion however, was perhaps there was some part of a human scent on his body when he changed that had the wolf riled more than usual. Bloodlust could overrun anything after all.

James didn’t have any explanation when Remus asked, instead, he had a solution to one part of Remus’ problem. Chocolate. Not just any chocolate either, Honeydukes chocolate. ‘Smuggled it from Hogsmeade just for you Remmy.’

‘You shouldn’t have,’ he said around his third bar. Merlin he’d missed chocolate. Being trapped in the hospital wing meant when he was able to eat past potions he was given nothing but nutritious meals meant to help his body recover. Sure, it had only been a few days. But a few days full of boredom, sleep and pain meant that it felt more like weeks since he’d had anything tasty in his mouth.

Overall, the visit lasted an hour. Mainly because he had his own dinner to get to in the great hall. James left a few chocolate frogs under Remus’ pillow for later consumption before skipping out.

Remus only thought about it for a second before he was calling ‘Wait,’ and asking, ‘Can I talk to Sirius? Promise I won’t maul him.’

‘Alone?’ James clarified. Remus nodded. James pursed his lips, ‘I guess. Might take some convincing though, he’s still a bit squeamish about the injuries.’

‘Tell him I’ll make sure I’m covered up.’

James laughed, that strange look back on his face that Remus could now pin point as amusement when he promised he would ask him.

The day dwindled with more potions and little to do. The other kids in the hospital wing didn’t bother to talk to him. Save for the cursory questions each of them asked as they came in with one malady or another about whether he was a eunuch or not, they left him alone. Three of them had already changed beds when they got the ones on either side of him. Two had even piled into the same one when Pomphrey said there weren’t any more free. It was a bad week for those with injuries, and quite frankly the only source of entertainment in Remus’ long confinement.

The chocolate bars were gone by the time lights out was called. Those who were forced to spend the night in the infirmary cast one last warning glare at Remus before turning their backs to sleep. Remus figured if they were really that scared of him they would know better than to turn their backs. Everyone knew that was a sign of challenge to a wild animal, they were practically begging Remus to eat them. Idiots.

Something landing in his lap shocked him out of his doze an hour later. It was a book, the title too dark to be seen in the dim night light. Sirius appeared seconds afterwards, shedding the invisibility cloak with one last look at the snoring beds.

‘James told me to give you this, said you looked bored. You wanted to see me?’

He took a good look at Sirius. He didn’t look too different than usual, all hesitant fidgeting at the side of Remus’ bed. But maybe that had been Remus’ problem. He’d started seeing Sirius looking like this as normal, when in actual fact, it wasn’t. Sirius, he’d seen, was a pretty confident guy. When Remus saw him in the halls when he was running errands for Hagrid, he was joking and messing around with everyone. Everyone. He didn’t back down from confrontation, James telling Remus more than one story about him going up against seventh year Slytherins when he was only a first year. He was the first to try looking for the giant squid in third year, to steal a niffler in fourth. He was fearless, is what Remus had heard. Yet, there he was, looking like he would bolt at any moment. But maybe not out of fear.

‘Is it some kind of kink?’

‘Huh?’ Now it was a little fear.

‘I heard you and James talking when you came to see me after the moon.’ He didn’t even have to specify which time since Sirius was already thinking of that occasion. Remus could read it in the way he was holding the cloak. Maybe he should have waited until he was out of the hospital wing, where he could actually chase Sirius down should he try and run. But he was trying to be as least threatening as he could. At least so the Ministry wouldn’t get involved. ‘About how you like me. Was Hogsmeade a date?’

The cloak pulled up to his neck, before throwing itself on top of Remus’ covers, Sirius pulling some courage from somewhere as he straightened up. ‘Yes, it was. Or it would have been.’ If Sirius had actually asked him, and if Remus actually hung around the whole day.

‘So, what, you like me, or you like that I’m a werewolf?’

‘Er-‘

‘It’s not a hard question Sirius.’

Sirius looked like he wanted to argue with that. Eventually he settled on, ‘You?’

‘You don’t sound so sure.’

‘Maybe that’s because it’s kind of a trick question,’ Sirius countered, sounding much more like the boy in the hallway than the one that would studiously avoid Remus’ eye whenever they were in the same room.

‘What’s tricky about it. Do you like me, or is it a kink?’

Sirius squinted like he was still trying to figure out a potions problem. ‘How can liking you be a kink?’

He sounded sincere enough in his confusion for Remus to take some pity on him, dulling his tone down as he explained, ‘You know, the whole dark creature thing. I know a few wizards over the years that have indulged in sullying themselves with us.’ He’d been approached by a few his first time in Diagon Alley, one of them even having the gall to ask Mr and Mrs Potter if he was on loan. He didn’t even want to think about the other werewolves in similar positions to himself. The fact he was only one in a long list of dark creatures that often found themselves being exploited for a wizard’s pleasure didn’t sit well with him.

Thankfully Sirius seemed to be on the same page as he visibly gaped, ‘That’s a thing? Oh Merlin so many things are making sense.’ And they didn’t seem to be good things either. He seemed to remember Remus’ question, ‘Oh Merlin, I don’t. I mean, I like you, but I don’t like you just because you’re a werewolf.’

Remus scrutinised him to make sure, Sirius meeting his gaze head on. After a moment, he relaxed back into his pillow. ‘Well I’ll think about it then.’

Sirius deflated, his eyebrows drawing again as he asked, ‘Think about it?’

‘Us.’ Remus clarified. ‘I mean, I don’t know if it’s legal first of all. And then I have to actually think about you. Don’t know if you’ve noticed but I haven’t exactly had much experience in this department.’

‘Wait, so you’re not turning me down?’

Remus shrugged. ‘Haven’t decided yet.’

Sirius didn’t look as downcast about that as Remus thought he would be. ‘But you’re thinking about it?’

‘Once I work past your weird signals,’ Remus nodded.

Sirius chuckled, grabbing the invisibility cloak, ‘James said I should’ve just told you.’

‘Yeah, well, don’t tell James this but he was probably right.’

Sirius grinned, tugging on the invisibility cloak and hightailing it out of there most likely before Remus changed his mind.

Remus wasn’t kidding about needing to think about it. To begin with, he had two years’ worth of memories to shift through, wondering where exactly this infatuation began and how he was so blind to it. He blamed the fact he’d never had this attention before on the latter. It wasn’t his fault that he’d never been allowed to think of himself as desirable. Werewolves weren’t allowed to mate, it was part of the law, he wasn’t allowed to contemplate outside of the perverse the idea that one day someone might want him like an ordinary person. But those laws were generally aimed at werewolves going for the opposite sex. He didn’t know what the laws were about two of the same gender.

When he thought about it, he could see instances now where Sirius wasn’t scared of him because of what he was. Like, the comments that James would make to him, the ones that Remus had cast off as James being his usual weird self. The fact he stayed with Remus after the full moon, makings sure he didn’t bleed out on his sheets. The date, obviously, where it wouldn’t be fear that had Sirius hesitant but nerves. This had been going on for a while. Although, to be fair to Remus, it was hard to differentiate nerves from fear sometimes.

When Remus had exhausted his mind making sure that Sirius, indeed, wasn’t having him on, wasn’t just saying it, he turned to the other problem with giving Sirius a chance. Whether he actually wanted to.

James was around at breakfast with more contraband and the biggest, smuggest grin Remus had ever seen on his face. ‘A little birdy tells me Remmy and Sirius might be going in a tree very soon. Maybe doing something they shouldn’t be.’

‘Finish that song and I’ll find this Lily you’ve been pining over and really make sure you never stand a chance,’ Remus threatened.

Despite James saying he was done with her, it worked, a comical pout pursing his features as he hopped up next to Remus. ‘Fine. But it’s true right? You said you would think about Sirius?’

Remus nodded, accepting the bone crushing hug that came with only minimal wincing, he still couldn’t sit right. ‘Tell you what, I am not gonna miss trying to woo you. Just hearing about some of the things come out of Sirius’ mouth…’ he shuddered, accepting the elbow when it came. ‘Not that you aren’t pretty Remus, it’s just, you know, you’re family, I don’t want to think of you in that light.’

‘Don’t think I want to think of myself in that light yet,’ Remus confessed.

James seemed to see something in that since he said, ‘I’ll keep Sirius away from the hospital wing the rest of the week. Don’t worry, I think he’s going to be riding his high for a while so you don’t have to decide anything right away. Just, okay, this is the last thing I’m going to say in Sirius’ defence and that’s it, but if there’s anyone who would be great with you Remus it’s him. And not just because he’s my best friend. I mean, you know him, he’s not as brash as he looks. He’ll respect your decision no matter what, and if you do say yes he’s not just going to molest you right away. So… yeah, that’s it.’

‘I know. It’s not that.’ Sirius had proved he was a good guy. Between taking not only James but himself in through the summer, and actually being nice to him whenever they were together he was more than good he was great. It was more to do with actual interest. ‘I just don’t know whether I like Sirius like that. It won’t be fair to him if I say yes and not actually mean it.’

‘Well, now you know, and now Sirius isn’t being a dick about being subtle, sorry about the name,’ he had the gall to pat Remus’ crotch as well, as if just the mention of the nearly amputated body part brought back pain. ‘he’s going to be going all out. You are about to be, I want to say wooed, but you know what I’m like and Sirius is two times as bad so, yeah, good luck.’

Luck wasn’t what he needed.

James, sure enough, stuck to his word and kept Sirius away from the hospital wing the rest of the week. It helped, a bit, to get his mind back into focus and start thinking about Sirius as, well, potential romantic material. But, he had to say without Sirius there it was hard to make a judgement. He didn’t really know Sirius that well, despite living with him for two years, and he definitely didn’t him without being all jittery. He needed a while to just be around Sirius and test the waters.

The time came, on Saturday morning, where Madame Pomphrey finally came around to tell him he was free to go. As soon as she did Remus was out of bed and racing for the door. His legs ached from so many days in bed, and sure, he wobbled a bit. But he was free. Free.

The students weren’t expecting him out, and they certainly weren’t expecting him unsupervised. The ones already awake took one look and ran. Remus thought they were warning the ones ahead since they were heading towards the Great Hall. Remus didn’t care, Saturday meant bacon, and since he’d first woke up in the hospital wing he’d never smelled or seen a scrap all week.

Peter was the only familiar face when he breached the Great Hall, sitting with his girlfriend he looked to be having the most pleasant morning of his life. It wasn’t hard to figure out what he’d been doing the night before. Making a beeline for them, Remus remembered what he’d said before the moon, not surprised when the smile on Peter’s face dropped and the knife he was using to cut his toast clutched tighter, and maybe aimed a little Remus’ way.

‘I wanted to say sorry about my attitude. It wasn’t your fault and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.’

‘No, you shouldn’t,’ Peter snapped. Remus spied a little pinch from Peter’s girlfriend that had him changing tact completely, ‘But it’s fine. I guess it wasn’t your fault either.’

‘No, it was. Thanks for trying though. Next moon I’ll keep out of your way,’ Remus promised, leaving before the quiet peace they’d created was shattered.

Bacon was just as good as he remembered. As were the sausages, and even the toast he piled high on his plate. He may have stayed in the Great Hall longer than he should of, just so he could indulge in the smell of cooked greasy meat for a while longer after his confinement. When he finished, he didn’t want to spend the day in the dorm like he should have done. He’d been kept inside for far too long, and right now, he needed a good Winter breeze on his face.

He managed to hobble to the courtyard without running into anyone. He was half sure there were students about but had chosen alternative routes around him. Sure because he’d heard footsteps, even seen a few faces that quickly disappeared as soon as they saw Remus.

The wind was just as inviting and biting as Remus imagined, chilling his cheeks until they were stiff. He didn’t care that his fingers were starting to hurt, or that there was literal snow falling in front of his face. He was outside, that was what mattered. Besides, the cold was quite bearable when he had a hat covering his ears.

‘Thanks,’ he said, James leaning against the pillar beside him.

‘No problem, although, you might want to give that back to Sirius soon. I think we have Quidditch practice.’ That explained the canine scent if it was Sirius’.

‘You think?’ James always knew when he had Quidditch practice.

‘Not like I’m captain anymore.’ That had been hard on James. Sometimes Remus could see James wondering why the professors thought it was a good idea to take his captainship away and give him a head boy badge. Especially since he wasn’t exactly excelling in his duties. He was still on the Quidditch team at least, something that James had feared at the beginning of the year would be affected because of his new position. But his passion for the game had definitely dwindled ever since he had to take more late night rounds and attend more meetings than he had last year. ‘Anyway, I was also told to give you this when I saw you.’

It was a letter, a very formal letter. It even had a wax seal, with a crest on the front. Inside was an invitation for Remus to join Sirius for a late night snack in the common room that evening. ‘He’s kidding, right?’ Remus had to ask. This was more than over the top.

Yet James shrugged, a familiar, ‘told you so,’ look on his face as he wandered off, snatching the hat as he went so Remus had to chase him down.

An invitation. At least Sirius was giving him a choice. When he managed to steal back the hat, figuring Sirius had given it away and therefore could suffer through a cold Quidditch practice, he told James to tell Sirius he would be there, wanting a few more hours in the cold before he went in.

He would give Sirius a chance. It would be the only way he could know for sure, after all, if he had even an inkling of interest.


	14. Chapter 14

He wasn't going to make the first move. Sirius had been the one to want this date and there it was up to him to break the ice. It was only fair, and had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Remus couldn't come up with anything himself.

He'd already been through the usual date etiquette. At least, the stuff he'd read he was supposed to say on a date. He'd complimented Sirius when he met up with him. Complimented the venue too since he would most definitely get hexed if Sirius had thought about meeting somewhere else. He'd remarked on the weather, the food that was currently sitting happily in his stomach and then, well, he came up blank.

It occurred to him, as he was sitting there, that he didn't actually know all that much about Sirius. He knew a bit. The usual history that was common knowledge in Hogwarts. He knew Sirius was an older brother, that he used to be a Black, he was on the Quidditch team and he had a penchant for mischief. But, other than that Remus didn't really know mich.

He supposed he should have since they had basically lived together for more than a year. But, considering he'd spent that year thinking Sirius hated him it wasn't really in his agenda to learn what made up Sirius Black.

But, then, that was what a date was for. The whole point of it was to get to know the other person. If Remus could only settle on a topic he knew this awkward air between them would evaporate.

However, he couldn't, and his fingers ended up fiddling with a cupcake wrapper just so he could have an excuse not to look up.

The silence stretched. On and on it went until Remus considered asking if they should just go to bed and try again another day. But that would be rude. Sirius would probably think Remus wasn't interested and they would go back to square one.

As appealing as the idea was of getting rid of this and any future pressure like this, he couldn't do that. He couldn't do that to Sirius. Not after all the effort he'd put in. He most certainly couldn't do it to himself. This was a chance in a million. Someone actually wanted to see past his werewolf problem and be with him. As selfish, and some would argue cruel if considering Remus merely playing on Sirius's feelings, it was, this was Remus's chance to be happy. To be normal.

So he dug his heels in, dropped the wrapper and tried to come up with anything to say. "Have you always liked boys?"slipped out before he could censor himself.

Sirius deflated, actual relief shining in his eyes before the questkon sunk in. "Er, I don't know. Why?"

A fair question, one that Remus wanted to reply with an I don't know. Only, if he did that, he got the idea this line of conversation would be over in under three words. He couldn't go back to that silence. So he shrugged, his brain working overtime as his natural curiosity reared its head again. "I guess I'm curious why you don't like girls."

Sirius took that in good faith, Remus seeing an answer on his tongue. One that was swiftly held back as Sirius rounded with, "Do you? Like girls I mean?"

"I'm not allowed to like girls." A true statement if there ever was one. He'd heard rumours about the Ministry thinking about enforcing a punishment for any unsupervised werewolf with a member of the opposite sex. They were adamant that the werewolf race died with the bite these days. 

"But if you could," Sirius challenged. "If you were allowed, would you prefer a girl here or me?"

"Honestly?"

Sirius nodded.

Remus thought about it. About the red haired girl and how nice she was to him. She didn't look at him like he was a monster. She didn't look at him like he was even abnormal. Yet, the thought of her being in Sirius's place didn't appeal as mich. Perhaps it was the fact Remus was already used to Sirius. He was used to him invading Remus's space and knew how to, kind of, manouver around him. If a girl came into the picture, Remus didn't know how he would respond. Spending so much of his life living by instinct it was hard to reign it in. He didn't think he could do go through the process like he did with Sirius in a matter of a few dates. This wasn't even including the actual dates themselves. At one point they would probably want to kiss. Then maybe sex, and he would have to undress. She would have to put up with him around full moons. 

"You," Remus settled on finally. With Sirius, it was just a matter of seeing if he was interested. With a girl, Remus didn't think they would have the experience to understand Remus in the way he needed them too. For him, it wasn't boy or girl, it was just who he could be comfortable with.

The answer, even if Remus kept the rest of his reasons to himself, had Sirius beaming at him. He gladly answered Remus's question afterwards, telling some long convoluted story about discovering he didn't like girls in a romantic sense. He kept going even when he was done, the silence seeming extremely far away now as Sirius kept finding topics they could breach.

Overall, when Sirius called it a night, Remus wasn't completely put off. 

He let Sirius handle James as he slid into bed, ignoring their louder than hushed whispers in favour of making a game plan for the next time Sirius planned a date.

The next day, Remus was expecting some awkwardness. If not from Sirius then from James. He didn't know why, just that he'd read in every romantic book he had that there was always an awkwardness when a groups dynamic changed.

Yet, when he got up, things were just how they usually wore. James harrassed him in the shower, Sirius kept his distance and Peter. Well, Remus didn't think anyone had actually told Peter what was going on. A good thing really since Remus didn't know what would happen if Peter knew about Sirius' interests. Probably blame Remus for enchanting Sirius, and Remus wouldn't actually blame him. He was still trying to figure out Sirius' taste in him as well.

He'd looked at himself in the mirror this morning long and hard. He tried to find something, anything that would explain why Sirius liked him. He didn't find it. All Remus saw when he looked in the mirror was a scrawny guy with too many scars and a sullen look on his face. Nothing noteworthy. Except his teeth. Those he was particularly proud of. Being a werewolf meant they were always in pique condition, ready to rip and chew even when he was human. When he was younger he'd often bite through his skin trying to chew his nails off. It got to the point the Potters started lathering his fingers in foul tasting liquids.

The memory brought a smile to his face. One James mercilessly poked at as he tried to cajole Remus to tell him what was so funny.

He managed to get out of that scrape thanks to Hagrid. As soon as he saw Remus, Hagrid was herding him outside and to the shed where he kept his axes. 

At first, Remus thought he was chopping firewood again. But, when Hagrid led him further into the forbidden forest than was practical he started to rethink his assumption.

"You're a strong boy, right Remus?" Hagrid asked.

"I guess," Not as strong as Hagrid, but Remus could hold his own.

"Good." 

That was the last of their conversation until they came to a very webby part of the forest. Remus could smell the spiders before he saw them. They had a distinct scent different to the natural aroma of the forest. It was rancid, a sour acid mixed with animal remains. Carnivores. Poisonous ones.

Remus had never thought Hagrid brave until they ventured halfway into spider country. Surrounded on all sides, Hagrid didn't look like he wasn't one bite away from being wrapped up and eaten. He just stood there, hand on hips as he assessed the hunk of metal sitting in his path.

Remus recognised it as part of a bike. The rider, he was sure, wasn't going to be coming back for it. The bike itself was missing its top half, the bottom slathered in so many webs Remus could kind of see why the axe was needed. 

"Right," Hagrid boomed, Remus jumping out of his skin as the man, still undeterred, took a stance on one side of the bike. "I'm going to go looking for the other half. You get chopping on this one. If anyone gives you any trouble just say you're a friend of mine."

"Right," Remus agreed weakly, fighting back the urge to call Hagrid back as he started on his way.

It took a few moments and more than one look to the webs around him before Remus was hefting the axe and picking a good side to start on. The webs were like hunks of metal never mind the bike. It took three swings before one strand gave way.

He didn't stop as the first sign of clear bike came into view. It wasn't the time to celebrate, not when he could smell the spiders gettint closer. He swung faster, his arms beginning to ache as he fought through web after web.

When it was finally free, Remus was sweating, the axe heavy in his arms as he held it up. It was hard to decide just which way to face. Surrounded on all sides by monstrous eight legged spiders the wise thing would have been choosing a side that would allow him a good escape route. Unfortunately, from experience, he knew spiders were fast. They were also extremely good climbers.

He ended up back to the bike, facing down the spider in front of him. It wasn't anything special, not the biggest of the bunch or standing on its own. It was just in front of Remus

He kept an ear on the ones he couldn't see as he focused back on the one in front. "I'm a friend of Hagrids," he tried, knowing that just because Hagrid thought that would work didn't mean it would. They could just say Remus ran off after all. By the time Hagrid found his bones he wouldn't even know they were Remus'.

The ones at his back moved closer, Remus hefting the axe up higher, ready to fight. He steeled his feet as they moved closer again, Remus's throat letting out one instinctual growl before he readied himself to swing.

Yet, almost instantly, a change reverbrared through the spiders. As one they stilled, then scattered like someone had blew them away. Remus looked around, expecting Hagrid to come walking up any moment now. Yet it was ten minutes before Hagrid showed his face, top half of the bike in tow.

Remus didn't even liger. He grabbed his half and ran until that sour smell was just a distant breeze, never so happy as he was to see Hogwarts as he set his load down next to Hagrids hut.

He got a reward for his hard days work at least, Hagrid sliding come rock cakes his way before supper. "You did well," Hagrid said, sending Remus and his rock cake forward as he clapped Remus on the back. "I honestly thought I would come back to find you tied up."

"It was a close thing," Remus said, knowing those spiders would be haunting his dreams for nights to come. 

"Well, you just gotta remember you're the stronger creature in there. Really," Hagrid insisted Remus knowing he wasn't looking too convinced. "There's a reason werewolves are considered highly dangerous by the ministry. Even like that you could probably hold your own."

"Thanks." 

Talks with Hagrid felt surreal sometimes. For so long he'd heard the exact same thing come out of other people's mouths. But with Hagrid, he didn't say it like it was frightening or wrong. He seemed amazed by it. Like Remus was this rare wonderful creature he got the pleasure of working with. Instead of the dangerous monster that was thrust upon him for lack of anything else to do.

Whatever the case, Remus was quick to change the subject, preferring to ask about more interesting topics. Like Christmas.

Apparently, Christmas at Hogwarts was like no other. There were enchanted suits of armour, trees, feasts, snow, it was like every fantasy someone had about Christmas piled into one. Remus was kind of looking forward to it. The way he looked at it, if it was half as good as Hagrid said then maybe he won't spend half of his day crying.

Sign ups for staying were already up, and as the weeks passed by only a handful of names were jotted down. Remus got the courage to ask Sirius about it one night. 

Remus had stolen him away from James under the pretence of returning a book. Really, Remus was just hungry and didn't want James stealing what little food the house elves gave him as they went down to the kitchens.

"I thought Hogwarts Christmases were great?"

"They are," Sirius agreed. "I know I didn't like to miss one. But people like spending Christmas with their family more than staying here. Really, it's mostly the kids that have nowhere else to to that stay. That and first years." That explained why Sirius liked to stay over then. When he was living at home, with some of the horror stories James told him about the Blacks, it was no wonder he wanted to stay well clear. "Besides," Sirius tacked on, "This castle gets a bit constraining when you're in it all day every day. People like a change in scenery."

"I guess." He didn't really agree with that. If Remus had been given the chance to go here from eleven he didn't think he'd ever want to leave. Really, there was only one other place he could think of that could possibly tempt him away, and right now that place was gone. Dead and buried with the Potters.

"So, Christmas," Sirius started, Remus tuning back into the conversation.

"What about it?"

"What do you want?" Sirius asked, like Remus actually had a choice. At least he wwasn't dithering about. Sirius had dropped that habit almost as soon as Remus said he'd give him a chance. He'd dropped a lot of things actually. Like his quiet nature.

No more did Remus get radio silence from him when they were together. Sirius had a million questions just bursting out of his mind and wanted Remus' opinion on all of them. He also stopped keeping to himself. He wasn't pushy or anything. Actually, he was being more respectful than half the teenage boys Remus had seen. But if Remus gave him an inch Sirius took it and never let go.

An example would be from their second date. Sirius had decided a nice scenic walk around Hogwarts grounds would be fun, like Remus didn't do this every day with Max. But he'd held his tongue because Sirius had been so excited and let him lead them around the fields and trees Remus knew by heart.

About halfway in, just as Sirius had darted off for a fifth time to examine a tree he claimed was his favourite, Remus ended up holding his hand. At the time, it was because he was in the middle of a story and could see Sirius zone in on a tree. Yet, afterwards, Sirius had taken that as something he was allowed to do, and now he took advantage of it whenever he could.

Like now, walking to the kitchens. It was like leading a dog, Sirius itching to run ahead, his hand tensing in Remus' as he pulled himself back. Remus was tempted to let Sirius run free, but since there was something on his mind and Sirius kept glancing at their joined hands so happily Remus let him stay.

For now. 

But if he got dragged around a corner one more time under the pretence someone was coming Remus was ditching him.

"What do I want for Christmas?" Remus wondered. "My house would be nice. Even just my old clothes." Sirius' face dropped, his hand going limp as memories of what was taken from then ran through both of their minds. Remus broke the memory, squeezing Sirius' hand gently to get his attention. "Honestly, what I really want this year is for James to have a good Christmas."

"Nothing for yourself?" Sirius pressed.

"Nah." It wasn't like he had want of much. Nothing was ever truly his after all. "If I want chocolate, I just have to go to the kitchens, or sneak over to Honeydukes." Something he'd been guilty of doing twice now James had shown him the secret passage. Remus liked to listen to rules, but sometimes his late night cravings overran his common sense. Especially if they were the only things keeping his nightmares away. "But James. Christmas will be hard for him. He's already dreading it."

"He is?"

Remus wasn't surprised Sirius hadn't picked up on it. He was stuck between a realm of constant elation and mourning too. If Remus hadn't been so used to looking out for James first he would have probably not picked up on it too. As it was, he'd already found James crying once this week. He'd been kicking himself for all the Christmases he'd missed out on. Calling himself selfish because he'd wanted to spend time with Sirius and Peter instead of coming home.

"Yeah. It's only going to get worse." Once James got over the absent days, he'd start on his attitude, of how he didn't help out or was ungrateful at times. Things Remus himself did from time to time.

Sirius sighed next to him. "I wish this hadn't happened to you."

"Us," Remus corrected, knocking his shoulder into Sirius'. "They loved you too."

They talked Christmas plans over cake that night.

Then again a few days later. 

Remus had just come back from his walk with Max when Sirius ran down to him. He had the biggest grin on his face as he skid to a stop. "I've got it. I've got how we can make James' Christmas." He held a scrap of paper out, a spell scribbled along the edge.

"What's it do?" Since Sirius could very well mean to turn James' hair pink. 

Sirius's hands started waving before he even spoke, the picture of excitement as he explained about a prank they did in fourth year. "It was to annoy the girls. Also a way for me to prove I really liked blokes." The way being enchanted mistletoe. It hung up in a doorway and didn't let the two poor suckers who stood under it leave until they kissed. "I mean, the alternative is to have horns on your face all day, and girls being girls, well, they didn't want that."

"So?' Since this still didn't explain what Sirius's plan was.

"So, we make some of this, hang it up, and get Evans to kiss James. I know he claims he's over her but, come on, there's no way he's going to turn down a kiss."

At first, Remus agreed it was a good idea. But, the more he thought about it the crueler it became. James wouldn't want his first kiss with the love of his life be forced. Hell, this whole fiasco would probably hurt his chances of ever being near her again. All in all, no matter how he looked at it there was no way this was ending well for anyone involved, and this wasn't even considering if the plan went wrong.

When he told Sirius, it took less than he thought it would to convince him not to go through with it. A pointed comment of Sirius hating it if the tables were turned and Remus was back to start the rest of his chores.

He didn't see much of Sirius after that. For some reason all of his free time was being taken up with something else. Nothing Remus was really concerned about since it gave him more time to look for James. More and more these days Remus would find him in a bathroom or his bed, his glasses gone and remembering everything he'd done wrong in his life.

"I'm sorry," James mumbled, his head buried in Remus' stomach.

It was Christmas eve, the two of them in the common room this time when James broke down. Probably a good thing too since Remus was getting moon angry again this month. All this change and sadness wasn't helping him curb his emotions. It also helped even less that Peter's girlfriend decided to take advantage of the lack of people and stay for Christmas. Predominantly in Peter's bed.

"It's fine."

"It's not," James sniffed, his shoulders still shaking. "I shouldn't be doing this. It's been months I should be over this."

"James no." It was one of the bigger problems James was facing these days. Probably why he was breaking down more frequently too. "Listen. These are your parents. They aren't coming back. It takes a while for it to sink in and never to make it better. You can be sad James, for as long as you like. I still am."

"I miss them. I wanna be home."

"Me too."

They stayed in front of the fire for a while, James' shoulders shaking and subsiding depending on how worked up his mind was getting. Remus didn't move the whole time. It was the least he could do. James never left him after all. Besides, Christmas eve wwasn't exactly easy for him either.

The fire dimmed as the hour passed, James finally moving from Remus' stomach to his lap. Remus started rubbing his head, knowing the headache working itself up was going to be a big one.

The rhythmic motion was enough to send James off to sleep after a while, Remus taking it as a win. Maybe the both of them could just sleep through Christmas this year. It would certainly be better than whatever was coming.

"It's sweet how you look after him."

Remus almost upset James as he turned to see the redhead and Sirius coming in. "You don't think James is making me do this then?"

A low blow, but one she deserved. "Maybe once. But I've seen him do the same for you."

"Rem," Sirius cut in before Remus could start. "Come on, bed. Lily wants to talk with James for a while."

Just the thought had Remus raising his shackles. But Sirius was insistent, so Remus had to settle with one unsaid threat and pacing the dorm.

Of course, that was swiftly foiled by first Peter and his girlfriend, and again by Sirius who somehow, and Remus wasn't disregarding a sleeping spell, managed to get him to sleep until noon.

When he woke, everyone was gone, smells of Hogwarts' feast wafting up to him. Enough that he stumbled down to the great hall, pleased to note the staff could sit with the pupils as he took the seat between James and Sirius.

He yawned, gathering his wits to begin damage control. Yet, when he opened his eyes, James didn't have a sad bone in sight. He seemed like he was on another plane of existence, drifting through the motions of eating with a massive grin on his face.

"Did you drug him?" Remus demanded.

Sirius held his hands up, shaking his head as he explained, "Lily just gave him something to be happy about."

Which, well, if it worked Remus couldn't really argue with. Not today anyway. So he bit his tongue and got back to his food.

"Did you open your present?" Sirius asked as desert came.

"Really?" He'd made it known he didn't want anything. Well, unless it was food in which case he was keeping until the full moon was over. Already he was feeling sick and it wasn't until tomorrow.

"Not from me," Sirius said. "There was one at the end of your bed when we woke up. I asked James if it was from him but... well, you can see why I didn't get a response."

James didn't even look to be hearint them, his spoon twirling bits of icing over his plate. "Creepy," Remus noted.

"Agreed."

The present was enough of an incentive to have Remus leaving the last of his cake, wishing again that Christmas didn't have to coincide with the full moon. He knew for a fact the food wouldn't be this good when he got out of the hospital wing, and considering he wasn't coming back here next year this seemed like a crappy deal. 

Sirius followed him up, mumbling the whole way about checking James' pumpkin juice at supper.

The present was right where Sirius said it was, the wrapping nothing like he would expect from James or Sirius. He thought for a moment it might be from Peter. Some kind of sacrifice so he wouldn't be slaughtered in Remus' bad temper. Yet, when he opened it, it didn't seem like something Peter would get him.

It was an owl. A big stuffed owl. One of the wings had been torn off and stitched back together, the animal tugging at the back of Remus' memory.

"Could've at least got you a new one," Sirius said.

"Could've," Remus agreed, setting the owl to the side in favour of the card.

It wasn't much, just a general Merry Christmas and hope he liked the present. But the name at the bottom, it, like the owl, had him thinking.

"Who's it from?" Sirius asked, having the decency to reign himself in and not climb over Remus to read it. He'd seen Sirius do that very thing to James and Peter numerous times.

"Someone called Lyall."

Sirius looked just as blank as him, so at least it wasn't anyone they immediately know. Remus wasn't so good with names. Names of students he was even worse with.

"No last name?" This time Sirius did climb over to get it, Remus happily handing it over.

"Just Lyall."

"Hmm," Sirius shrugged, tossing the card to the side. "Well, at least the owl is cute."

"Yeah." If also somewhat familiar.


End file.
